Month: May 2019

Britney Lilly
Dr. Hall
1101
4.13.19
Scholastic Art Magazine

A Starry Night and its Tortured Soul

 

Vincent van Gogh wasn’t just the man who decided to chop his left ear off because he wanted to give it to someone he loved (or so they say). Vincent van Gogh was a man of many faces, all of which turned into a life of unexpected twists, turns, and emotional turmoil.
Though Vincent van Gogh was thought of as a tortured soul, the life he lived and the roles he played created the artist we revere today. Just like many of people nowadays, Vincent van Gogh clearly struggled with mental disabilities along with some physical ones throughout his life. He has been commonly believed to eat his yellow paint in the hopes that its color would brighten his demeanor. Though in reality while he did eat his paints it was found by Dr. Peyron to have been in attempts of suicide through poisoning “The medical notes of Dr Peyron, Vincent’s physician, revealed that Vincent wanted to poison himself by eating paint and drinking turpentine. That’s probably why he wasn’t allowed into his studio while he was suffering from his attacks”(VanGoghmuseum).Vincent van Gogh also had the habit of consuming absinthe while falling into a fit of emotions that lasted for the remainder of his life.
He later admitted himself to an asylum after one of his fits caused him to chase his roommate painter Paul Gauguin around with a razor in hand. That evening ended in the severing of Vincent van Gogh’s left ear (which he handed to the brothel owner in which he frequented) though no one really knows if it was by him or Gauguins’. When Vincent van Gogh arrived back home, this is when he shot himself in the stomach in a wheat field where later his brother Theo had found him bleeding. Vincent van Gogh died a few days later from internal damage and inability to remove the bullet, and his brother Theo followed after six months, leaving many to think Theo unable to live his life without his brother when in fact he really died from syphilis.
In his death, Van Goghs’ fame rose quickly, causing many doctors to attempt in diagnosing this plagued artist. He is commonly thought to have suffered from psychosis, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, epilepsy, borderline personality disorder, severe depression, and paralyzing anxiety. No matter what they tried to diagnose him with, Van Gogh was a man with much sorrow, who tried to work through his pain with his paintbrushes. And because of this he created beautiful and emotionally driven paintings that can be seen and felt throughout the art world.
It was 1889 when Vincent Van Gogh admitted himself into Saint-Rémy asylum after having a nervous breakdown, there he found he could “paint en plein air” (French for outdoors), it is here that he pained one of his most famous masterpieces. The scene of “The Starry Night” came entirely from Van Gogh’s imagination, none of the scenery actually matches the area that surrounds Saint-Paul or the view seen from his window. As a man who religiously paints what he sees, it’s a remarkable break from Van Gogh’s normal work.
Really look at his brush strokes. From the sky and how they swirl, to each dab of color moving with the clouds around the stars and the moon. The cypress tree that bends with each curve of the branches. The whole effect is graceful and dreamlike it’s like each stroke is creating a dance only his mind understands. The hills lazily spiral down into the village below. In a striking difference, the town is painted with rigid lines that break up the fluid like the flow of the brush strokes. There are fewer trees through out that soften the harshness of the town merging nature into the roughness of buildings. The contrast in styles plays on the dreams versus reality or natural and unnatural. Nature could even be attributed to the divine in this work. While in the asylum Vincent van Gogh wrote to his brother, “I feel a tremendous need for religion, so I go outside at night to paint that stars.” (Theartpostblog). In his search for self discovery and healing, he found that the sky, the nature, the starry nights satisfied his desire for infinity. (Theartpostblog).
It reminded me when I placed myself into an institution, like Vincent van Gogh I placed myself in willingly after a mental breakdown. There I met a nurse who would paint replications of many famous artists’ paintings, with Vincent van Gogh painting being one of them. This was where I found my love for his artwork. Watching her as she would paint with practiced strokes and concentrated face of what she saw Vincent van Goghs’ painting to be through her mind’s interpretation. That along with the telling of his life’s tale I soon saw how I could relate to such a beautifully broken mind. Through my own turmoil just as he had his, he inspired me. I believe everything can be beautiful if you just try to see it through another’s eyes.
Many people have seen a picture of “The Starry Night” either in a museum or on the internet and felt the power of his brush strokes created in their soul. I myself have gotten lost in this painting many times. The connection that is felt inside myself when I view “The Starry Night” is indescribable, I become at ease. It is as though the world around me has melted away where the colors start becoming one. In my personal episodes of depression, anxiety, mental breakdowns, this painting has brought me to places of solace. The calming blues, swirling whites mixed with yellow, the speckles of stars, and the sleepy town below is a place I wish I could be. A constant place of steadiness created from a mind that was in wild disarray .
Life is moving so quickly that people forget to stop and appreciate the small things yet people always seem to ask, but why? Why should I care? For me people like that have a tendency to close themselves off when a new world is offered to them. It’s as if those types of people are afraid to step out of the confinement of their personal bubble. “The Starry Night” shows that even in the darkness there’s an underlying beauty in the things that are around us if we know how to look. Everything that is created is made with emotion and care. You don’t have to necessarily like something to understand the emotion behind it. That is what art is, the emotion that brought that image, sound or story to life.
When people have their mindset in the place of pain and misery, there is not much that we can do for that person in terms of reliving their sorrow. When dealing with manic depression, if it is not handled properly, what that person has been through to that point is normal to them, even though their judgment is seen as askew. If someone is going to commit suicide such as Vincent van Gogh, then they have readily convinced themselves that they are no longer needed in this world. Letting go is the easy part, it’s finding subnational reason to hold on that is hard.

Works Cited
o www.vangoghmuseum.nl/en/125-questions/questions-and-answers/question-63-of-125?fbclid=IwAR2oZa0GI0vXi0T3BtyocuqvgZ9bDKHFYQyLCRxlm_MvV4VHQziDK6slPUk&v=1.
o “The Starry Night by Van Gogh: What It Represents.” The Art Post Blog | Art and Artists Italian Blog, 14 Mar. 2019, www.theartpostblog.com/en/the-starry-night-by-van-gogh-what-it-represents/.

“Sucker For Pain” Video

Nina Darbonne

Dr. Carrie Hall

English Comp 1 1101-D355

2 May 2019

“Sucker For Pain” and EMS Work

Many have heard of New York City’s bravest, strongest, finest, and boldest as monikers for New York’s public service departments of Fire Department, Sanitation, Police Department, and Corrections respectively. But few people know there is a department missing from the list. New York City’s Best is reserved for Emergency Medical Services. In Emergency Medical Service, EMS for short, Emergency Medical Technicians, EMTs and Paramedics work with passion for the profession. A wide array of reasons reel EMS workers into the job; whether it’s the excitement of the job, morbid fascination, riding the high from helping those in need, or being one of the last lines of defense against death. Despite the undeniable love of the job, sadly many EMS workers are overworked and underpaid. More often than not, EMS workers have three or more jobs just to make ends meet. Being exhausted from working long hours and running from one job to yet another job for another long grueling shift, leads to bitter, burnt out workers. Unfortunately, EMS workers tend to leave the job either hurt from physical strain or fed up with the field of work due to years of fatigue draining the love and passion out of the job.

First responders: Police officers, Firefighters, and EMS are legally not able to strike because they provide essential services to the city. A strike would cause a detrimental gap in those services and possibly endanger lives. This can be compared to other city jobs, like Mass Transit Association, MTA which has had several strikes to give stock to their union’s pay and benefit demands. There is a significant pay gap even amongst first responders. “EMTs are paid $47,685 a year after being on the job for five years. Firefighters with five years on the job are paid $110,293, while police officers make $85,292 after five and a half years, but ‘officers may potentially earn over $100,000 per year’ with benefits, according to NYC.gov” (EMS1). Taking a look at other first responders, it is far less common to find a police officer or firefighter moonlighting as officers or firefighters (respectively) in another city or county. However, for EMS members it is essential to precariously balance several jobs just to afford to live in the city we serve.

New York City’s Mayor Bill de Blasio promotes ideals of “fairness and equality.” However, when questioned regarding the first responder pay gap during a press conference, de Blasio defended the unfair disparity in wages. “‘I have deep, deep respect for our EMTs and everyone who works at EMS,’ de Blasio said. ‘I think the work is different. We are trying to make sure people are treated fairly and paid fairly but I do think the work is different’” (EMS1). Contrary to de Blasio’s misconception, EMS workers arrive to the scene of calls along side both police officers and firefighters and encounter their own share of dangers. Moreover, the EMS department responds to the largest number of jobs of all the first responders.

EMS workers face traumatic scenes, dangerous and high stress situations on a regular basis. A survey was conducted with EMS workers and was compared to national statistical data compiled from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the CDC. “3,447 (86%) of the 4,022 respondents experienced CS but the shocking discovery was that 1,383 (37%) of the respondents had contemplated suicide and 225 (6.6%) had actually tried to take their own life… These statistics are roughly 10 times greater than the national average for adults in America, according to a study done by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2012” (Newland). CS stands for critical stress, which is “the stress we undergo either as a result of a single critical incident that had a significant impact upon you, or the accumulation of stress over a period of time. This stress has a strong emotional impact on providers, regardless of their years of service” (Newland). EMS workers do not voluntarily run into burning buildings or knowingly stand in the line of fire. Nevertheless, that does not mitigate the dangers EMS workers face on a regular basis and the difficulties inherent to the line of work.

The song “Sucker For Pain” was released in June 2016 as part of the soundtrack of the movie Suicide Squad. The song features artists: Dan Reynold of Imagine Dragons, Sam Harris of X Ambassadors, Ty Dolla $ign, Logic, Lil Wayne, and Wiz Khalifa. The song closely relates to the plot and themes prevalent throughout the movie. The official movie website describes the movie as, “Assemble a team of the world’s most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government’s disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity. U.S. intelligence officer Amanda Waller has determined only a secretly convened group of disparate, despicable individuals with next to nothing to lose will do. However, once they realize they weren’t picked to succeed but chosen for their patent culpability when they inevitably fail, will the Suicide Squad resolve to die trying, or decide it’s every man for himself?” (SuicideSquad). In the movie, the group of criminals transforms into unlikely heroes and band together to save the world. The group fights to save society, despite always being viewed as criminals and returning to their prison sentences after the successful mission.

The lyrics of the song have a clear correlation with the movie. Some of the lyrics can also be applied to EMS work and serve as an anthem of sorts. The song opens with the chorus performed by Dan Reynold and Sam Harris. The line “Take my hand through the flames” can be related to the year long wringer of paramedic school. Typically when EMTs are going to medic school, a delicate and draining balance must be maintained between attending class, scheduling ambulance and hospital rotations, studying, and working enough to keep their bills paid. Another line from the chorus that ties in with this analogy is, “I’m a slave to your games (I’m just a sucker for pain).” For many perspective paramedics, medic school encompasses a majority of their time. It requires the student to read textbooks, prepare for exams, excel in clinical rotations, and learn new skills such as: interpreting EKGs, intubation, iv placement, and drug administration. Medic school tends to eclipse work and more often than not, personal life as well.

Ty Dolla $ign’s verse can be used in context of EMS unity and pride, the community’s discontent with Mayor Bill de Blasio, and the tragedy that devastated many when a fellow EMT was run over and murdered by her own ambulance on March 16 2017. Ty Dolla $ign raps, “I got the squad  tatted on me from my neck to my ankles.”  The first line referring to having tattoos identifying with one’s “squad” can easily be applied to EMS as it is common place to see EMS workers adorned with the Star of Life, a stylized EKG, or emergency medicine paraphernalia tattoo. The following lines, “Pressure from the man got us all in rebellion. We gon’ go to war, yeah, without failure… Love and the loyalty that’s what we stand for. Alienated by society. All this pressure give me anxiety… Feeling the world go against us. So we put the world on our shoulders.” These verses can be related to the loss the community experienced losing one of its members, along with the added insult to injury with de Blasio mitigating the work EMS providers perform claiming “the work is different.” EMT Yadira Arroyo died while working an overtime shift from injuries sustained when Jose Gonzalez stole her ambulance, struck her and ran over her body. “Pressure from the man” can represent the pay disparity EMS workers face or Mayor de Blasio himself and the ignorance and misconceptions he and others hold regarding the field of work. “All this pressure give me anxiety…Feeling the world go against us. So we put the world on our shoulders” speaks to how regardless of the issues faced: PTSD, anxiety, depression, lack of respect, and poor pay; EMS providers continue to service the communities we work in and help our patients to the best of our abilities.

The second verse is performed by Logic. He raps, “I been rollin’ with my team, we the illest on the scene. I been riding ’round the city with my squad… We just posted, getting crazy, living like this is so amazing… We been loyal, we been fam, we the ones you trust in.” These lines relate to how EMS workers view themselves and the positive morale felt on the job. This encompasses the crew arriving on scene to an emergency, the nature of the job involves driving around the city in the ambulance, the love of the job, and how our patients and their family members rely on the services we provide. This verse celebrated the highs experienced working EMS.

Most of Lil Wayne’s lyrics are esoteric describing far-fetched, painful, creative ways to die; however one relatable line is, “Uhh, devoted to destruction.” This ties into how first responders are called upon during disasters and in general when things go wrong on both the small, personal and grand scale.  Wiz Khalifa’s contribution to the song is in the bridge. He raps, “Never going slow, we pick up the pace. This is what we wanted from a young age.” These lines tie into the nature of the job and emergencies call for expedient measures to be taken in both arriving on scene, care of patients, and arriving at the hospital. As for the second line, many people in EMS had aspirations from childhood to work on an ambulance and help people.

Every career choice has its share of positives and negatives. EMS work is definitely not an exception to this rule. However, myself and many other EMTs and Paramedics would proudly attest the positives far outweigh the negatives. We love what we do and proudly serve day in and day out. “Sucker For Pain” is a dark anthem that celebrates doing the right thing; despite lack of recognition and injustices that must be overcome.

 

Works Cited

Newland, Chad, et al. “Survey Reveals Alarming Rates of EMS Provider Stress and Thoughts of Suicide.” Journal of Emergency Medical Services, 28 Sept. 2015, www.jems.com/articles/print/volume-40/issue-10/features/survey-reveals-alarming-rates-of-ems-provider-stress-and-thoughts-of-suicide.html.

“NYC Mayor on FDNY EMS Pay Gap: ‘The Work Is Different’.” EMS1, 29 Jan. 2019, www.ems1.com/fdny-ems/articles/393319048-NYC-mayor-on-FDNY-EMS-pay-gap-The-work-is-different/.

“See #SuicideSquad, Available on Digital HD 11/15 and Blu-Ray™ 12/13.” SuicideSquad, www.suicidesquad.com/.

“Sucker For Pain.” Suicide Squad: The Album Soundtrack, Atlantic.