This language narrative was an interesting writing topic and one that I have not experienced writing about until now. I appreciated that it was a personal piece rather than a typical essay prompt surrounding literature. Using a recent real-life experience and telling the narrative from a first-hand perspective was something I enjoyed more than I thought I would.
My goal for the reader was for them to be able to “stand in my shoes” and sit in my thoughts, feelings and surroundings. The challenges I faced were little about me, but more so regarding the man in my narrative. I felt my narrative was suffering from some sort of bias at one point because I could only talk about the man from my perspective and not from his.
Adding descriptions and details became tricky as well. As short and brief as the exchange was, there was so much detail packed within a matter of 5 minutes, which I had not realized until I continued adding on to my writing. The order the details were in was also important for storytelling.
I wanted to use this as an opportunity to expand the idea of language and what it could actually mean outside of what someone would expect. The conversation at the center of my narrative truly did not have much dialogue but it was a situation where language was eminently present in more ways than one.
I understand what you’re saying about bias, but honestly the only perspective you have is your own. What matters in this is that you’re telling us what you truly felt and experienced, not someone’s idea of “it’s supposed to be this way.” And you did that well. It was a very powerful story with great insight!