Category: Re-Vision

Alright so you finally graduated middle school and you feel proud of yourself and you made your parents proud too . But now it’s time for the next chapter of your life high school.  This might have happen to some of you or all of you but the day after graduation you get your diploma and then you already start thinking about high school . Well before you start a new journey for the next 4 years I would say the most important thing you have to know is take responsibility of yourself . I would say also to rely on people for help but don’t rely  too much because their not always gonna be there for you so that’s why take responsibility for yourself at all times. Another thing you should know is getting involved within the community. Why is that important? it’s because when the time comes to start applying for colleges they would definitely want to say if you have done any community service basically get involved because if there are any events that they need people to help out take the opportunity so that it can go on your  transcript.  Also this is important too but if you are struggling with your academics then go to tutoring .Everyday there will be teachers that will be able to help you out in high school teachers care about you and they want you to succeed and hopefully get you back on track. Also  make friends like I stated before even though you can’t rely on them all the time for help they can help here and there along the way.

So your summer came and went and now it’s time to start your freshman year and just like all of your other fellow freshman your pretty nervous on the first as it is the starting point of your new journey in high school. To be really honest there isn’t too much to be worried about or to be nervous about as the first day is basically getting introduced to your teachers and just collecting your basic documents and your schedule. I mean  you never know you’ll probably make some new friends. I would recommend to start thinking about joining clubs in your freshman year , but you don’t have to necessarily start joining a club right away if you feel like you still want to get adjusted in high school you can join a club later on in the year or you can join in your sophomore year . I joined my club towards around April in my freshman year because I wanted to get myself adjusted in high school as well always keeping myself in check deciding when I feel like I’m ready to get involved with clubs. So for your freshman year just basically get adjusted and do well in your classes that well you will do well in the future. Also start thinking about getting involved within the community.

So you’ve gotten through your freshman now your fully adjusted in high school . Things will get  a little bit tougher as in the difficulty of classes , but you’ll get  used to it but now this year is the time to actually start getting involved within the school or the community. Or probably start thinking about your long term goals. Like whats gonna be your plan for the next two years. But for sophomore year just basically start getting involved and do well in your classes and take advantage of tutoring too. Think of it this way even though let’s just say if your doing really well in your classes I would say still go to tutoring because like I said before always keep yourself in check or maintain that status of being a good student. This year is when you take the PSAT exam you don’t really have to study , but if you want to get a head start on practicing for the real SAT exam then go ahead  , but I would say don’t worry about since you still have a whole year left so take your time.  So once june has arrived you’re almost done reviewing for the regents . Now the regents is something you definitely do not want to mess with as they are a requirement to graduate and to receive your regents diploma . So make sure you study for these tests . My tips for you is to study with your friends because they might know things that you don’t . Another tip is to take some regents practice classes as it is another way to help you prepare . Overall just know your knowledge and you’ll do just fine and don’t be nervous.

Alright so your junior is the most important year as it is the year when colleges look at your grades and of what have you been doing for the past two or three years. Always be on your game . Also this year you are taking the actually SAT exam so start studying as early as possible because in SAT anything can be on their especially math which they will test you on anything they can throw at you . One of the best methods is to take SAT classes . As I’ve taken those classes which really helped me out alot it can even help you out too as well. You can even take mock tests which are tests from previous SATS that tests you on where you stand at and what you need to improve or work on some certain english and math skills. Once that’s done all you gotta do is to pass your classes and regents. Also take the opportunity to sign up for college now classes if you do pass those classes you earn free college credits and that way you do not have to take the class in college .  Overall in your junior year do has much as you can as this is the year colleges will look at your transcript .

Now it’s finally your senior year  and to be honest it’s more relaxing as its is your last year to enjoy high school to the fullest  enjoy time with your friends and to be excited for all the upcoming senior events like prom , senior festivals , etc . But you still have to keep yourself in check as you still need to pass your classes and get your credits . Just overall have fun in high school because you can make those 4 years as memorable as you want and still work hard and maintaining good grades so that you can accepted into the colleges of your choice when you do apply for college in your senior . Also when applying don’t wait to the last min I recommend just getting it done and over with as early as possible so that you wouldn’t have to worry about it later on.  So to all new incoming freshman this what you’d expect in high school overall just do the best of your ability and you’ll make it to graduation a day to celebrate your achievements.

         Twenty percent of our population are students but they makeup hundred percent of our future. A teacher is the first person we encounter as students other than parents. We spend more than forty hours a week with teachers. So yes, it’s important what teachers think about us and what relationship we have or try to develop with them. I was blessed to build a great friendship with staff that can help me through a crazy roller coaster named high school. Mrs. Guash and Mr. Ghie was dean and guidance counselor in my high school. They were my school parents. I could always keep it a buck fifty with them and always had lots of respect for them. They both understood my story as a student and my behavior problem. They introduce to equation that I didn’t believe was helpful until this very moment. E+R=O simple solution to all my problems and the key to my stress free day.

     I struggled in history for many reasons it probably was that fact I had class the second to last period of my school day I was always tired. I was in class full kids that can care less about this class. Had a teacher that made the subject boring not interesting. Pretty much the odds were against me. I felt Mr. Bux wasn’t the greatest teachers. He found time to waste during class to check other students behavior Venus from checking them after class or letting their grade suffer. We only had 45 minutes per period we never as a class got alot done because of other students taking advantage of the teacher. He was one of those teachers that had to stop the whole class to check one student and their behavior. I mean how annoying is that when you are half tired and just want to go home. Which out of 45 minutes it takes 10 minutes for everyone to come in calm down it takes 5 minutes just for him to finish correcting students. Leave us with not a lot of time to learn new materials or even review older ones for quizzes and exams. I was always lost in class, when I told him he tries to accuse me of talking to peers about things off topic is the reason why “ i’m having trouble” which was far from the truth because I didn’t like anyone in class so why talk to them ? Mr.Buxs and I always bumped heads in class.

       This day I went to U.S History class Mr.Buxs assigns a group project gives a due date that is different from whats on pupil path. So I tell Mr. Bux “you do know that there is different due date on pupilpath then what you verbal said to the class” so he looks on pupilpath and it turns out I was correct.  Instead of apologizing for it saying its an error and warning other kids. Mr. Buxs tells me “there is no reason why I need to act so cocky and arrogant“ at this moment every student heard exactly what he said. I was put on the spot in front of the whole class embarrassed is an understatement in this case.  So I told him “ who the f**k are you talking to and how am I cocky and arrogant for helping you out.”

           “ Amaya, I’m tired of you and your outburst during class, you are distracting the whole class from learning you need to learn to have self control, if you don’t stop im calling your mom and i’m calling school safety escort you out of my class” Mr. Bux  says I reply back “what are talking about I don’t care if you call my mom im not waiting for you try to make an example out of me which is unfair.” He calls safety so they can come I told him” I’m not leaving class because today you acting like a complete d**k, just because you had a shitty day doesn’t mean you make mine one too.” When I look up at the door two safety agents and Mr. Ghie was there. It was a sense of relief because finally someone can witness this dumb stuff and not think Im making it up. He tells me “Amaya come to my office your not in any trouble we need to have a little conversation so bring your belongs please come with me.” I didn’t fight or argue with Ghie even though I was a tiny bit disappointed that Ghie didn’t put him in his place. But nevertheless I still just got up went with him the whole elevator ride down to his office I was so mad and frustrated. At myself mostly because I let him get underneath my skin, that made me so angry I missed out on my purpose for being in school which is to be present for the review. Instead I’m on a one way ticket heading to the dean’s office because of him.

          Ghie brings me into Mrs Guash office we both sit at a round table in her office. I gave them a play by play on what happened. Both of them started laughing because they knew earlier that day before I went to class I was not interested in going at all. I felt his vibe would be bad, I wasn’t there for the shenanigans he got going on because he couldn’t find a park that morning so the fact that not even 15 minutes and yes 15 minutes after the late bell rings . I’m back in her office yelling “Guacamole this teacher picked the wrong one, on the wrong day to f**K with me”  had the whole office laughing.

           Now remember that simple equation I brought up in begin watch how this dramatically changed my life. Mrs Guash looks at me and see the anger underneath the humor I had about the situation. I got so angry that I started to cry. So she asked me what is your goal when you walk in that class I said “prepare for the regents “ do you think want just happen in class helped or harmed you and your goal I said to her “no it harmed my goal. ” She then tells me teachers have upper hand of students because they are responsible for your grades. Teachers are human and make many mistakes, they are normally out number in classroom so when you call him out after his bad day of trying to find a park. You my darling is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, this doesn’t make it right . this isn’t even the time to try to argue with him since it is the last week of the marking period she follows up with another question “but you only have control of who?”  I said “ myself “ so in the event you want a positive outcome your response has to be positive right ? I agreed so do you believe in this event your response was positive or negative I said while rolling my eyes “it was obviously negative” Ghie jump in like its a teachable moment and says E+R=O. Event plus response equal outcome. So next time you are put in this situation think about your outcome, you can’t control event but you can change your response so you can get the right results and outcome you want.

            Little light bulb went off in my head and it explains a lot of the disconnect from other teachers. So that point on I made a mental note sometimes not saying anything can make you win in the event you need to respond. To wait process information on event you are not in any hurry to make a choice, weigh out your option if you pick one option over the other what is your result ? And how is it different ? Is this the result you are trying to achieve if not what are you trying to do to change your results. At that very second everything made more sense than before, I left her office with a better understanding of everything. So after that day, I promise I won’t let another teacher get up under my skin. I’m in control of my education and my life I won’t let the event control me to the point I lose focus of my goal. Since that point I never argue with any teacher when it happens I just listen, wait after class to respond. So no one is pressure to act a certain way it has worked for a while, I pass it to all my friends when I have advice to give, because it has helped me so much on my daily interacting with other people but more so teachers.

For my revision, I will be creating a brand new structure for my essay. In my original essay I described multiple situations that have influenced my educational career. However, the original structure was confusing and though I listed multiple situations, thy were not cohesive with one another enough to have a clear storyline. In my new essay I would like to centralize my main point and not leave it to the middle/end of my essay. After reading your comments on my essay, I have decided on a new structure. I will begin the new draft with past details before arriving to New York, the struggles I faced before finding a school, a brief description of my teacher, the event, and a reflection. My audience will be high schoolers in New York. This is because they would understand the struggles of the regents because they would have taken it themselves. As a writer I would express my feelings and my thoughts in the situation better, I have gotten comments that I am vague in my writing and I’m not very expressive. I will be cutting out most of my past writing out of my new essay because they mostly distract from the main experience I’m trying to talk about. I will however, be  using brief descriptions of these experiences to enhance my essay. I would also like to improve on my run-on sentences that I make continuously and improve on how I use commas. I would also like to improve on my grammar. 

Chris Chan

Revision

Prof. Hall

            “Balls of steel”

As a child, your always told to just try your best but that isn’t always the case. Majority of the time, playing it smart and not necessarily working hard gets you further. I was never a bad kid in school or in general causing havoc in class, disputes with teachers, etc. In class, I paid attention and did my work, got some laughs in with my friends, etc. I rarely got to hang out afterschool daily, I was picked up and didn’t ride the train. At the time, I hated it and resented the proposition of being picked up because I wanted to hangout afterschool with my friends and take the train alongside with them. Afterschool, I went straight home and did homework. Homework always took at least an hour, with English being the most time consuming. That class always had me worried, we had to read multiple books every year. It was late October in 7^th grade when I started to realize that almost everybody in my English class had similar grades, high 80s and 90s. The teacher wasn’t bogus, she was legit, she graded precisely and hard. Seats were moved in the second semester and I had a new neighbor. His name was Orion, he was a tad taller than me and always had the newly released Jays on. I wouldn’t say he had the best attendance nor care for his grades. However, we became good friends and sat together in other classes. One night, I struggled hard on this book review that I was given weeks to do and I didn’t even finish reading the last 5 chapters. I ended up arriving to class the next morning empty handed. I was certain others had failed to do it as well. To my surprise, sitting beside me in the calmest stance, Orion had the whole sheet filled out. Every quote, explanation and scene, from each chapter written on his paper. I was in awe, I was stunned and asked how he finished it with such ease. I was expecting a response of hard work and nights of reading but instead he showed me a link to an online site that gave every detail from the book. To my surprise everyone had knew about this and I was kind of the only one that didn’t. It kinda struck me at that point that I was clueless to the vastness of the internet. I ended up getting an incomplete for my final grade. For the next assignment, I did what any other kid would have done. It was then I understood the shortcuts and imperfections within the system, for most cases, the complete sheet of assignment could be found online and copied directly. Meanwhile I see those actually struggling to complete certain work, others are simply doing it the easy way. While you think those that actually do it learn more, for some classes, homework are nothing but grades. Many teachers assign homework that are just a review of the lesson they have already learned. Many adults complain that children don’t go out enough to exercise, but sometimes you cant blame them when they have 6-8 classes a day with homework everyday from half the classes. During weekends, they’re too busy doing even more homework because their teachers simply believe they have a lot of “free” time.

Starting High school wasn’t easy for me, but things weren’t that different around here. I understood that it was gonna be a challenge for me and it was going to be hard. I met many new friends, made unforgettable memories and grew older and older each day. Repeated the usual for 3 years and with my senior year around the corner I passed my required regents to graduate, some students had the struggle of failing one or two primarily because their teachers hadn’t teach the properly. I remember when all the upper class men would ask to see our schedules and give feedback on teachers. Many of the times, they would suggest transferring out the class simply because the teacher could not teach to the standard. I stressed on SATs and college applications and had switched between 3 different guidance counselors, so I couldn’t really go to anyone to ask about college. The SATs to me at the time was like a life changing testing, it was THAT intimidating to me. The hardest tests are the ones that you don’t know if you either absolutely flunked it or aced it. The night after we took the first school given SAT, I came out my shower and my phone was blowing up. I had scrolled to the top of the group chat to see what had originated from this spam of messages. My friend that went to another high school in Brooklyn sent, “Highkey just cheated on my SAT…this dude did not give a single shit.” Our first instinct was call bull, but he said insisted. Explaining to us that the proctor did not care at all and the whole class had their phones remaining inside their pockets. The proctor also left the classroom a great deal of times and even proceeded to take his own phone out. My proctor was out here checking people’s water bottles and calculator but his proctor could do such a thing. Of course, we all took to conclusion that maybe he was lying after all. Soon after, when we received the SAT scores back, we all pushed him to show his score. To our surprise, he got a 1400~, obviously OUR scores were nowhere near that range. The whole group chat had responses with jealousy and frustration. I remember seeing some of my friends study so  hard and prepared for this test just to be outscored by those who had their phones out during the test.

There are many problems with the education system and in this essay, I only mentioned a few important ones. I agree that homework is beneficial but when a student has other classes, it is also their priority to keep up in those classes. The teacher should assign homework accordingly that should not exceed or overrule that child’s social life. Regents are also important in this conversation mainly because they are so limiting and affects the way a teacher is teaching. Why is it that a student’s regents grade be a reflection of how they are taught. Each teacher teaches in their own speed and method and shouldn’t be rush. The DOE should really consider making new changes towards the system and invest more time and money into our future.  ” While students are 20% of our population, they are 100% of our future. –Tony Blair”

It was my first year of high school I knew my high school was different from the regular school system its called an outward bound school. I had no clue what that meant but all I remember was that we only take one regent exam the rest was replaced with something called Panels and we were going on a camping trip but only once our first year. My thoughts when I heard that this place is going to be the best. I walked in on the first day not knowing what was going to happen the first day I walked in following my schedule I didn’t know any of the people in the room. It looked too small to be a class and there was no desk just a circle of chairs the teacher walks in describing what the class is and how for the next four years we would have this same class every day. I didn’t know until senior year how important the people in the room were as classmates and as friends. My highschool was different for normal schools It was called an outward bound school which meant it didn’t follow the same rules as other schools like we don’t take the Regents except for ela and all the others would be replaced by essays three or more pages for every class. Panels are when you write an essay and present the essay usually in the form of a slide show to other teachers and staff at the school they graded you based on the paper and your presentation. I thought this would be the easiest school but it wasn’t we were given hard essays that they said would prepare us for the college level and  Ela only got harder in those four years it was especially hard for me because Ela was my weakest subject all through my life. But over the years in that school we were given essays to push us to the next leave on books like Othello to fahrenheit 451 I grew as a writer or so I thought until the last year in high school. Twelve grade ela assignment the only panel that I need to pass to graduate if I didn’t I wouldn’t graduate on time. Our teacher Ms.Chang was gone at the beginning of the year she was gone for the beginning of the year we were so happy because from what we heard from the last year seniors she wasn’t an easy teacher. We all had a great time when she wasn’t here but she did leave us work which was to read a book and start the essay we all through to our self’s ok we have been doing this for years. But then she came back early we all said please say it isn’t true as we stop outside the classroom door. As soon as class started she told us she looked at our essay and we had to restart the whole thing from scratch. We were so angry at her she told use the format that we used was wrong even though we used that format since the first year of high school and none of our teachers said it was bad but she said she wouldn’t expect it. We all were so angry at her she was out for three months then had the nerve to tell us our form was wrong and made us restart everything even a new book we missed our first chance to panel for the first semester. Then when we came back it was the second semester started we started reading the book class “The Kite Runner”. We had a class in the morning early 8:30 it was ever everyone would still be half asleep but we tried we didn’t meet a lot because of all of the holidays even worst for me I had to retake the SAT because my score was low so I studied a lot in between that time. After all that I focused on my essay but around the same time final project for every class but it didn’t affect me because I panels for every other class in my 11th-grade year. So I wasn’t as bad off as others some people would have to panel for all four of the major classes Math, Science, English, and Social Studies. I only had one sadly it was the subject I was the worst in English.

My Ela class wasn’t special it was regular 12th grade Ela in my school yet the work we were given wasn’t they told us we would be working at the college level, Ela. We thought it was going to be the most easy final because we did it for four years and ignored the teacher  but the ela final was different from everything we learned. Almost everyone was procrastinating until the final weeks of school before the break but it I thought we had enough time to get it finished but there weeks when by and it only felt like three days . In the final week before the break, there was a change in the atmosphere from relaxed to help me and everyone stress to graduate people that would come later every day was now on time begging for the teacher’s attention because they were still on their first draft sadly I was in the same boat. I had to restart my whole essay from scratch. The last three days of classes trying hard to panel my final project what went threw my mind is I wasn’t going to graduate because of one class. But I didn’t give up I finished the first draft because of my crew mate and best fiend. My teacher never told me anything on if I was ready by the end of the day and I was so worried thinking I was going to disappoint my family and not graduate on time when my friend told me to relax.

The reason why we had a week off was that it was regents week but my school only took one region and I had already passed. So on the day of that week teacher would call in student so the can present or work on their essay so that they can present their project for a grade. My Ela teacher never called me in to work so I took it upon myself to go in the class. The room was silent and everyone was working as I walked  in I told my teacher that I had finished my draft she told me she would check it as two days when by I got more and more worried telling my dad everything. He told me not to worry by it worried me more as time went by. Then one day I walked in and my teacher said I gave you edits I was happy because if I complete it I could panel but I didn’t understand the edits she gave me. My family and friends told me I shouldn’t give up as I became frantic but they helped me again and again until the teacher told me I was ok. But before I could panel my paper had to be read by a second person and the second person said there were more problems with my essay but when I fix it my teacher said there were problems and it got me so frustrated going back and forward on the same paper. That day my dad came into town from Trinidad for my graduation he said don’t worry I would help you get over the top. That night I went to the house he stayed up all night to help me and the next day it got accepted and I was able to panel but the had to give me a date I waited all day for news but nothing. It came 8:00 at night I got an email saying I can panel the following day. And I passed it. This related me to the story Amy tang because I wasn’t great at Ela bit I keep trying till I got it.One example the author gives is when she says “ Not waste money that way”. In a conversation between her and her mother and how went talking normally she realized everyone got used to her making improper sentences. Then she wrote more and more just like me till she got better. This experience helped me grow and realized that the only way to get better at writing is to push yourself over the limit to get better at English by challenging yourself by reading more books and writing a lot more.

Luis Sierra

A Teacher’s Care Revision 

It all started in my junior year of high school. I took an AP Spanish class that was mostly seniors with very little juniors. It was the only class that was easy for me, every other class was difficult for me and I felt stuck or left behind in them. I ended up making friends in that class, including my teacher Ms. Baduy. She always chimed in on the conversations and made jokes with us, she was just one of those teachers that gets along with all her students. I had Ms. Baduy since my sophomore year and got along with her right off the bat. Ms. Baduy is a nice, fun, and caring teacher, she’s in her early twenties so she still knew what was going on in the school and what went viral on instagram, snapchat, facebook, etc. She was my favorite teacher from that school and she knew it too but junior year was when we got closer and I knew I could count on her.

It was the month before summer began. Everyone rushed out of the classrooms and into the hallway as the bell rang. I was the last one out and walked down the stairs to Ms. Baduy’s class  and sat on a desk as i waited for her to finish grading some papers, there were some other kids in there finishing up a test. They looked at me for answers since they knew I was a senior and scored a 4/5 on the ap spanish test. I gave hints to some since I knew they were just going to fail the test, afterwards they left and felt satisfied with the 65 they would get. Ms. Baduy and I were closer after junior year and now that I was a senior she always saw me hanging around her class. She looked up at me and smiled and then looked back down, she always treats me like family as if we were siblings, her smile and energy was warm and welcoming. Once she was done with the papers we talked about our day and how we cant wait for summer to come, she told me she was pregnant a few weeks ago and now she tells me how it’s going and how she can’t wait to have her daughter in her arms already. No doubt about it, her daughter is gonna be lucky to have her as a mother. I left for home after that and walked with some friends, talking about our plans for college life.

Graduation was getting closer and I popped into her room more often since I knew I wouldn’t see her for a while. This time she had more of a bump and she seemed tired from all the school work. No kids in the classroom as she’s been taking it easier compared to how she started the year.  I sat on top of a desk and smiled at her and she returned the same smile back. This time I asked her about her college life and she told me about how she traveled and studied. I told her I planned to finish college and become a lawyer that deals with immigration. She seemed taken aback, I guess she wasn’t expecting me to leave the type of life I lived. It was full of crazy nights and crazy people. I was always hanging around someone that had some dope on them or would always be fighting. I told her I was tired of being on the streets trying to make a dollar out of everything I could and that i just want some desk job. It all became obsolete to me, the drugs and alcohol weren’t helpful when it came to making a better future for myself. She knows about the many things i did throughout high school and knows that some of them weren’t the best decisions I could’ve made. I sold what I could knowing the risk of getting caught and what type of consequences there were. Regardless of what i did she never judged or scolded me, only told me to be careful and to keep my head on straight. This time it was different, after looking shocked by the change that I want she told me that I’m a good kid and that she sees the light in my eyes. She always gave me confidence and she never gave up on me. She helped me see what i have to do to become successful.

My big sister, that’s what she is. She never was my teacher and i know i’m not the only one of her students that feel this way. Most call her mom but i don’t see her as that. She lead me to the right path and now i know to keep walking it. All of our conversations made me want to be ‘better’ in a way. To leave behind the street life and begin to create a new and more stable lifestyle. What she said to me replays in my mind when I struggle, her telling me the potential that she sees in me. That was the start of a new life for me, the only reason I got it was because I had someone that I could count on in school, someone who didn’t give up on me and chose to get to know me instead. I’ll never forget my time in BIshop Loughlin Memorial High School because of her and I’ll always be happy to hear from her. My younger sister just entered that school and I told her that once Ms. Baduy comes back to school from paternity leave, that she should go and say hi to her and give her my best wishes. No doubt about it i told my sister to get close to her because Ms. Baduy is gonna look out for her and make sure she stays on track. Not all teachers show the same care, some just care that the students do their work and pass, others only care about their paycheck. Some do go out of their way to make sure you’re okay and to know what goes on in your life. It’ll always be hard no matter what but I also learned that sometimes you can depend on someone and other times you have to depend on yourself in order to move forward. Just don’t give up hope.

Have you ever experience silence? Silence so deafening that you can hear the lights buzzing? Yeah me neither, in my 5th-grade classroom that silence was mandatory. When I heard the silence it gave me an uncontrollable drive to fill it with anything, who knew that a quiet room was so loud. My homeroom teacher dreaded me for this fact since I stood up to this silence never conforming to its oppression. It felt like a hostile environment that I only experience when I was in school. The silence antagonized me goading me into screaming back at it, this meant that I spent an uncharacteristically large amount of time in detentions. My teachers were at their wits end with me, my inclination to misbehave earned me the title of “Troubled”, but I preferred “Harbinger Of Disorder” or the HOD for short.

With my new title of “Troubled’’ therapy was recommended by school administration to my parents, but Neil The Troubled will not be defeated by some second-rate therapist misdiagnosing me. I countered their mind tricks with some well-placed deflection, dancing around their questions beautifully leading to them concluding that I’m just a smart-ass. “Therapy” became an excuse to not go to school, I ended up missing out on crucial opportunities to socialize. My time in elementary school was coming to an end and I hadn’t gained anything from it, no meaningful friendships, no teacher recommendations, and worst of all, I still wasn’t the HOD. Through my older sister, I was able to land a spot at the Urban Assembly for Applied Math and Science also known as AMS. My perception of middle school was basically The Silence Part 2, this time it was a 15-minute walk away. AMS was considered a great school in comparison to the other schools in my district, at the time boasting a 70% graduation rate. A lot of you may be thinking, 80%? “That’s pretty average” and you’d be right if we weren’t talking about the Bronx. The fact that I didn’t have teacher recommendations made the application to get into AMS difficult, I had to go through a home interview. I was able to make it through the interview successfully with some prepping with my sister, and landed a spot in the school. Neil The Troubled has now started his first day of the sixth form, he stands outside the bathroom and reaches into his pocket, he promptly takes the Liquid Ass out of his pocket. He proceeds to spray the entire bathroom entrance with Liquid Ass, and he would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for that meddling security system. Now out troubled protagonist is sitting by himself in the Dean’s Office, the Silence once again present leading him to assess his position and contemplate his fate. That’s when the woman who changed my life walked in Miss Russiello walked in, I’ve never gotten reprimanded so harshly by someone I’ve never met in my entire life. I couldn’t help but smile which didn’t temper her rage, but who wouldn’t smile? At last, an adult who so brazenly disrupts the Silence, concerned onlookers staring at me like I’m a convicted felon. Little do they know that I’m getting chewed out for a harmless practical prank, take that Silence! Russiello or Russi for short did something that other teachers didn’t, she tried to relate with me. She made a conscious effort to not  just be my teacher, but also my friend, as well as my ally against the Silence! She never once told me I had to be quiet or conform, she always told me to be myself, but try to be a better version of myself.

Our relationship blossomed even more in high school, due to us having a great relationship this lead to many of the complaints against me to go straight to her. I wasn’t afraid of her setting me straight, or of her giving me a punishment, I was afraid of disappointing her. This bothered me so much that I felt ashamed to come to her with any of my problems, she had so many other children to look after, how can I expect her to make time for me? I saw myself and my actions as a burden to everyone, my fight against the Silence was successful but at what cost? Others are being hurt by the aftermath of my actions, my mom, Russi, my dad, I made the decision to relinquish my voice. I lied, I have experience silence that is deafening, but it’s at those moments you hear the most. It’s in the moments of absolute silence that you achieve clarity, my clarity was suicide, the eternal silence of death. If I’m not around how can I burden anyone? I wouldn’t have to worry about the opinions of my teachers or peers anymore since I’d be conforming to their standards. Neil The Troubled will now be Neil The Silent.

Parent-teacher conference my mom and I are receiving my grades from my advisor, I make a comment about wanting to kill myself while in class. A small morbid joke, those words held a lot of weight, my advisor notified Russi about my sly remark. She got super pissed off at me, “Don’t you dare say your going to kill yourself” “I’ll fuck you up! You can’t escape me”. It took the threats of Russi and tears of my mom to find my voice, I had regained my most valued possession, the ability to contradict the monotony of life the Silence. If wasn’t for Russi I wouldn’t be here today, and I truly believe that. Her voice found mine, for a teacher to be my savior was truly unexpected. I love her for being there when I needed her, and still being there when I need her, the Silence isn’t something you want to face alone it’s best to bring back up.

Rexhep Kuqi
English 1101
10/09/19

It’s not a surprise that the American education system is completely disconnected from its student and reformation is needed. Lessening the stress applied to the students and make them feel more comfortable with being there. Growing up as an introverted kid, I always resorted to having a life online and having a majority of my friends there, at the time. Being exposed to social media and having the capability to view almost anything, I was overwhelmingly exposed to opinions about resenting the education system and how poor it is, in terms of execution. Mockery of teachers, the logic behind stories on the SATs, etc. Being so exposed to these opinionated ideas, it made me also conform to these opinions. I started to care less about school because I completely agreed with how everyone else online thought. The only way I broke free from this conformity is by having a personal connection with a teacher I had that made me move forward and made me feel like someone actually cared about me in school.

My resentment towards school made me completely give up on even going and focusing on my future. I felt as if school never mattered and I didn’t need school to go far in life, but I was completely wrong. Of course, I had external factors, like my parents, that cared about me going and made me want to focus on my education, but I kept rebelling. I lacked the motivation I needed to move forward and my mentality was that if no one cared, why should I? I constantly look back to how I was in high school and compare it to how I am currently and realize I was stressing myself out for nothing. I always thought high school would be extremely hard and I applied all that stress towards myself with never showing up or bothering to do any work. It’s definitely self-inflicted but I felt as if I was given up on. I stressed myself about my grades and how was I going to graduate, but again, it was all self-inflicted. As much as I wanted to pull a one-eighty and put myself on the right path, I kept failing to, as I said before, I lacked the motivation I needed to push on. I always dreamed about going to John Jay and entering the NYPD, but decimating my GPA by my actions during freshman year of high school, I knew that dream was long gone. I never agreed with the testing, either. Surely the point of testing is to test your intelligence but I could be more educated in one area rather than another and failing would make me feel insulted and stupid. I know my intelligence isn’t low and testing would make me freeze up completely.

I pushed myself towards heading to college and graduating with the class of 2019 by having a personal connection with a teacher that made me want to succeed. My previous global history teacher, Ms. Aluzzo, made me happy to show up to class and learn the material. The way she taught the material also made me intrigued to hear more about it. I never found any of her work boring nor did it make me want to not show up. Her, alone, set me on the right path as she knew my struggle with my absences in other classes and my lack of care for school. Aluzzo motivated me to move forward and not give up so easily. The care she provided for me was enough to make me want to go to college and actually become somebody. Before having a class with her, I’ve met her once by being kicked out of my freshman class and into her sophomore class due to bad behavior. After making her laugh and basically establishing some sort of relationship with her, it made me excited to have her as a teacher for my years to come, but around that time I still didn’t care about school. The whole social studies department of teachers always made me feel comfortable and cared for as history and politics have always been my forte. I’d say I had my turn around during my junior year of high school where I met even more history teachers that made me excited to show up and learn the material. As much as I hated the topic in my other classes, it didn’t matter to me. My history classes were enough to make me want to push through the school day. Having a friendly relationship with just one teacher was enough to make me want to push forward, but having multiple for my school years to come made it so much more tolerable. I finally realized the error of my ways and actually started to show up and finalize my education. My opinion of resenting school and most material taught hasn’t changed, and it still hasn’t. However, I don’t mind actually going and learning and doing what I have to do. Going to college gives me more of a choice of what I want to do rather than being forced on doing what I have to do and having that freedom makes me tolerate college extremely more.

The way I acted in high school I wouldn’t even dare to attempt in college as it’s actually not free anymore. Amaya, a classmate of mine in my law class and English class, once showed up sick. The professor gave her recommendation of staying home but Amaya’s mother justified her going to college by saying, “it ain’t free no more so you’re gonna go.” The environment of college and my classes are way more inviting in comparison to my high school. The environment justified my resentment formed by social media. Fake people, careless teachers, and so on. There was an occasion on a regent I took, a standardized test only taken place in NYS in order to graduate high school, where other students were openly cheating off of other people by copying their work and even the instructor didn’t care and even said to not make it obvious! Now look, I ain’t gonna lie to you, I did the same exact thing and cheated off of somebody else and even formed a little group to talk about questions, but it’s ridiculous that a test like the regents was taken not serious whatsoever, when teachers would make it seem like it’s the hardest test ever.

 

Aisse Tounkara

Professor Hall

10/10/2019

                               Money Please 

     As a young child I always knew I’d be attending college right after Highschool. With education it will allow me to stay away from a lot of the violence that was going on in my neighborhood. Education allowed me to become very hopeful. One particular moment that I experienced changed my entire view on education forever. I remember it like it was just yesterday. It was junior year and it was time to start looking into colleges. I remember telling my counselor, I would like to attend St John’s University. She looked at me and stated “that school is expensive your family can’t really afford it”. In my head im like “bitch bye”. Why are you telling me this. But deep down I wondered hmmmm why is that. As a counselor, it’s your job not to discourage me, and keep me on the right path. Here I am having hope that my future would be so bright but I have someone who was supposed to be guiding me help me look for schools and encourage me to keep going in life say “your family can’t really afford that. No matter what that shouldn’t stand in the way of your education.                        

    Financial barriers are a big issue when it comes to college. Often people get into these really good schools and when the time comes they never end up going because of financial situations standing in their way. That’s a huge issue. A couple months ago I was honored to be apart of Michelle Obama’s Reach Higher Initiative program. Out of 200 students only 10 highschool seniors were selected to be apart of this Conference at Howard University in Washington D.C. This conference was mainly for first generation college students and all the obstacles it took us to get to the place we’re at now. At the program in Washington D.C I met other amazing college graduates, and an author named Wes Moore. Wes Moore was telling us his story on education and what education meant to him. It taught me to never give up, to keep beating the odds, and strive against everything. One thing in particular that stuck with me was when Mrs Obama was a highschool student, her counselor said to her, “Your reaching too high, You should look into other schools because you are not Princeton material”. From there on forward she knew she could do anything she wanted to achieve despite what people would say. Being apart of this reach higher summit changed my life for the better. I would’ve never expected going to Washington D.C and meeting with the First Lady who paved the way for people with education, especially for minorities. She was just like me when she was my age but did not stop her. After this talk with Michelle Obama I realized I have more potential and said to myself ‘I can apply to St Johns for a transfer admission, get a scholarship, and do whatever it is that allows me to succeed. 

      As you maneuver on in life people will always try to discourage you with their negative comments. They will always put their fears onto you. But you have to rise above that and not let no counselor stand in your way, no financial barriers, not anybody. If you allow people to project their fears onto you, you won’t live. I’ve had jobs throughout highschool that didn’t mean very much but I said to myself “education is going to be essential for my success, my future, and the people who love me. I can’t go the rest of my life living paycheck to paycheck. So that allowed me to put my education first before anything. As the years went by, I realized that education was important to me and that it always will be. I’ve struggled a lot and I’ve seen the struggle right in front of me. I did not allow that moment with my counselor define who I was, who I am, or who I will become. I knew I would redefine success by pursuing higher education. Attending law school was something I knew I’d be interested in pursuing as I was young.     

        Even as a youngin I did college programs, started networking with people, enrolled in internships, and did everything possible to be successful in life. I also remember entering City Tech the first day of July to discuss my financial aid. The lady at the financial aid desk would send me back every day for a whole month. “Your missing this, your missing that”. This kept going on until the second week of the fall semester. She said to me “If your financial aid is not processed you will be forced to drop your classes, or pay out of pocket for your tuition”. I reached a breaking point because I was so overwhelmed. I had to endure so much just because I wanted to pursue higher education. I managed to save enough money for textbooks, and transportation fees until my financial aid was processed. In highschool I learned that financial barriers were a major problem in why most of the people in my community never reached college, or had no other choice but to drop out of college. I Aisse Tounkara was never going to let financial situation get in the way of what’s dearest to me. I’m sending a message for people to understand that financial barriers are a major problem when it comes to pursuing higher education. Financial barriers suck. It should be addressed more often. It makes you not want to attend college because it’s a lot to deal with. But you have to have patience. Now imagine a young girl from the Bronx who did not let financial situations stop her from dreaming, and achieving.