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first draft first essay

Najja Hennix                                                                                                  Feb. 27, 2016 English 1121                                                                                          Professor: Guthrie   First Draft Pair Edit   I never had a brother or a sister, but I did not want nor need one. I would think that if my parents had another child I would lose their attention. I did not need siblings because in my head I already I had one, my cousin. We grew up so close that most people thought we were sibling. That is also how we treated each other. It seemed that the more we grow older the more we grow apart. Losing a friendship/brotherly bond with my cousin hurt mentally and emotionally, but in the long run it helped me learn more about myself.   “Perhaps it's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be.” Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game. The more you pretend to be something, the more you actually become it.   For as long as I can remember we were together. We grew up in my grandmothers’ house. For the first quarter of our lives we were joined at the hip. If you ever watch the cartoon Batman and Robin you could understand our relationship. He was Batman, the leader and the one with the crazy ideas. I was Robin, ready to go with any plan…partners in crime. I feel like every other weekend we were in trouble from some dumb idea he made up and I went along with.   I just finish my first year of high school and summer had just started. My cousin was going to stay with me for the summer. He is a year older than me so he was getting ready to start his junior year in high school. Ever since he started high school he wanted to known as the “cool guy/tough guy.” So he started hanging with people from our block. Now I live in Harlem, and if you ever been to Harlem you know there is a group of guys on every corners just standing around looking for trouble. My cousin and I have never been in that crowd but now he wanted to be.   He began to sneak out and I would have to cover for him. He was not the same person anymore. He finally got the group of friends he wanted. He put that group of friends over everything. I was no longer in the picture. One of his friends’s liked me and we being to date. My cousin knew he had a girlfriend but never told me. I lost my virginity to this boy and told my cousin what happened. My cousin never told me he had a girlfriend even after I told him about me losing my virginity.   One day I was looking through my cousins’ phone and saw a picture of my “boyfriend” and his girlfriend. My cousin was the one who took the picture of them. My heart broke, literally for two hours my heart actually hurt. The part that hurt me the most is that he did not tell me. I felt like the butt in of a joke.   It gets worst ladies and gentleman. The guys my cousin called his friends started to make rumor about me.   They began to call me a hoe, a slut, and a home wrecker. The person that was supposed to defend me would laugh with them. He even got mad at me and said I messed up his friendship with the boys by being a hoe.   I never felt so hurt, not only was my reputation messed up but the person who was suppose to know me better than anymore believed the rumors. I learned the best way to not get your heart broken is to pretend you don’t have one. I become very cold. I did not want to be around my family or friends because I felt as everyone was against and/or talking behind my back. But the more I pretend to be cold hearted the more I was becoming cold. Losing a friendship/brotherly bond with my cousin hurt mentally and emotionally, but in the long run it help me learn about myself. After seeing yourself and others for their true color, I learned how I want to love. Even though it hurt it help me become a stronger person. Also not to care what people think about me?