E + R =O ?

         Twenty percent of our population are students but they makeup hundred percent of our future. A teacher is the first person we encounter as students other than parents. We spend more than forty hours a week with teachers. So yes, it’s important what teachers think about us and what relationship we have or try to develop with them. I was blessed to build a great friendship with staff that can help me through a crazy roller coaster named high school. Mrs. Guash and Mr. Ghie was dean and guidance counselor in my high school. They were my school parents. I could always keep it a buck fifty with them and always had lots of respect for them. They both understood my story as a student and my behavior problem. They introduce to equation that I didn’t believe was helpful until this very moment. E+R=O simple solution to all my problems and the key to my stress free day.

     I struggled in history for many reasons it probably was that fact I had class the second to last period of my school day I was always tired. I was in class full kids that can care less about this class. Had a teacher that made the subject boring not interesting. Pretty much the odds were against me. I felt Mr. Bux wasn’t the greatest teachers. He found time to waste during class to check other students behavior Venus from checking them after class or letting their grade suffer. We only had 45 minutes per period we never as a class got alot done because of other students taking advantage of the teacher. He was one of those teachers that had to stop the whole class to check one student and their behavior. I mean how annoying is that when you are half tired and just want to go home. Which out of 45 minutes it takes 10 minutes for everyone to come in calm down it takes 5 minutes just for him to finish correcting students. Leave us with not a lot of time to learn new materials or even review older ones for quizzes and exams. I was always lost in class, when I told him he tries to accuse me of talking to peers about things off topic is the reason why “ i’m having trouble” which was far from the truth because I didn’t like anyone in class so why talk to them ? Mr.Buxs and I always bumped heads in class.

       This day I went to U.S History class Mr.Buxs assigns a group project gives a due date that is different from whats on pupil path. So I tell Mr. Bux “you do know that there is different due date on pupilpath then what you verbal said to the class” so he looks on pupilpath and it turns out I was correct.  Instead of apologizing for it saying its an error and warning other kids. Mr. Buxs tells me “there is no reason why I need to act so cocky and arrogant“ at this moment every student heard exactly what he said. I was put on the spot in front of the whole class embarrassed is an understatement in this case.  So I told him “ who the f**k are you talking to and how am I cocky and arrogant for helping you out.”

           “ Amaya, I’m tired of you and your outburst during class, you are distracting the whole class from learning you need to learn to have self control, if you don’t stop im calling your mom and i’m calling school safety escort you out of my class” Mr. Bux  says I reply back “what are talking about I don’t care if you call my mom im not waiting for you try to make an example out of me which is unfair.” He calls safety so they can come I told him” I’m not leaving class because today you acting like a complete d**k, just because you had a shitty day doesn’t mean you make mine one too.” When I look up at the door two safety agents and Mr. Ghie was there. It was a sense of relief because finally someone can witness this dumb stuff and not think Im making it up. He tells me “Amaya come to my office your not in any trouble we need to have a little conversation so bring your belongs please come with me.” I didn’t fight or argue with Ghie even though I was a tiny bit disappointed that Ghie didn’t put him in his place. But nevertheless I still just got up went with him the whole elevator ride down to his office I was so mad and frustrated. At myself mostly because I let him get underneath my skin, that made me so angry I missed out on my purpose for being in school which is to be present for the review. Instead I’m on a one way ticket heading to the dean’s office because of him.

          Ghie brings me into Mrs Guash office we both sit at a round table in her office. I gave them a play by play on what happened. Both of them started laughing because they knew earlier that day before I went to class I was not interested in going at all. I felt his vibe would be bad, I wasn’t there for the shenanigans he got going on because he couldn’t find a park that morning so the fact that not even 15 minutes and yes 15 minutes after the late bell rings . I’m back in her office yelling “Guacamole this teacher picked the wrong one, on the wrong day to f**K with me”  had the whole office laughing.

           Now remember that simple equation I brought up in begin watch how this dramatically changed my life. Mrs Guash looks at me and see the anger underneath the humor I had about the situation. I got so angry that I started to cry. So she asked me what is your goal when you walk in that class I said “prepare for the regents “ do you think want just happen in class helped or harmed you and your goal I said to her “no it harmed my goal. ” She then tells me teachers have upper hand of students because they are responsible for your grades. Teachers are human and make many mistakes, they are normally out number in classroom so when you call him out after his bad day of trying to find a park. You my darling is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, this doesn’t make it right . this isn’t even the time to try to argue with him since it is the last week of the marking period she follows up with another question “but you only have control of who?”  I said “ myself “ so in the event you want a positive outcome your response has to be positive right ? I agreed so do you believe in this event your response was positive or negative I said while rolling my eyes “it was obviously negative” Ghie jump in like its a teachable moment and says E+R=O. Event plus response equal outcome. So next time you are put in this situation think about your outcome, you can’t control event but you can change your response so you can get the right results and outcome you want.

            Little light bulb went off in my head and it explains a lot of the disconnect from other teachers. So that point on I made a mental note sometimes not saying anything can make you win in the event you need to respond. To wait process information on event you are not in any hurry to make a choice, weigh out your option if you pick one option over the other what is your result ? And how is it different ? Is this the result you are trying to achieve if not what are you trying to do to change your results. At that very second everything made more sense than before, I left her office with a better understanding of everything. So after that day, I promise I won’t let another teacher get up under my skin. I’m in control of my education and my life I won’t let the event control me to the point I lose focus of my goal. Since that point I never argue with any teacher when it happens I just listen, wait after class to respond. So no one is pressure to act a certain way it has worked for a while, I pass it to all my friends when I have advice to give, because it has helped me so much on my daily interacting with other people but more so teachers.