Textual Analysis Essay draft #1 and draft #2

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Giomara Castillo

October 17, 2015

English 1101-D323

Textual Analysis Essay-Draft #2

A Phenomenal Woman Is Far From Just Being Pretty

 

“Culture stereotypes women to fit the myth by flattering the feminine into beauty-without-intelligence or intelligence-without-beauty; women are allowed a mind or a body but not both,”Naomi Wolf said. The poem entitled, “Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou    addresses feminine beauty in terms of confidence, personality, and determination.

Confidence comes from being free and happy with whatever shape or size you are. The author shows a great confidence with her body and a deep sense of being a woman. Angelou says, “I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size/ But when I start to tell them,/They think I’m telling lies.” She is saying that she is not the prettier woman, nor does she fit the perfect size to be a model, however when she walks into a room everybody stares at her. She doesn’t feel cocky or superior, she feels powerful because she has such a confidence within herself that nobody can make her feel miserable. She continues saying, “I say,/It’s in the reach of my arms/The span of my hips,/The stride of my step,/The curl of my lips./I’m a woman/ Phenomenally./ Phenomenal woman,/That’s me.” She is so confident that she repeatedly calls herself a phenomenal woman.

Poet Angelou states further of her confidence that she has a body of her own, meaning she has the body that she wants to have even if it doesn’t fit the so-called “essential feminine traits” such as having a flat stomach, big hips, long hair. Angelou shows confidence by saying, “I walk into a room/ Just as cool as you please, /And to a man,/ The fellows stand or/ Fall down on their knees./ Then they swarm around me,/A hive of honey bees”. She is saying that other women, who she thinks are prettier than her feel superior and ask her how she does it and when she tells them where her confidence comes from and tries to reveal her joy so that the rest can be as confident and fulfilled as she is they don’t believe it, because they follow the rest of the society and their idea of a perfect woman. Women that are not confident believe that the woman who comes out on the covers of magazines or models are perfect. However, they don’t see the daily struggles that these females have to go through every day trying to maintain their body in a perfect shape in order to fit  the category of a perfect woman. All the women who have the so-called essential feminine traits  are not perfect. Some of them suffer from depression because they believe that they are not fit or pretty enough for society to consider them perfect. By writing this poem, Maya was trying to send a message that all women are beautiful no matter what.

Personality is a trait that defines who you are as a human being. Maya argues that true self-expression lies in a successful personality. Body language can express your personality in many ways. She says that every gesture, every shape in her body causes people to look at her with admiration. With her personality she impresses men and intrigues women in a way that they feel intimidated. She says, “The fellows stand or/Fall down on their knees./Then they swarm around me,/A hive of honey bees./I say,/It’s the fire in my eyes,/And the flash of my teeth,/The swing in my waist,/And the joy in my feet.” This shows that Maya is not influenced by the views of others. The poet, Angelou suggests that beauty is far from just having the looks of a model. Beauty is also determined by the way she has her head on her shoulders, her positive personality, and her ability to not let anything bring down her pride. A phenomenal woman is more than just having a good physical appearance.

If your determination to succeed is strong enough you will never give up. Maya wrote this poem to provide females with messages and ways to lead them to success. One of them is determination. Even though Angelou does not send a clear message about determination, she says, “Now you understand/ Just why my head’s not bowed./I don’t shout or jump about/Or have /to talk real loud/ When you see me passing/ It ought to make you proud.” This means that even though she is not like the rest of the pretty girls with a nice body, she is determined enough to walk inside of a room full of judgmental people and make herself noticed. She doesn’t need to act like a fool to get all the attention but is determined to have a good personality and be confident in herself. Lastly, Angelou said, “I’m a woman/ Phenomenally./Phenomenal woman,/That’s me.” This means that gender is not an obstacle to pursue your dreams.As long as you are determined, you will achieve many things that were once neglected due to gender differences.  A bright future comes with a lot of obstacles, but no matter how many times you want to give up, your determination will keep your head up and will make you think of new ways to overcome all those obstacles.

In conclusion, the poem entitled “A Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou addresses feminine beauty. A woman does not need to have a pretty face or have a perfect body in order to get all the attention. She just needs to be confident enough to let other people feel jealous and inferior not in a negative way, but in a way where the rest want to know the secret of being so self-confident. A phenomenal woman is not only based on physical appearance but rather it is a woman with a great personality and a way of carrying herself without being cocky or making a fool of herself trying to get all the attention. A determination is the key for all the success, no matter how many times you fail. Therefore, if your determination to succeed is strong enough you will get through any obstacle presented to you.

 

Textual Analysis Essay Outline

Giomara Castillo

October 13, 2015

English 1101-D323

Textual Analysis Essay Outline

Opening:

“Culture stereotypes women to fit the myth by flattering the feminine into beauty-without-intelligence or intelligence-without-beauty; women are allowed a mind or a body but not both”- Naomi Wolf.

  1. Thesis:

This essay is about a poem entitled “Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou addresses feminine beauty in terms of confidence, self-respect and determination

II.1 Intelligence is the door to success.

  2 Confidence comes from being free and happy of being who you are in whatever shape or size you come in

3. Having self-respect allows other people to respect you the way you want to me respected also it portraits as who you are.

Summary of “Free Schools,” by Dewitt Clinton

Giomara Castillo

October 4, 2015

Class 1101-D323

Summary

In“Free Schools” by DeWitt Clinton, Clinton believes that education should be for everyone and school should be free that way everybody could be able to attend to school and educate themselves. He brings up people such as John Locke and says that Locke used to think that education was not that important. Clinton suggests that a good education would stop the ignorance, the main cause of most of the crimes and the root of bad governments. He points out the type of education a wealthy kid would receive and how poor can the education of a low-class member be. Almost as it only rich people would have the right to knowledge while the poor would have to spend the rest of their lives being excluded from this right.

 

Peer Review-Ehsan Zarghani

Giomara Castillo

September 27,2015

Class 1101-D323

Peer editing – Ehsan Zarghani

He doesn’t have a title

Thesis and 3 subtopics:

My experience in becoming a lifeguard has been challenging in terms of

1 Rescuing victims from a life or death situation.

2 Keeping my body fit enough to help me get an advantage.

3 Having a partner to help me understand my strengths and weaknesses.

Subtopics

1 Becoming a lifeguard has been challenging mainly because I wasn’t mentally and physically prepared to start rescuing victims from a life or death situation.

2 Keeping my body fit enough was another challenge I had to face while becoming a lifeguard.

3 Having a partner helped me to understand my strengths and weaknesses.

Transitional words

Needs more transitional words

Grammar and Convention

– Needs to indent the paragraphs.

– Need to be more organized with his ideas

– He has a lot of spelling errors

Conclusion

He doesn’t have a conclusion

 

Summary of the essay “The Money” by Junot Diaz

Giomara Castillo

September 27,2015

Class 1101-D323

Summary

     “The money” by Junot Diaz is an essay about a life event that happened when he was 12 years old. He starts his essay by describing his family’s economic situation, his mother didn’t have a stable job and his father was always losing his job. They lived in a small apartment, they never had any snacks, sodas or any good food that would contribute to their nutrition. Despite the fact that they didn’t have enough money to sustain themselves, his mother managed to save $200 to 300$ to send it to Dominican republic for her parents, One day they went to a family vacation and they came back they saw that their house was a mess it was obvious that somebody broke into their house to steal. They thieves took all the money that his mother was saving to send it to her parents but instead of his mother being mad at the thieves she was mad at him and the rest of her kids, she was blaming them for the robbery.

     Days after the robbery he was telling some of the stories to his friends and he noticed something suspicious. He saw that they weren’t taking him serious so immediately he knew it was them the ones that stole the money. So he decided to do the same thing and break into the thieves house to get the money back and fortunately he did. It took him two days to return the money to his mother he wanted to keep it, but he was feeling guilty on his conscience so he decided to give it back to her. He expected her to be happy or, at least, excited to get the money back, but he thought wrong she was acting like the rest of the days.

Narrative essay draft #1 & Draft #2

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Giomara Castillo

October 27, 2015

English 1101-D323

Narrative Essay-Draft #2

Finding My Own Identity

     “We way we treat identical twins is strikingly similar to the way we treat celebrities”- Caroline Paul said. Finding my own identity? It might sound crazy to some of you.You may wonder to  yourself, aren’t we born with our own identity? Well, not in my case. I came into this world in the company of a twin sister. Having a twin is probably one of the best feelings in the world, however, it can get complicated and annoying. Everywhere we go there are people asking us a lot of questions, publicly people assume that we are the same, and lastly our own family often can’t tell us apart.

     Everywhere we go people always ask us a lot of questions. Now that my sister works, and goes to a different college we barely go out together. However when we do, we always get a lot of attention. People stare at us and look confused trying to figure out if we are twins and that’s when the questioning starts. Who was born first? How does it feel to be twins? Do you guys dress alike? How often do you guys fight? They always ask the same questions. I get annoyed especially when I’m not in a good mood and when people give me a weird look. Most of the time I wish people wouldn’t give us that much attention just because we are twins but more by virtue of myself and personality.

      Even though we are twins, we are not the same. We have different feelings, personalities, and opinions. People tend to judge both of us based on the behavior of one of us, thinking that just because one of us commits a mistake the other one is going to do the same. I’m a calm person and sociable. My twin sister is more aggressive and she doesn’t like meeting new people however we both have no patience and we do not tolerate disrespectful people. However, based on the fact that my sister is aggressive and overprotective, most of the people we meet tend to think that they don’t have the need to get to us individually. I would like people to take their time and get to know me more instead of just assuming things.

     It feels so good to have a twin who is more than a sister, and that she really is my best friend, but there is always a problem with being twins, such as looking so much alike that my  family often can’t tell us apart. My family has been over-protective with both of us and they have always spoiled us in every way they could, especially because we are the only twins in the family. They always felt the need to be there for us through good and bad times.Even though they have been there for us most of our lives, they can’t tell us apart. Every Time they see us, they ask us which one is Giomara and which is Johanna. When we were little, I would usually wear a red bracelet and my sister a blue bracelet. That was the only way they could tell us apart, but now when they give up on trying to figure out which one is which they just yell “Gemelas” which means twins in English. 

     Despite all the struggles, that I have to go through being a twin, I still think that I need my twin more than anything. I might have days when I can’t stand people asking me questions, or when  people are staring at us from head to toe but, in the end, it feels good to at least have someone to truly trust and know that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. Even when she does I know it wasn’t on purpose. Each day I figure out a way for my family to tell us apart. The only I thing I hate dealing with and would like to change is the way people think  that we are the same and that they don’t have the need to know us individually.

Personal Narrative Essay Outline

Giomara Castillo

September 20, 2015

1101-D323

Homework – outline

 

Finding my own identity

  1. Intro

Finding my own identity? it might sound crazy. You will think to yourself, aren’t we born we born with our own identity?. Not in my case, I came to this world with the company of a twin sister. Having a twin sister is probably one the best things in the world, only those born twins will understand. However, it can get complicated and annoying. Everywhere we go there are people asking us a lot of questions, there’re other people that assume that we are the same, think and feel the same and that’s not always true, and lastly we look exactly alike that even my own family gets confused.

  1. Body.

1.People always ask us million of questions such as who was born fist? Do you guys fight a lot? How does it feel to have a twin? It’s good to get attention but when I’m not in a good mood I get really irritated.

  1. We are not the same, we might look exactly alike, but we think different. We have our own opinions, If we were the same we wouldn’t argue the way we do.
  2. When we were born my mom had to put our bracelets of different colors so my family could know who was me and who was my sister. Usually, my sister would wear a blue bracelet and I would wear a red bracelet. But now it’s hard because we don’t wear the bracelets anymore. Every Time they see us they get confused and stare at me for at least a minute trying to figure out if I’m Giomara or Johanna.

III Conclusion

Having a twin is a blessing, at least that’s what I think. I don’t care if the whole world doesn’t like me at the end I still feel complete because I have my twin more than a sister, she is my best friend. But of course, everything good has its own bad side. Sometimes I feel like the rest of my life people will always remind me as the one of the twins and not for who I am.

 

Questions for essay,”A Chinaman’s Change:Reflections on the American Dream,”by Eric Liu

Giomara Castillo

September 14,2015

1101-D323

Homework

 

1 Yezierska’s first impression was a land full of opportunities She compares it to her life in Russia by saying that America gives her freedom while in Russia she felt like a prisoner.

2 She aspires to find  a job and live to the fullest. She must work to get money to pay for food and shelter.

3 I don’t think her Americanized family treats her fairly because they take advantage of her, she works for them without receiving any money, she had a place to stay and three meals a day, but that wasn’t enough she needed money to buy clothes.

4 The best part of her second job on Delancey Street was that she didn’t have to work all day long and night, she had the whole afternoon for herself, even though the money earned by working in there wasn’t enough she felt free. She ended up losing the job because everything changed, there was more work and the wage was the same she didn’t have time for herself anymore.

5 Anzina prefers a job where she would be able to use her thinking and feelings. Not knowing how to read, write and speak proper English stopping her from finding the job that she wants.

6 I agree with the author’s argument that immigrants should receive free room and board until they find a job to maintain themselves, because it is so hard to survive in a place without knowing the language, having to get used to a new culture and not knowing your rights.

7 From the pilgrims, she learned that she had to build her own future and not wait for others to do it for her. This knowledge transforms her idea of what takes to succeed in America by giving her some advice and ideas to build her own future.

8 The author utilizes the concepts of hunger and appetite to bring out her thesis by showing how the character strives and thinks of ways to achieve her goals.