16 thoughts on “Feedback for Aissatou (Essay 2)”

  1. Personally I thought it was well written and in an order that the reader could follow.An example of this was where you gave a brief description of what memes were and where they originated as well as examples of where they popped up before they became popular

  2. I liked the topic that you picked for this essay. It made it Interesting to read.  And I like that you talked about where memes come from.  In your essay you say that all memes have something smart being them. But I disagree some memes are made in a form of bullying. Good job on your essay.

  3. your essay was very informative, it wouldve flowed better if you didnt have all those commas after everu “but” other than that you have very few grammar mistakes and you essay was very interesting to read. i enjoyed reading where it originated from. older people dont understand memes even though it has been around for a long time. Memes make us laugh which is why we like them so much

  4. You’re essay was very informative,I like that you went into the depth about the origination of where memes come from and even how the name “memes” was originated. A lot of memes are created to be a joke which I agree upon, although some memes are created to seperate certain groups of people or start arguments,such as the xbox and ps4 memes,the iphone and android memes etc. All in all this was a great essay.

  5. I absolutely loved this essay. One of the things you mentioned that I appreciate and agree with is how memes could be a therapeutic thing for us teenagers. To maybe the older generation its not really funny but to us it could really brighten our mood or day. It was also interesting and great that you added where memes originated from. I though that was important. I think there were a couple of sentences where you could’ve conjoined together but other than that great job.

  6. I enjoyed your writing because I learn a lot from your essay such as where the word meme originated from, I would’ve never known it came from Ancient Greek. I  also like how you mention Richard Dawkins the person who made the word “meme” popularize, two suggestion would be more detailed in the counter-argument and story of  meme you like.

  7. You did a great job proving your points and making sure the tropic of the essay was known. You did a great job explaining what the essay contained which makes sure all readers can understand what you are writing about. To make this essay stronger a believe a counter claim would fight your point even further

  8. I agree with you on how memes can basically change our demeanor from time to time.  I would alter things like a smoother transition and making it sound a bit less repetitive. other than that I enjoyed your essay and I thought it was really good.

  9. I like the topic you chose because some people are unknown about memes. When I read our essay I learn about memes. You explain really good about memes where they came form, how they get this name. So good job for that. I think you need bit more details on counter argument to prove your point strongly.  

  10. Is incredible how you define something that we see pretty much everyday like they are memes. I believe that a topic you could have touched was Dark humor, I think that this would make of your writing even a bigger and more consistent  argument.

  11. Aissatou, I enjoyed reading your essay; loved the background your gave us about memes and the perks of it. You supported your points perfectly, however, my suggestion is that you provide more details on your counterargument. Overall, great essay!

  12. Nice essay. I forgot to define what I thought violence was for my essay, but your essay reminded me to add it. I think the only thing your essay was missing was a counterclaim but it was really good.

  13. I really enjoyed your essay. I really liked the fact that u wrote about memes.Memes nowadays has became a hot topic in our daily life.Memes has taken over the whole social media.I think you should have talked about it more.But all in all a well developed essay.

  14. Your essay was done. I don’t think you have to fix much because you were able to get your point across to the readers. We are able to keep your reader engaged with what you were saying. I do think you should add a counterclaim to and I think it would be interesting to see how that would turn out. It would be something interesting because memes are funny but, what is the bad thing about them?

  15. Aissatou this was a really great informative essay for me and I strongly believe the rest of the audience also enjoyed it. I strongly agree with your statement. It would be great if you rephrased the third sentence of the introduction into a simpler way but besides that you have a great introduction with an amazing background on what memes are and also made you thesis statement clear.  As of the paragraphs i fell like using transition such as “furthermore”, “Conversely”, “Indeed”, “In Contrast” and “despite the fact that”.

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