Zevanya
Carrie Hall
English 1101
April 14, 2019
April and A Flower
I was seventeen when I flew across the world on my own. It was a step of adulthood for me because I was leaving my friends and family behind. People asked me, “why waste so much money for college in America when you can just go to one in Jakarta.” I used to ask myself the same question but there never was a specific answer. I just remembered that my heart was telling me to go back home. People called my parents crazy for letting their one and only daughter fly 16,167 kilometers away and it wasn’t just any city, it was the Big Apple. Whenever people asked they always replied, “it’s because she’s my only daughter that I have to let her go. You let them go because you know they’re ready to make their own path instead of following a paved one. Just like how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, I’m not going to hold her back just because of my greed.”
It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made but I was beyond excited to start my new life in New York. My flight was on a Monday afternoon and my friends promised to come by the airport to send me off. My family and I arrived earlier at around 1 pm because check-ins take forever. After checking in we ate at a restaurant near my gate while waiting for my friends to arrive as well. We just sat there in silence. We didn’t need to say much because we understood and realized that this will be the last time we’ll be able to enjoy each other’s presence. The silence was more than enough to convey how we felt that very moment. An hour later my friends started arriving and we were talking and hugging in front of my gate. They gave me letters to read on the plane and my best friend gave me a teddy bear. I started feeling really emotional because I was usually the one sending my friends off but now I was the one saying goodbye.
It was finally time for me to check-in and say my last goodbye to my friends and grandparents. None of us cried because it wasn’t a day to cry about so we waved goodbye with smiles on our faces. My mom followed me inside until I entered the waiting area. I was still a minor that time so she was allowed to accompany that far. Before I scanned my airplane ticket and passport we stood in a corner and she gave me a last hug. I was very overwhelmed and my eyes started itching but I promised myself not to cry. I felt all her love and support from that final hug and she whispered to me before I let go, “I have raised you well. You are brave, smart and wise. Always remember no matter how far or long we’re apart I will always love and support you. You keep me going and I’m beyond blessed. God gave me the best gift I could ever ask for so remember if you miss me I’m always a call away.”
I finally took my hand-carried luggage and scanned my passport. As I walk to the waiting area I saw my mom with a wide smile and waving goodbye until we couldn’t see each other anymore. It just hit me then that I was actually on my way to New York. As I waited for the doors to enter the plane to open, I sat and pressed shuffle on my playlist. It caught me by surprise when “Flower Road” by Kim Sejeong started playing. I looked out the window and saw my plane and as I listened to the lyrics, tears started to come out.
“세상이란 게 제법 춥네요” (the world is so cold)
“당신의 안에서 살던 때 보다” (colder than when I lived in you)
After listening to this song for a hundred times, the hundredth and one was when I truly felt and understood what it meant.
“젊고 아름다운 당신의 계절
여길 봐 예쁘게 피었으니까
바닥에 떨어지더라도
꽃 길만 걷게 해 줄게요”
(You gave up your youthful and beautiful season. Look at me, I have bloomed prettily. Even if I fall to the ground, I will make you walk only on flower paths.)
Just like the lyrics, my mom sacrificed everything for me and nothing could ever replace my mom’s love. I promised her and myself that when I get older she will only have to walk on flowers.
Kim Sejeong is a South Korean singer and actress born on August 28, 1996. Her single “Flower Road” was released on August 2018 and was actually produced by the famous Zico from BlockB. The song was made by Zico based on the letters Sejeong and her group member (from the girl group I.O.I), Chaeyon, wrote for their mothers. In the music video, you could only see the image of a mother as it represents Sejeong’s family background. Her parents were divorced when she was little and her mother raised both her and her brother alone. I felt as if she was speaking for me through this song. My parents got divorced when I was younger and I’ve been raised by my mother alone too which made me feel like she could relate how sorry I actually feel towards my mom. The song charted really well on Korean music sites and during the promotion of “Flower Road” she performed the song and ranked number 1 on Show Champion (a music show where they rank top 5 songs released during the month and award first place a trophy). As she was giving her speech, she started crying and thanked Zico, the fans, her staff, and company for giving her this amazing song and the chance to win. Lastly, she thanked her mother and grandfather and her eyes started to water even more as she mentioned them.
Seeing a very beautiful and strong woman openly talk about her family and her love for her mother makes me so happy. Her voice suited the song very well and when watching her live performance you can tell that she meant every word. Ever since that day, I viewed the song differently. It wasn’t just a typical ballad song about a breakup, it was a song about a mother’s love and her child promising a brighter future.
“여길 봐 예쁘게 피었으니까
바닥에 떨어지더라도
꽃길만 걷게 해줄게요”
(Look at me, I have bloomed prettily
Even if I fall to the ground
I will make you walk only on flower paths)
Works Cited:
Jacobryan. “Sejeong (세정) of Gugudan – Flower Road (꽃길) » Color Coded Lyrics.” Color Coded Lyrics, 25 Oct. 2017, colorcodedlyrics.com/2016/11/sejeong-flower-road.
“Sejeong’s ‘Flower Path’ Is a Much-Needed Healing Song This Season.” Seoulbeats, 30 July 2017, seoulbeats.com/2016/11/sejeongs-flower-path-is-a-much-needed-healing-song-this-season/.
