Jonathan Valencia
May 17, 2016
ENG 1121- D465
Assignment: 7 points of peer review
Partner: My own essay
- Opener – “You, who are so-called illegal aliens, must know that no human being is illegal. That is a contradiction in terms. Human beings can be beautiful or more beautiful, they can be fat or skinny, they can be right or wrong, but illegal? How can a human being be illegal?”
- Thesis w/3 subtopic – There are a lot of immigrants from various countries men, women, and children trying to make a better life for themselves but are always worrying about being deported and causes the separation of families, over populated camps, and a bigger issue is deporting children.
- 3-subtopic paragraph –¶1 separation of families, ¶2 over populated camps, and ¶3 deporting children.
- Topic sentences –¶ 1 – Many families daily are being separated from their love ones due to having an illegal immigrant status. , ¶ 2 – Shockingly immigration facilities are overpopulated and corrupted. Immigrants inside the facilities have their rights taken away due to them not being legal. , ¶ 3 – Sadly children of all ages are being deported back to their countries due to them not being legal
- Transitions – Transitions are use in the first sentences of each body paragraph of each subtopic and sub subtopic
- Grammar Conventions – Missing word in between and grammar mistakes
- Conclusion w/ thesis restated and lead-out – Restates thesis sentence and brief summary of the entire essay
