– Textual Analysis of a Poem essay – Draft #1

Marijo Alves

10-15-14

English 1101 D309

Assignment Textual Evidence

Addicted

“It’s like I can’t think without you interrupting me, in my thoughts in my dreams you’ve taken over me, it’s like I’m not me.”  The song “Addicted” written by Kelly Clarkson is deep, she wants the readers to understand that she is depressed, lost and lonely and it’s okay to feel that way if it’s your only way out of your pain.   The song gives off a lost, depressed and lonely feeling. In Kelly Clarkson’s song it connects to some drama that she had in her life.  She fell in love with her manager Brandon Blackstock.  She wanted to be with him but for the six years that she had known him he was already married to another woman and had a child with this other woman.  She felt as if she wasn’t thinking for herself dealing with this man but the fact that she fell in love her feelings had the best of her decisions. The song addicted means and addictions that has full control over your life, the decisions you make, your thoughts, your freedom the change in your personality to satisfy the one the that allows you to feel alive and that is the same drug that caused the feeling of being lost, lonely and depressed.

Eventually throughout all of these dark confused feelings she ended up with this man.  She is now engaged to him and has a child for him. Which leads up to her trying to show the readers it’s alright to feel the way she expressed in the song because if your drug it’s your only way out, if it happens to be your addiction it must be your happiness even though you still do not feel like yourself.  Without it you feel like you’re not yourself. It took all of these dark emotions she was going through to finally get what she wanted. “I’m hooked on you, I need a fix, I can’t take it, just one more hit, and I promise I can deal with it.”  In this song, Kelly appears to be tunnel vision when it comes to this man “her drug” but he seems to be no good for her but she cannot seem to get away from him. No matter what happens she cannot give up on him.

“It’s like I’m lost, It’s like I’m giving up slowly, It’s like you’re a ghost that’s haunting me, Leave me alone and I know these voices in my head are mine alone and I know I’ll never change my ways If I don’t give you up now.”  These lines show that Kelly Clarkson is lost she doesn’t know whether to give this man up or to continue. She’s lost in her own emotion she’s close on letting go but that doesn’t seem to happen. If anyone was to be in a situation like this feeling lost and the one way they feel they can feel a whole again is by running to the so called drug then that is what they will do just to feel safe.  Kelly wanted to stop but it seems almost impossible.  She constantly repeats “it’s like”, meaning she doesn’t have a complete thought of what she wants.

“It’s like I’m stuck, it’s like I’m running from you all the time and I know I let you have all the power, it’s like the only company I seek is misery all around.” Kelly is in a depressing mode.  She seeks no other company than misery.  She has no freedom, it’s almost as if she is running around in a circle and ending up in the same place.  This man that she fell in love with is with another woman has a family for this woman as well.  This leaves Kelly in a depressing stage but he does not give her a reason to leave. She refers to him as a drug, ghost, and a leech. A drug she is addicted to a ghost haunting her and leech sucking the life from her.

“It’s like I can’t think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You’ve taken over me It’s like I’m not me It’s like I’m not me.”  Every time she decides to get away he interrupts her thoughts.  The whole time this addiction was taking place she was at a lonely stage.  Nobody but yourself can bring you out of that state of mind.  Eventually she had to make herself feel less alone. “I’m hooked on you I need a fix I can’t take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I’ll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that’s it Just a little bit more to get me through this.”  It seemed like the only way she was able to get away from the lonesome and depressing feeling she was feeling was to continue her addiction she never stayed away from him.  This was able to cure her in a way.  Addiction is in the state of mind, when you can’t stop you don’t want to and when you want to stop you can’t. Being addicted to something or someone can happen to anyone especially when you’re depressed, lost and lonely. When you’re depressed you do whatever keeps you happy whether it’s eating ice cream, cake or pizza all day even a drug, and that drug can be anything in this case it happens to be the man she wants to be happy with.   As a reader reading this going through certain emotions seeing that you are not the only person who ever felt a certain way makes you feel less alone, less lost, less lonely.

You know it’s not good for you and you can put on unwanted weight but you do it anyway because it helps you through your depression, same thing with a person, that one person can be terrible for you but you can’t help but be around that person they help you get through your depression.  Being lost not know what to do or who to turn to also leaves you to becoming addicted.  You need something to put you back on the right path, so you continue to do it.  Loneliness is the worst of all.  When you are lonely anything that comes your way to make you feel like someone is there for you, you will do it and if it happens often it becomes an addiction.

Addiction is normal when you are depressed, lost or lonely.  Just like Kelly found, there is such thing called a cure.  Even though in the end she says “It’s like I’m not me.”  That is because she is basing all her decisions off of her emotions at that very moment.  Kelly was facing a dilemma and her addiction happened to be the cure. Throughout the whole song there was a repetition of the words “You” and “Me” this symbolizes the world being shut out nothing else matters but these two individuals.

Kelly doesn’t only speak for herself, she speaks for whoever can relate to this situation.  High School females or males or anyone who has less experience when it comes to relationships tend to end up in an addicting phase. You tend to change your personality for the drug you strongly desire.  Kelly isn’t the only one who suffers from such love.  Many females and males can relate to this song.

The song addicted means and addictions that has full control over your life, the decisions you make, your thoughts, your freedom the change in your personality to satisfy the one the that allows you to feel alive and that is the same drug that caused the feeling of being lost, lonely and depressed.

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