Revision 1

Do you feel that you have received the education that you deserve? Or that you graduated with all the knowledge that you need to go into college? I sense that a lot would probably say no; including myself. After graduating high school and coming into the real world, I realized how shitty the kind of education I received is. It’s not fun at all, feeling lost at college because you feel that you were robbed of an education. Our parents send us to school with the best of intentions. They believe that education is what we need in order to become the productive and happy adults that we need to be. While yes, I do believe that education is very important and is the foundation of life, this is exactly why something needs to be done. Our educational system is only getting worse. There are more and more graduates with less knowledge. But who or what is to blame?

Revision one

Mia Carter

 

Ever feel like a lab rat? When it comes to anything you do in life like your life is a experiment and you always have to text everything out. Or the things you do or been in are testing you. I know when I was in school grades k-12 did you ever feel like a lab rat? I know when I was in middle school and when the principal and some other people would come into room class for the whole period and watch everything that happens. That made me feel like a lab rat. That my teacher was the scientist and I was the pet being used for the experiment. That were the idea schools are like science labs they study students and use students as experiments to see how the young minds will act by being drilled with information, habits and attitudes. That  they believe we will be used in society when we get older. Always feeling that you have to show off and make yourself and the teacher look good.

        

 

School is defined as an institution where children are educated. As students we are taught to listen carefully, think critically, be able to connect points together and the ability to think on our own but there are various ways for a person to be educated such as learning from personal experiences and lessons thought to us by our elders. Schools play an important role in developing skills because their goal is for students to learn and it’s up to us as students do our part. The issue that revolves in the school system is whether or not each student is provided with enough resources and good school environment or if the student is even aware and taking advantage of those resources. To John Taylor Gatto we may just mindless consumers produced by the school system, implying that school is in fact useless and pointless but why is that some students show more interest than others?, the desire of being successful will always be stronger than poor teachings that may exist. As students it’s our duty to do our job and be responsible in school which means doing our homework, following directions but most importantly being able to learn and take something from each class and apply it to other classes and especially outside of school.

revision 1: intro

Imagine a world where children and students alike would need a special barcode would be etched into their skin in order for them to be registered as a student. Imagine sending your children off to school, and watching someone scanning your son or daughter, like an item. But, every students “barcode” shows an extensive learning history of him/her. Their strengths, weaknesses, preferred learning methods, and an overall grade. A grade solely compiled of numbers, nothing more. It would not take progress, or the will to actually learn. Now, most would find such a system not only unethical, but possibly illegal. This “dystopian” world is not as far-fetched as it seems. Within the decade, multiple studies deemed “innovations” have been introduced within NYC Public schools. These innovations ultimately would take the teachers role in educating children, and determine how their child should be taught. Granted, there has always been a natural inclination to advance current technology, in order to make life easier for everyone, with the ultimate goal being to benefit modern society. But, there a limit to how far-how much rather we should depend on said technology. Technology already drowns humanity out, it quite literally is addicting. But to replace hardworking, dedicated people who have made teaching their profession, is not only insulting, to teachers as well as the entire foundation to teaching, but to pretty much every student who would have never even pondered such a thing growing up in school.

Revision 1 Intro

“ Hey! Can I copy your homework? I was really busy yesterday.”
Busy? But your Snapchat story says you were at the karaoke.
“ Why is our math teacher mad all the time? Like does she know we all have a life and the amount of work she gives us is crazy”
Why? Probably because 95 percent of the class never submits the homework.
“ I can’t believe I failed!”
Why is it hard to believe you failed when you put zero effort into studying and cheated off someone else?
I’ve always wondered what was going through their mind when they rant about how the school is pointless and teachers suck. Must be nice to have parents that can afford your tuition even when you have to repeat the same grade twice. Must be nice living under a three-story house with three maids and not worry because mommy’s credit card got you covered. Honestly, why are you even in school? All you guys do is eat, sleep, be obnoxiously loud and skip classes. Stop being spoiled teens that take education for granted because there are thousands of kids in the world that are willing to die for one. Instead of blaming the system and teachers, take a good look and ask yourself “have I been learning anything?”

Revision 1: Intro

We are trapped in a society that if we have no education people look down upon us and treat us unfairly. Many people think they could buy their way through education. We should bring real reforms that make sure we have a good teacher in every classroom and gives parents the option of where they send their kids to take the steps they need in order to be successful. “The federal government throws dollars at the state, the state throws dollars at local school boards and the local boards throw dollars at schools”, which shows money affects the way schools operate because if they don’t do what they are told the money schools get could be affected. So, schools have no say in education because their primarily focus is the “money”, the positive is making the school better but on the other hand the  government controls every aspect of education. According to Robert Ware, the school board should develop a SWOT analysis Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) which shares reports with other schools to help each other. “Buying education” by Robert Ware is connected to people cheating their way through education because they are afraid of failing.

Revision 1

“College is super easy, I pass all of my exams, my GPA is sitting pretty at a 4.0, I don’t have to study after class, and my social life is flourishing!” said no successful college student ever. Being completely candid, more often than not, failing grades, long hours pouring over textbooks and class notes, along with turning down offers to turn up with friends are common college experiences.

College life is not an easy task, students often must overcome problems both in and outside the classroom. The struggles that arise tend to negatively affect schoolwork. A common misconception is it is the teacher’s responsibility to take extreme efforts to combat the issues that arise. Students need accountability to persevere and seek help when necessary. Education is not a passive process it takes time and considerable amounts of effort.

Dr. Robert Leamnson wrote “Learning (Your First Job)”, which describes the components of the learning process (understanding and remembering) and several methods to aid this process both in and out of the classroom. Many of Leamnson’s learning strategies ring true. Leamnson writes, “…we have to practice what we understand. Without rehearsal, that fantastic circuitry that enabled our understanding will gradually disintegrate and we can no longer reconstruct what we once understood.” (Leamnson 3) This stresses that without repetition, the initial learning that was achieved will be forgotten. Leaving the learner unable to access the knowledge. The teacher can help the student with the initial understanding portion. But in order to truly learn and commit the information to memory, the student must then put in the effort to review and deepen their understanding of the material.

Leamnson writes, “You cannot be ‘given’ learning, nor can you be forced to do it. The most brilliant and inspired teacher cannot ‘cause’ you to learn. ” (Leamnson 1) A good teacher can not force a student to learn it is the student’s responsibility as well. Conversation is not one sided neither is the learning process.

A person’s achievements are not based solely on their educational background but their motivation and perseverance are major components. That being said, some careers, such as medical doctor, require substantial schooling that would seem unattainable without the “twelve-year wringer” as a adequate base to build upon. School systems, teachers in particular can help spark curiosity in a given subject by escaping the humdrum routines. Whether it’s bringing the lesson to life in new and unexpected ways or offering incentives to ignite passion in the material, teacher are integral parts of the education process.

Works Cited

Leamnson, Robert. “Learning (Your First Job).” MA, Dartmouth, Dec. 2002.

Thursday: Homework and Quiz (and meetings)

Hey everyone! For Thursday, I would like you to write (and print out) an introduction for your revision. This should be about 200 words. Your intro  should also:

  • Have a clear sense of audience–WHO are you writing for (recent high school graduates? College professors?) and what is the best way to reach this population? Think about diction (word choice) that best reaches this group
  • Know what publication you are writing for– remember, you are writing this revision as though you’re writing for a magazine/ newspaper/ website, etc… This should be a publication your audience reads!
  • Your intro should be interesting! That is, it needs to HOOK your readers. Think about the last time you read an article online. You read the first few lines and if you were bored, you stopped reading. How can you get your readers’ attention?
  • You should also, toward the end of your intro, introduce your thesis statement (probably.) It’s true that not all published articles do this, but it’s also true that it’s much harder to write with a “hidden” thesis than an explicit one.

There will also be a quiz on Thursday of some of the grammar stuff we’ve reviewed in class. There will also be one short essay question on “The Maker’s Eye” which we read last week. The grammar issues we covered are:

  • Sentence fragments and run-ons (review HERE)
  • Capitalization (look up on the Purdue OWL)
  • Apostrophes (look up on the Purdue OWL)
  • “Their/ They’re/ There” and “Your/ You’re”

Here is a copy of “The Maker’s Eye.” You may bring it to class.

Microsoft Word - Murray, Donald - The Maker's Eye.doc

 

Meetings (all in my office, Namm 525)

Weds, March 27:

  • 2:00 Raymond
  • 2:20 Ismael

Thursday, March 28

  • 10:20 Ashley
  • 10:40 Britney
  • 11:00 Hadeel
  • 12:50 Deo
  • 2:40 Saalik

Article

With headlines such as ” murderer walks free after judge dosnt show up for 15 minutes” to their infamous in america” ‘no way to prevent this’ said only nation where this regularly happens”, it’s easy to see why people come for the satirical and cynical nature of the onion, but not much is said about the surprisingly well written, and in sometimes deadly accurate representation of our nature, of the articles themselves.
Even with fake quotes, edited pictures, and sometimes morbid or weird ideas, their articles are great for tricking gullible and naive readers. To poking at sometimes sensitive or redundant topics or just blatantly ripping at a disgusting or corrupt system, their ease of narrative shifting some reader to believe whatever come south their mouth, something that should be taken more often into opinionated articles or stories on events in more recent news.

Mentor paper

The mentor text that I chose to use for my first revision is called “A students struggle with depression, college is act as counselors.”. Written by Brad Wolverton of the New York Times. I selected this article for various reasons, first being it hits an incredibly sensitive but truthful topic for me, as well as I found that it was overall written very well. Wolverton’s organization throughout was relatively easy to follow along with, he wasn’t wordy and easily kept to a specific person or topic with ease. Wolverton’s straight to the point through the writing process represents a style that I would enjoy to imitate. This article was composed of college students and the stress they endure daily plus how universities are trying to adapt to the increasing need for help. Wolverton writes in a way that an audience of any age and area in life generated and still get something out of it. I believe that both Wolverton and Ghattos articles can help support my opinion that schools can do a youthful person’s mind more harm nowadays than good. Wolverton’s article discusses how schooling primarily college can affect an individual in many negative ways also how universities are trying to utilize counselors to support students and teach them to maintain their emotions. Wolverton introduces his article off with an example of a student who emailed his teacher stating that he needed a break because he was experiencing a mental breakdown, I feel using this first is a great draw into an article while offering you just a great idea of how it’s going to go. I genuinely would like my article to mimic some of these points and that leaves the reader why confused then they started.Â