My middle school’s library saved me.
As someone who’d rather eat lunch there than the cafeteria itself, I’d definitely consider the place of genres of all kinds cozier than the noisy and messy ambience of anywhere else. Already sprouting a love for words and pictures in general from since childhood, I basically sought refuge in books from 4th-8th grade. And while I did move schools every couple of years, one thing stayed with me-the desire to be immersed.
Immersed into what, exactly? The feeling of belonging. While I didn’t feel particularly stressed with the workload during this time period, I did feel like something was missing from my life. A kind of apathy, a dull spot in my body. It seemed as though everybody was in their own tightly-knit friend groups, and/or had hobbies that wove them even closer. I caught myself staring at them often, having to actively stop myself before looking like a weirdo. I wasn’t one to try and force myself into any of said groups, however it did take a toll on me. I’d call it something in between envy or a lack of understanding. Something that took me forever to decipher, no matter how many times I took a bathroom pass and instead wandered the halls with it.
Despite the emotional and/or struggles I faced, I honestly just myself straying away from people in general. Getting frustrated at losing grade-wide privileges, like going to the park and not being able to watch movies in class because of a group made my blood boil as well. Although it may sound selfish, I wanted something for myself-or at least the quiet students who don’t do anything wrong.
That’s when I found it-the 4th floor library. Rows among rows of books, silence, a couple of windows that offered soft light and that oddly comforting smell of old paper. To me and any other shy and nerdy person, this was artificial heaven. Having somehow convinced the librarian to bring my lunch under the promise that I wouldn’t be too loud, I had officially found my personal sanctuary from the dreadful chaos of the average middle-schooler’s life. Whether it be doing homework, listening to music, or actually checking out way more books than I should’ve been allowed, I found a split in the middle. A way to deal with this feeling. With the amount of art around me, I did feel as though I found a solution to the problem within my inner mind. With the opportunity to read 4-5 days a week for however long my lunch period was, I was able to change my mindset on school and not rush into the era of wanting to “fit-in” immediately. My love for books and illustration only strengthened as I even found myself doing writing and drawing outside of school time, too.
As someone whoâd rather eat lunch there [WHERE? Are you purposefully building suspense so that reader doesnât know where this special place is? Suggestion, could you say: in a place with books] than the cafeteria itself, Iâd definitely consider the place of genres of all kinds cozier than the noisy and messy ambience of anywhere else. Already sprouting a love for words and pictures in general from since childhood, I basically sought refuge in books from 4th-8th grade. And while I did move schools every couple of years, one thing stayed with me-the desire to be immersed.
Immersed into what, exactly? The feeling of belonging [ â which I didnât feel I did at my school SUGGESTION] While I didnât feel particularly stressed with the workload during this time period [WHAT grade wereyou in? WHAT age when you first discovered that the library was a special place], I did feel like something was missing from my life. A kind of apathy, a dull spot in my body. It seemed as though everybody was in their own tightly-knit friend groups, and/or had hobbies that wove them even closer. I caught myself staring at them [WHO?] often, having to actively stop myself before looking like a weirdo. I wasnât one to try and force myself into any of said groups, however it did take a toll on me. Iâd call it something in between envy or a lack of understanding. Something that took me forever to decipher, no matter how many times I took a bathroom pass and instead wandered the halls with it. [LOVE THIS PARAGRAPH â LOVE your CSD of being a loner and not fitting in]
Despite the emotional and/or struggles I faced, I honestly just myself [word missing?] straying away from people in general. Getting frustrated at losing grade-wide privileges, like going to the park and not being able to watch movies in class because of a group [need CSD need clarity] made my blood boil as well. Although it may sound selfish, I wanted something for myself-or at least the quiet students [unclear â you wanted quiet students? You wanted to be a quiet student?] who donât do anything wrong. [not clear here]
Thatâs when I found it-the 4th floor library. Rows among rows of books, silence, a couple of windows that offered soft light and that oddly comforting smell of old paper. [great CSD] To me and any other shy and nerdy person, this was [artificial â delete just say heaven] heaven. Having somehow convinced the librarian to [allow me to] bring my lunch under the promise that I wouldnât be too loud, I had officially found my personal sanctuary from the dreadful chaos of the average middle-schoolerâs life. Whether it be doing homework, listening to music, or actually checking out way more books than I shouldâve been allowed, I found a split in the middle. A way to deal with this feeling. With the amount of art around me, I did feel as though I found a solution to the problem within my inner mind. With the opportunity to read 4-5 days a week for however long my lunch period was, I was able to change my mindset on school and not rush into the era of wanting to âfit-inâ immediately. My love for books and illustration only strengthened as I even found myself doing writing and drawing outside of school time, too.
I love this short writing about finding the library! I love your focus on library and books because the library was a refuge for me too!
NOW â what are the next events that will move your story forward?
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What events show that the library saved you? Did you discover in the library: A special librarian – friend? A special book? A special friend? A club that met there? An announcement that changed your life? Was the library a meeting place for others like you?
I am curious to see where you go next with this piece of writing!
Hi Jazmyn,
I really enjoyed reading your reflection on how the 4th-floor library became your sanctuary during middle school. Your description of the library as a âpersonal sanctuaryâ really stood out to me, and I can relate to finding comfort in quieter, creative spaces. Itâs interesting how you touched on the sense of feeling like an outsider, especially when you mentioned staring at other groups and trying to avoid looking like a âweirdo.â That feeling is so real for many people during middle school, and I think it would be interesting to hear more about how that shaped your friendships or social life outside of the library. One part I was curious about is when you described the âsplit in the middleâ that you found by being in the library. Do you mean it helped you manage the pressures of school and social life at the same time? If so, Iâd love to hear more about how you balanced the two or if that refuge helped you gain confidence in other areas.