In my revision, I have a lot of goals set for improving my paper. I plan on improving the organization in my story by adding more crucial details, these details will fix the gaps and jumps I have in my story. I also plan on fixing my grammar mistakes since I didn’t indent or space out my essay into paragraphs. My revision will reshape the structure of my essay, I want to move some events around to see how cohesive the story becomes. I want to change the introduction and make a better hook that relates to my topic. That will be my hardest though since I will have to think of a whole concept to attract readers. My first paragraph should be more concise when I’m talking about the early stages of my life since those aren’t the important years. This can also bore readers I plan on focusing on my high school years, these years were eventful which can give me a better story. The climax of my story also seems a little late a good idea will be to centralize this idea, this gives my story a more traditional structure. Individuality is also something I aim for I want my story to stand out amongst my peer’s story. I’ll achieve this goal by making my revision hit all the points I highlighted in this blog post. If I’m able to successfully implement my story elements then I should be able to create a beautiful story that has a great message behind it.
