After Covid I started my high school classes as a sophomore. It was a huge burgundy and cream building with 8 floors, each floor looked old and more towards the 90s era. They had about 8 schools inside the building with crowed hall ways and students from different ethnicities. As I enter my school through the first floor where they had a parking lot there was a long strip to go inside with students outside waiting for book bags to be checked. Their were 7 security guards with the place filled with metal detectors and x ray machines.
My first period class was a Spanish class the teacher name was Ms. Nasser. The room was filled with colorful flags from all types of cultures from Jamaica to putto Rico to Polish. I never made it to her class because of my friends that are influencing me to smoke majiruana. She always told me to come to class with a look of disappointment. I never listened and kept going about my day with not even a spec of emotion on my face. Their came to a point where I had came to her class at 8:59 am. Everyone was leaving to the sound of the bells as the chairs gave an unease feeling. She spoke to me about me grades on how I’m failing. she then continued on how I smell like marijuana. I didn’t pay any attention to it I put my black hoodie on and left. As I was leaving I looked at my self in the mirror with a shattered pieces. I realized she was the first teacher that actually cared about my health and wanted me to succeed.
This was a very heart warming story. why do you think this teacher was so caring.
MY story about __________. FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS!
Lots of good details here!
After Covid I started my high school classes as a sophomore. It was a huge burgundy and cream building with 8 floors, each floor looked old and more towards the 90s era. They had about 8 schools inside the building with crowed hall ways and students from different ethnicities. As I enter my school through the first floor where they had a parking lot there was a long strip to go inside with students outside waiting for book bags to be checked. Their were 7 security guards with the place filled with metal detectors and x ray machines.
My first period class was a Spanish class the teacher name was Ms. Nasser. The room was filled with colorful flags from all types of cultures from Jamaica to putto [Puerto] Rico to Polish. I never made it to her class because of my friends that are influencing me to smoke majiruana. She always told me to come to class with a look of disappointment. I never listened and kept going about my day with not even a spec [speck] of emotion on my face. Their [there] came to a point where I had came [had come] to her class at 8:59 am. Everyone was leaving to the sound of the bells as the chairs gave [me] an unease [uneasy] feeling.
[SHOW me this conversation/dialogue back and forth] She spoke to me about me grades on how I’m failing. she then continued on how I smell like marijuana. I didn’t pay any attention to it I put my black hoodie on and left.
As I was leaving I looked at my self in the mirror with a shattered pieces. [nice description here – anything more?] I realized she was the first teacher that actually cared about my health and wanted me to succeed.
OK – NOW WHAT will be the next scenes/events that move your story forward?
Is this a story about how Ms. Nasser saved you? Reach back into your memory for scenes/events showing what a bad place you were in and for scenes showing how Ms. Nasser “cared” about your health – [WHAT do you mean health? Was she instrumental in your quitting pot?] — or showing how Ms. Nasser cared about YOU.
Look at Student Essay by Adrian Coree in Education Narrative Resources page (next to Unit One Assignment)
Look at What Ms. Bailey Taught Me in AP History (on Readings page scroll down to Unit One Ed Narrative — it’s the first one there)
Wow, Henly, this was a very heartwarming story. I like how you put very good concrete specific details in the first paragraph. Did you end up starting to go to her classes after realizing she cared about your health? Or did you realize it after when you got older? Do you plan on meeting her in the future to thank her? Can’t wait to see the finished version of the story!
This story is really sweet and inspiring. I like you the way you’re able to put us in the scene with all the details about the place, like when and where. What happened after, because it seems like a really interesting climax? Ms. Nasser sounds like a really kind person, like you said. I’m glad she was able to give you a change of heart about education.