“The older you get, the more you disappoint me. You don’t care about anyone else but yourself. What happened to my little girl?”
These were the words my mom said to me with pure disappointment in her face. At that moment, the way she frowned upon me and looked down to the floor hurt me more than the actual words she was saying to me. I wasn’t mad at her, I understood she was just a mother that wanted the best for her child. As she stormed off to her room that day instead of being understanding I just wanted to feel her support and validation more than anything. During my senior year of high school, I wanted to do it all from AP classes, working full time while also interning at a contracting company. I knew I would need to sacrifice a lot of my time but never did I think it would come between my relationship with my mom.
My entire life my mom has told me, “education always Bri.” It’s stayed engraved in my head but as I kept getting older I knew I needed to start having other responsibilities of my own. While I was balancing everything in my life I felt content with myself, which was a new feel for me. I almost felt proud of myself until my mom expressed her doubts about how I’m able to handle everything all at once. I made sure to stay consistent with my education despite the new responsibilities I had. One night, she stormed into my room as I was getting ready for bed and she told me I couldn’t work or participate in my internship anymore because I was never home anymore and she wasn’t sure I was being honest with her about what I had been doing to keep myself busy.
I felt an immense confusion because in my head I had been doing everything for her. I wanted her to be proud of me and I needed her validation. That was the night I knew she saw my doings as negativity instead of an achievement. As much as I wanted to obey her, I wanted to prove myself to not only her but to myself so I kept going. My mom and I are in a much better place in our relationship now and I hold no resentment because I know the hardships I faced shapes me today.
Very inspiring how no matter the words of negativity pointed in your direction you found a way to fight through and come out ontop of the game. Looking at your story it shows that you stayed strong and were not trying to prove anything to anyone but yourself. The negativity is only words and words are just sounds that come out of ones mouth, we can choose to ignore them or to use them for our own better good. Motivation is something we lack the most of now, when we use the negative stuff that impact our daily lives to motivate us it burns brighter then any fire, nothing can extinguishthe fire.
This demonstrates your strength and resolve, particularly in handling a trying circumstance with your mother while juggling everything during your final year. You were balancing a lot of AP classes, employment, and an internship, but you never wavered from your objectives. You persevered and showed that you could handle everything, even though your mother didn’t see things the way you had hoped at the time. It’s fantastic that you can look back on this event with no bitterness and recognize how it shaped who you are now.
This is very good Briana. I can see the seed of a story.
First — Letâs try to figure out what is the main transformative event here. In a single sentence what could this be about? Could this become a larger story about how your relationship with your mom changed in your high school stressful year of juggling responsibilities — and the conflict between her idea of what you needed to do with your educational life and what you knew YOU NEEDED to do with your own educational life. AND THEN â how you came to a better understanding and better relationship with your mom, involving her coming to respect your choices. YOU tell me if I got it â because only you really know. But I see something that you could work with here in this HW.
THEN CSD needed concrete specific details.
âAt that momentâ WHERE did this conversation happen?
Can you paint a full picture of this night when she came to your room as you were getting ready for bedâŚyour pjs, your tiredness from full day of school and internship-workâŚAND a few more of the words back and forth. â the dialogue. NEED TO CLARIFY: was she mad that you were not at home much anymore? Was she suspecting that you were doing something other than the internship? Why the distrust? And HOW did this distrust make you feel? — âconfusedâ â
THEN you jump toâ Mom and I are in a much better placeâ â SO if you choose this HW to develop further, you need a few of the events that happened in this jump â did you stay with the internship and hide that you were staying at work? How did that affect your relationship with Mom? ALSO HOW di dyou juggle so much responsibility? The HW, the Aps, WHAT was a typical day like for you with job after school? BUT WHY was it worth it â WHAT were you learning on the job?
Think of the events that would lead your story forward. We will work on outlines of events for a story line.
GOOD START here Bri!
BTW Is your major construction management? That would make sense with the internship you mention here. That would be part of your story here. Your internship at a contracting company must give you confidence that the choice of major here at CTech is the right choice for you. ANd your mom would want you to be confidant in your major choice. This would show her respect for your choices, right?