Diary Excerpt_Week 1_Prof. S. (please comment)

MARCH 25, 2020 – CARROLL GARDENS, BROOKLYN, NEW YORK CITY

1:00PM

I wanted to be at my computer and on OpenLab this morning at 8:30, but I didn’t sleep well last night because I was worried. I read the NYTIMES and saw about a thousand emails from school administration, and I got confused and upset. I got back to bed around 5:45AM.

My brother is sending me inflamed emails and texts, telling me that I must get out of NYC and live in a hotel for 14 days someplace near him, and blaming me for allowing my son to live in NYC (as if there was any other choice I had. His school closed).

I have weird habits. I don’t put groceries away right away. I sort of let them sit for a bit (24 hours or more), because I am afraid of touching them when I come back from the supermarket. I still haven’t put my son’s laundry away that he brought from college. that’s it, below.

I haven’t been hoarding — just going out every day or two for my/our basic needs. What do I do if I buy eggs? I have to put them in the fridge. I still buy fresh produce, and I wonder if this is wrong somehow.

Now that the reports are out that over 30,000 people in New York State, I am getting upset about hula hooping. It’s what I like to do every day. I stand by myself. I don’t go near people in the park (it is an ugly park, with only a baseball diamond on an old cement and asphalt surface. No grass, anywhere). Well the hula hoop touches the ground, and I pick it up. It touches my jacket. I wear cloth gloves while I hula hoop. How safe can I be? I feel like it was wrong of me to do it. Now I am scared of anything. I don’t have alcohol or Clorox wipes. I tried to buy them, but no place had them, and Amazon said it couldn’t deliver before May if I ordered them.

(These are new hoops I haven’t used yet, made for me this week. They are still sitting outside the door.)

My Pastimes/skills/ and this Pandemic Season

I used to go to a dance session/cypher every week. Now that’s stopped. I was hoping to perfect my moves during this time. I practice a form of dance called “popping” or “animation.” People group it with hip-hop, and yes, it comes from a similar tree, but its philosophy is different. During the first week of my sheltering it gave me a lot of comfort. “My moves can get nice!,” I thought to myself. “Now, I will practice — and even San Jose Strut better.” (That syle is hard. I totally respect it. It is kind of a sub-set of popping…but different. The west coast has proprietary dibs on it, but I have followed a few people I really respect in that style, and have even met one: Money B. and have studied a bit with another: Africano.)

This is a typical night at my popping session that I recorded on my iPhone a while ago:

Maybe this give you an idea of what it’s like. My heart is heavy right now, to be honest, and I don’t feel like practicing.

This is Africano demonstrating San Jose Strutting at a workshop I did a couple of years ago, also recorded on my iPhone:

Is there hope? I want to get back to this. I need to. I think that skills and stuff that makes us feel valid and that life is purposeful are even more important right now.

Now I gotta go. I wish it wasn’t raining.