Dear Students,
In reading through your generally excellent RWA2 responses to Sherman Alexie’s essay, I noticed that many of the most interesting paragraphs contained in the assignment read like draft paragraphs. As a result, for this group assignment, I’d like you to choose one paragraph from your RWA2: Responding to Reading assignment and answer the following questions: What is this paragraph about? What is the purpose of this paragraph? As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose? What questions might a reader have about this paragraph as it is currently written? After answering these questions, please re-write your paragraph FROM SCRATCH. Then, post 1/ the original paragraph, 2/ your answers to these questions and 3/ the re-written paragraph as a comment to this post.
1. What is this paragraph about?
This paragraph is about the advancement of technology in our current generation and how it further helped in the process of learning to read and write for me when i was young.
2. What is the purpose of this paragraph?
The purpose of this paragraph is to show how the invention of smartphones and other electronics have reshaped our current means of learning to write and write and how it further helped in my personal developments of learning. Not only that but it has also changed the learning methods of many aspects in this generation
3.How well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose?
I believe that the paragraphs fulfills its purpose well because i related the information in the paragraph to the main purpose of the essay. All in all the paragraph was different from the rest, however i did this to point out the uniqueness of the information in it. I feel the essay wouldn’t be complete without it.
4. What questions might a reader have about this paragraph as it is currently written?
Reading the paragraph alone without the rest of the essay, a reader might want to know the purpose of the paragraph, however if the reader reads everything it shouldn’t pose any questions really. Its pretty straight forward.
ORIGINAL:
The learning never ends; to this day I am learning the literature/literacies of the English language and its proper writing methods. Today’s technology has reshaped the conventional means of learning anything. Everything is on the go now, from the smartphones in our hands to the laptops in our homes. It has all helped tremendously on my journey and still continues to do so. My first experience with a computer was magical. To see a machine do so much so efficiently and quick, it was amazement to me. That’s why today I am fascinated by technology, there’s so much potential in it. For example, coding the process of communicating software with hardware to make it function is based solely on writing. Amazing isn’t it. The roots of English still being incorporate In the roots of today’s massive technological age.
REVISED:
The learning never ends; to this day I am learning the literature/literacies of the English language and its writing methods. Today’s technology has reshaped the conventional means of learning anything. Everything is on the go now, from the smartphones in our hands to the laptops in our homes. It has all helped tremendously on my journey and still continues to do so today. My first experience with a computer was magical. To see a machine do so much so efficiently and quick, it amazed me. That’s why today I am so fascinated by technology, hence why I’m taking computer engineering at City Tech. There’s so much potential in it. For example, coding the process of communicating software with hardware to make it function is partly based on writing. Amazing isn’t it. The roots of English still being incorporate in today’s massive technological age.
***TYPO QUESTION 2: to read and write.
Barry, You’ll note that very little changed between the original and revised version of this paragraph. And yet, you write in answer to question #2: “The purpose of this paragraph is to show how the invention of smartphones and other electronics have reshaped our current means of learning to read and write and how it further helped in my personal developments of learning. Not only that but it has also changed the learning methods of many aspects in this generation.” If this is the stated purpose of this paragraph, I continue to think that it needs to be revised. Would you agree or disagree? In either case, I’ll look forward to hearing your response and your reasons behind it.
Original Paragraph:
I think in this essay Alexie looks back on his childhood and how that has influenced the person he is today. In “Superman and Me,” Alexie uses the metaphor of paragraphs to show how his family were boxed in. Comparing words to his feeling of separation to the rest of the United States. The structure of “Superman and Me”, helps the reader understand the situation of Alexie. Reading was the superhero of his childhood. It helped Alexie feel more apart of the society around him and to numb the isolation of poverty and living on a reservation.
Questions:
1.) What is this paragraph about?
In this paragraph I try to explain the metaphors in Sherman Alexie’s essay. I also state that the structure helps the reader understand Alexie’s essay for start to finish.
2.) What is the purpose of this paragraph?
The purpose of this paragraph is dissect and explain the main metaphor in this essay. That metaphor is the paragraphs of his life. Alexie stated, “I began to think of everything in terms of paragraphs.” Everything in his life has a purpose. In my opinion Alexie is suggesting that even though his reservation is separated from everything else. It still serves as a part in the United States.
3.) As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose?
I believe my paragraph does fulfill its purpose. I also think that quotes will help reinforce this paragraph.
4.) What questions might a reader have about this paragraph as it is currently written?
Can the writer go more in depth on explaining the core metaphor of Sherman Alexie’s essay? Should there be quotes to back up what is said in this essay? Why does this paragraph is written like the author is unsure of their opinion on Alexie’s essay?
Re-write:
The core metaphor of Alexie’s essay is about paragraphs. Paragraphs serve as a separate units but they still have something in common with each other. Alexie stated that “each family member existed as separate paragraphs but still had genetics and common experiences to link us.” Alexie grew up on the Spokane Indian Reservation in poverty and had limited resources. Through that all Alexie was able to bring himself out of that situation. The metaphor about paragraphs is a perfect example of that. When Alexie was learning to read he understood very little about paragraphs. Alexie reflected on that moment by saying,” I didn’t have the vocabulary to say “paragraph”, but I realized that a paragraph was a fence that held words. They had some specific reason for being inside the same fence.” That metaphor allows the reader to understand even through all the set backs in Alexie’s life he was able to come out of that situation.
Adia,
I’m very impressed with your revision of the original paragraph and with your very thoughtful and insightful analysis of the paragraph in your answers to the questions about the paragraph. Your answers to questions #2 and #4 really stand out.
Here is a link to my comments about your GA4 post: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eVX9OqbJsebw-xXEYFXMiVTy87HL5rV32c2t0gn8QWE/edit?usp=sharing
Thank you Professor Rodgers. When I clicked on the link I was not able too view your comments. I will go to the library and see if it shows up.
Adia, I don’t think my comments were included in this document. Were you able to access the document? If so, let me know, and I’ll make sure that my comments get added to it. Thanks!
Adia, I checked the document and the comments are there. Could you try one more time? If you don’t see them, please come talk to me after our next class and we’ll pull up the document together and see if we can get to the bottom of this mystery regarding gdocs and comments.
All best,
Prof. Rodgers
The essay Superman and Me by Sherman Alexie is about how the author learns reading from a Superman comic book. His father loves to read all kinds of books, so he made a few bookshelves and filled them with book. This influences Alexie so he likes reading too. He is an Indian boy living in reservation. When he is reading, he doesn’t understand all the words in comic book but he can imagine the story in his mind and realizes what is happening with superman. After he realizes what a paragraph is, he thinks everything is a paragraph, such as family
Questions:
1.) What is this paragraph about?
This paragraph is about how Sherman Alexie learns to read when he is young, and why he likes to read.
2.) What is the purpose of this paragraph?
This is a summary of “Superman and Me” that tells the readers what will the essay be about, and catches the readers’ attention.
3.) As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose?
I think this paragraph does fulfill its purpose. This paragraph introduces how a little boy learns to reading in a special way, and I believe that it is an interesting point that attracts the readers to continue reading.
4.) What questions might a reader have about this paragraph as it is currently written?
What is a reservation? It’s a big effect if someone who lives in there?
Re-write:
The essay “Superman and Me” by Sherman Alexie is about how the author learns to read from a Superman comic book. His father loves to read all kinds of books, so he makes a few bookshelves and fills them with books. This influences Alexie so he likes to read too. He is an Indian boy who lives in Indian Reservation, and many outsiders discriminates the residents there. When he is reading comic books, he doesn’t understand all the words in them. However he can imagine the story in his mind and realizes what is happening with superman. After he realizes what a paragraph is, he thinks everything is a paragraph form, such as the family.
Ngong Ping, This is a good revision that with some more work will be an ever better one! I say this because in answer to one of the questions, you write,”This paragraph introduces how a little boy learns to reading in a special way, and I believe that it is an interesting point that attracts the readers to continue reading.” I would agree! But I think to make that really clear to your reader, you need to revise the topic sentence of this paragraph to make it clear that this paragraph and the essay is not just about Alexie learning to read from a Superman comic book, but about more than that. What was involved in Alexie’s reading education? Was it just reading comic books or was it more than that?
1. What is this paragraph about? Its the introduction paragraph of my essay that gives you a run through of what I’ll be focusing on.
2. What was the purpose? The purpose of this paragraph is to give the reader insight to what my essay covers from Alexies narrative essay. It makes them understand what they are going to read into more detail.
3.As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose? I feel like the paragraph does fulfill its purpose simply because its main focus was to describe how he finds his way in reading and what it he gained from readings- paragraphs.The only thing is I feel like I mix placed the order it was written that made it unclear.
Original:
In the essay “Superman and Me,” Sherman Alexie tells us about how he learned to read on his own. He came to see by using his observations from the illustrations, as his own reading tactic. Alexie grew up with his father who had a devotion for books which lead into him having his very own. He soon accomplished understanding how paragraphs work, which further lead into teaching himself to read.
Revised: In the essay “Superman and Me,” Sherman Alexie talks about his experience on how he taught himself to read. He grew up with a father who had a devotion towards books, which soon led to his very own. Alexie used what he knew-through observation; gathered what he saw from the illustrations and put it into words. He soon accomplished understanding how to read to understanding how paragraphs worked. He was a little boy on the reserve that gained to read at such a young age and viewed everything in the world as being its own paragraph.
Original:
“Superman and Me,” which is an essay written in the first person, is a story of how reading and writing had a profound affect on the author’s life. The sentences are extremely descriptive and effective. This helps the reader to visualize the image Alexie is trying to paint. The paragraphs are reminiscent of mini stories, aiding in the painting of a picture for the reader. The tone of the essay seems to be somewhat zealous in regards to the author’s love for literature.
Questions:
1.) What is this paragraph about?
This paragraph is about Sherman Alexie’s personal narrative.
2.) What is the purpose of this paragraph?
The purpose of this paragraph is to explain the details, such as tone, of the personal narrative.
3.) As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose?
I think this paragraph effectively fulfills its purpose. This paragraph discusses the components of Alexie’s essay such as sentences, narrative modes. and tone.
4.) What questions might a reader have about this paragraph as it is currently written?
What type of essay did the author write? Why did the author use the literary elements mentioned?
Revised:
“Superman and Me”, an essay written in first person, is a personal narrative about the affect reading and writing had on Alexie’s life. The sentences, which he recognized as “words that worked together for a common purpose”, serves as a method for incorporating different literary techniques. He uses techniques such as imagery and repetition to evoke emotions in the reader. The paragraphs, “fences that held words”, worked together to form a story. First, Alexie started by describing his childhood, then he shared the memory of recognizing paragraphs and sentences, lastly, he spoke about how learning to read/write affected his life. The tone of the essay changed throughout the narrative. It started off as sad when the author spoke of his childhood, however, it took a turn for the best as the essay progressed. The tone went from sad to optimistic and inspiring as Alexie concluded his essay with a current status of reading/writing in regards to his life. The thought that went into each sentence and paragraph of “Superman and Me” is what makes it so relatable and thought-evoking.
Thanks, Cordeelia! This revised paragraph is much meatier than the original. I like how you have expanded it and added depth to your observations.
Original: This essay made me feel like a young boy again. Just like Alexie would pick up a book at a young age, I would pick up paper and a pencil and start drawing. We were both introduced to something we love at a young age. This is why I enjoyed reading his essay because I can relate to him in some ways. I noticed how important it is being introduced to something positive at a young age. Growing up, Alexie was exposed to books and even though he could not read at first, he picked up comic books and looked at the pictures. Alexie was smart enough to imagine what the characters would say due to the actions of the pictures. It is also interesting how Alexie saw his life in paragraphs. Everything from where he lived, to the number of family members he had was categorized in paragraph form. This is not just an example of active reading, but a whole new step into living a life of book. Alexie communicates with his audience very well by introducing his love for reading at a young age and sharing his life of growing up with books. The title makes sense because his love in books started with a Superman comic book.
This paragraph is about how i can relate to the authors childhood. Learning at a young age is very important. This paragraph talks about the many similarities of us as being kids and loving to learn something at a young age. Some questions people might have about this paragraph is “why do you feel that there is a need to share your own childhood experiences when talking about the authors essay?”
New: Alexie’s essay takes me back to my own childhood days. We were both curious kids and always felt like we needed to learn something new. Alexie would pick up a book at a young age and I would pick up paper and a pencil because i wanted to learn how to draw. We were both introduced to something we love at a young age. This is why I enjoyed reading his essay because I can relate to his childhood in so many ways. I noticed how important it is being introduced to something positive at a young age. As kids we grow up being curious and always wanting to do new things. Growing up, Alexie was exposed to books and even though he could not read at first, he picked up comic books and looked at the pictures. Alexie was smart enough to imagine what the characters would say due to the actions of the pictures. Alexie saw his life differently and organized it like paragraphs in an essay. Everything from where he lived, to the number of family members he had was organized in his mind. This is not just an example of active reading, but a whole new step into living a life of a book. Alexie communicates with his audience very well by introducing his love for reading at a young age and sharing his life of growing up with books. The title makes sense because his love in books started with a Superman comic book.
Original:
n last paragraph of essay, Alexie shifts from first person to third person perspective, to
tell readers about his special talent and passion for reading, how he quickly learned to
read on his own, but also to express his pain of not being able to get the recognition he
thinks he deserved, this shift effects the reader as if they know the author and his story
and to feel empathetic or supportive towards him.
1. What is this paragraph about
The paragraph is about how author is so proud of his passion and ability to learn how to read so quick, but not getting the fame he thinks he deserves for it.
2. What is the purpose of this paragraph
The purpose of this paragraph is to explain and give readers the feel of what Alexie Sherman is really putting out there with his story, that how accomplishing something on your own from scratch can hold such great importance
3. As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose?
I think the paragraph does fulfill its purpose, the paragraph describes Alexie Sherman’s special skills you may want to say? That how as a little child he quickly adapted skills to read and how he wishes he had more recognition for it
4. What questions might a reader have about this paragraph as it is currently written?
Why is Alexie so much concerned about more and more recognition?
Rewritten:
In last paragraph of his essay Alexie Sherman switches from first person to third person perspective, to explain his passion for reading and his dedication as a young child how quickly he adapted from reading comics of superman, Alexie is trying to give people the feel of how he feels when he’s telling his story. The pride he holds to be able to read at such young age just from comic books, but not getting the attention he seeks from people for what he has accomplished. Which upsets him and through his story in third person perspective Alexie tries to gain the recognition he thinks he deserves.
I think the purpose of this essay was to show how powerful yet easy reading can actually be. Alexie is trying to tell the reader that no matter what gets put in your way, people will always find a way to learn to read. Alexie was a 3-year-old poor Indian boy living on a reservation yet he still managed to understand how paragraphs worked by just simply looking at them and applying them to real life. He managed to compare paragraphs to his family, saying that his family was an essay consisting of 7 paragraphs (each member in his family). Reading opened a whole new world to Alexie and now he’s a famous writer. Reading one of the most powerful yet simple tools you’ll ever learn to use.
This paragraph is about the meaning of Sherman Alexies essay.
The purpose of this paragraph is to analyze and let the reader what I think the main purpose essay is about.
As written, I think the paragraph does fulfills its purpose because it states and explains what and why I think the essay means.
A reader might ask to explain how Alexie viewed his family as paragraphs and how that helped him under them.
The purpose of this essay was to show how powerful yet easy reading can be. Alexie is trying to tell us, the reader, that no matter what gets in your way or whatever disadvantages you have, you will always be able to learn to read. Alexie was just a poor 3-year-old Indian boy living on a reservation yet he still learned how to read. He managed to understand paragraphs by comparing them to his family, one paragraph being a person and his family being one essay. Reading opened a whole new world to him. Reading is so simple yet so powerful.
ORGINAL:
School in the Netherlands is very focussed on writing and learning how to write legibly. Every student going from first to second grade therefore has close to the exact same handwriting. We wrote in script and script only, this was the way to write until you went to high school and developed your own style. But as much as I loved writing, reading never really caught my attention like writing did. It is ironic since reading would not be without writing. I used to always say that I would rather write a book than read one. But I realized that reading really is important as a functional human being in this society.
1) This paragraph is about how I learned how to write and how I loved writing, but never really liked reading in the same way I did writing.
2) The purpose of this paragraph is merely to show the connection between writing and reading that existed in my younger days. I was keen on the process of writing but hated wasting time reading a book, since I did not see the importance of it.
3) I think the paragraph, especially after revision, function well to explain what I am trying to make clear.
RE-WRITTEN
School in the Netherlands is very focussed on writing and learning how to write legibly. When I was in school there we learned how to write in script, tracing letters over and over, and learning how to connect letters to make words. Every student going from first to second grade therefore has close to the exact same handwriting. Script was the only way we knew how to write and this how we wrote until we went to high school and developed a much more personal handwriting. I loved the process of writing and therefore the act of writing things, whether it was a story or boring ‘ol homework. As much as I loved writing, however, reading never really caught my attention. It is ironic since reading would not be without writing. I used to always say: “I would rather write a book than read one.” But I soon realized that reading is important for gaining crucial knowledge in this day of age.
ORIGINAL:
Alexie, first learn how to read by using the pictures that was in the book, therefore these pictures would be what described the words, throughout his exploration of reading he started to gain knowledge of paragraphs, The paragraphs in which he wrote were written by the current events that was happening when he started to find the meaning in reading and how writing is structured by using paragraphs. As he gained knowledge in reading he started to relate his life and his family with paragraphs as he mentions, “family member existed as a separate paragraph but still had genetics and common experiences to link us “the meaning of this, is that within paragraphs though they are separate they are still related and are connected. With knowing this his knowledge in writing expanded.
QUESTIONS:-what is this paragraph about? This paragraph is how Alexie started to read and how he gained his knowledge on paragraphs
-what is the purpose of this paragraph? The purpose of this paragraph is to show the reader the meaning of paragraphs in Alexie perspective.
– As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose? This paragraph does fulfill its purpose because it sums up what I’m really trying to portray which is how Alexie gain knowledge in writing by learning what paragraphs are.
RE-WRITE:
Alexie, first learned how to read by using the pictures that were in the book, therefore these pictures would be what described the words. Throughout his exploration of reading he started to gain knowledge of paragraphs. The paragraphs in which he wrote were written by the current events that were happening when he started to find the meaning in reading. Not only did he found the purposes in reading but as in the structure in which paragraphs are formed. As he learned how to read and realized the different forms of writing and the meaning of paragraphs. Alexie would relate his family members to paragraphs to show how different they are but somehow still related. As Alexie mentioned “family member existed as a separate paragraph but still had genetics and common experiences to link us “the meaning of this is that within paragraphs though they are separate they are still related and are connected. In addition he realized that paragraphs are common but have different purposes. With knowing this his knowledge in writing expanded.
ORIGINAL:
Alexie, first learn how to read by using the pictures that was in the book, therefore these pictures would be what described the words, throughout his exploration of reading he started to gain knowledge of paragraphs, The paragraphs in which he wrote were written by the current events that was happening when he started to find the meaning in reading and how writing is structured by using paragraphs. As he gained knowledge in reading he started to relate his life and his family with paragraphs as he mentions, “family member existed as a separate paragraph but still had genetics and common experiences to link us “the meaning of this, is that within paragraphs though they are separate they are still related and are connected. With knowing this his knowledge in writing expanded.
QUESTIONS:-what is this paragraph about? This paragraph is how Alexie started to read and how he gained his knowledge on paragraphs
-what is the purpose of this paragraph? The purpose of this paragraph is to show the reader the meaning of paragraphs in Alexie perspective.
– As written, how well does this paragraph fulfill its purpose? This paragraph does fulfill its purpose because it sums up what I’m really trying to portray which is how Alexie gain knowledge in writing by learning what paragraphs are.
RE-WRITE:
Alexie, first learned how to read by using the pictures that were in the book, therefore these pictures would be what described the words. Throughout his exploration of reading he started to gain knowledge of paragraphs. The paragraphs in which he wrote were written by the current events that were happening when he started to find the meaning in reading. Not only did he found the purposes in reading but as in the structure in which paragraphs are formed. As he learned how to read and realized the different forms of writing and the meaning of paragraphs. Alexie would relate his family members to paragraphs to show how different they are but somehow still related. As Alexie mentioned “family member existed as a separate paragraph but still had genetics and common experiences to link us “the meaning of this is that within paragraphs though they are separate they are still related and are connected. In addition he realized that paragraphs are common but have different purposes. With knowing this his knowledge in writing expanded.