I felt like an accomplished man yesterday. For one, I woke up. drank some water, went downstairs to the living room and had gotten my daily exercise routine out of the way early in the morning (around 5AM). Admittedly I never really proceeded to work out throughout the rest of the day, but to make up for that I’ve been on a small, but not so strict diet. My breakfast were a bacon, egg and cheese croissant (usually I’d buy another for the 2 for $5 deal) and two hash browns from Dunkin’ Donuts. It was practically a hefty meal all things considered, but it satisfied my morning appetite nonetheless. This was followed by my dinner meal, which was just peanut butter on bread (I would really a call it a meal so to speak than just a prime-time snack).
This may sound counter-intuitive to what I said about my diet not being strict, I wanted to experiment how much weight I would had I only ate those two meals. Before exercising that morning I weighed myself on the digital scale in the bathroom: 242.6lb. That night my weight was 242.4, which may not sound that huge of a loss to the average person, but it was satisfying progress in my eyes. I did feel a sliver of disappointment upon finding out that I only lost 0.2lbs, but being the optimist that I am, I quietly said to myself, “Yeah…that’s some progress”. I could imagine a celestial golden-white light beaming through my brain; that I was able to make progress like, even if it’s small.
These events could relate to Joan Didion’s idea of the “implacable ‘I'” because I feel as though if this would be another other person writing this, the events would be slightly changed. Maybe said person would look at his results and feel disappointed, discouraged even, because they expected a much bigger payoff. Meanwhile I looked at it on a more optimist point-of-view. I think all of this really correlates the core of the implacable I, which is identity. Your identity; who you are, what do you see, how do you see things.
