Jonathan Valencia
February 28, 2016
ENG 1121- D465
Assignment: 7 points of peer review
Partner: Farjana Shati
- Opener – “Failure is the pillar of success” my physics teacher Mr. Dabashish told to me during my freshman year in high school.
- Thesis w/3 subtopic – Stepping out of my confront zone was challenging and a constant struggle, especially as an introvert with lack of experience in group work or presentation in my life entire life last spring that was a frightening and heartbreaking experience however time and motivation has helped me to overcome my fear of standing in the spot light.
- 3-subtopic paragraph –¶1 group work, ¶2 frightening and heartbreaking experience, and ¶3 motivation.
- Topic sentences –¶ 1 – Certainly, I am an introvert and on top of it have lack of experience in group work and presentations. , ¶ 2 – Sadly, my presentation in geometry class last spring was terrifying and nerve – racking. , ¶ 3 – In spite of going through such a heart breaking experience I was able to over come my fear through constant motivation.
- Transitions – Transitions are use in the first sentences of each body paragraph of each subtopic.
- Grammar Conventions – Missing word between sentence for example first sentence of subtopic paragraph 1 between it and have missing I in-between. Or using word that doesn’t belong in the sentence like using have instead of had.
- Conclusion w/ thesis restated and lead-out – Restates thesis sentence and last sentence about her ideal world.
