English 1101 Fall 2019 Section 413
Composition 1
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I almost cried because of how authentic your writing is, it felt like I was Digging Into Your life, discovering your purpose on never giving up.
Lesly, your writing was astonishing. Because of your corsages decision to write about a confidential struggle. You were able to evolve your writing to a new level. Allowing you to convey yourself and your emotions clearly through pen and paper. It was a big leap. But it helped cultivate a better you. Even though your writing captures your audience at a mention and emotional level, you still had miner mistakes. I know that you were writing from the heart so it is bound to happen. And besides you weren’t assigned much time to edit. All I saw was some punctuation error, and missed sentence/paragraph placement. All in all, I say your a excellent writer. You can only get better from here. Sharpen your blade and hone your talent.
– Danicel
Lesly, your writing was astonishing. Because of your corsages decision to write about a confidential struggle. You were able to evolve your writing to a new level. Allowing you to convey yourself and your emotions clearly through pen and paper. It was a big leap. But it helped cultivate a better you. Even though your writing captures your audience at a mention and emotional level, you still had miner mistakes. I know that you were writing from the heart so it is bound to happen. And besides you weren’t assigned much time to edit. All I saw was some punctuation error, and missed sentence/paragraph placement. All in all, I say your a excellent writer. You can only get better from here. Sharpen your blade and hone your talent.
– Danicel
In my opinion this essay was so surreal and amazing ,you talked about probably the most emotional experience you ever had.Being able to share your story with us was so courageous of you and you told it so nicely in such a short a amount time that you had to write it.The only mistakes in your writing that I’ve seen is punctuation and capitalization on some names.Other than that the story was told nicely ,definitely captivating.
-Roy
It was really emotional and hard touching story. You are brave enough that’s why you was able to face all this issue. Jest keep one thing in your mind ‘Life is Game of Competition’ there is lot of obstacles you have to face, so never give up.
Your essay was so personal and real to me, I loved how you put so much detail and was just so authentic about everything. I personally think that this was your story so you choose how you want to structure it and how you want to tell it.
Lesly, your essay was really deep and I think it was really brave of you to share your story with us. It was truly inspiring how you were able to rise from your fall, over all your essay was great.
Your essay is one of the most powerful stories that I’ve ever read, with no doubt you are a strong woman, smart and capable that can make anything that you wish real. This is really a good essay the way it is narrated makes me fell like in your shoes and that maximizes the impact of your writing.
Your essay was touching. You a strong person for sharing with us such an emotional story. Your essay was pretty good aside from a few punctuation errors. The lesson that you learned was a valuable lesson that can teach others , like me not to be so trusting.
I thought it was a well rounded essay with a clear story and clear message at the end. Only problems are you could organize the story and the lesson better, saving the lesson for the last paragraph or something like that. Besides that and punctuation, really touching essay.
Your essay was well organized and the way you talked about a very personal issue. I felt like i was in your shoes reading your story because of how your wrote your story. you a few punctuation videos but i love how you ended your story and the lesson you learned
Your story was very touching with an important message, especially now. I think now, more than ever, it’s important to not rely on anybody and to always have your own back. You’re so strong for sharing your story, and I think everyone who read it appreciates it and you. Thank you Lesly.
Lesly, it was really brave of you to share this educational experience with the rest of the class. I thought it was amazing. Dealing with life, while juggling so many things at the same time, is indeed stressful. I am still confused though, whether that was your baby or not. Regardless, it was great but, I do want to say that you could’ve structured it differently and oh please, watch out for grammatical errors. Good job!
Your essay was very deep and I know that sometime its very hard to talk about things that are very personal to us. But your essays was very well organized. You were able to take your readers through what was happening and I was able to picture almost everything as I was reading it. There are some grammar mistakes.
This wasn’t a easy story to tell and I know because this exact same thing happened to me. I’m proud that you were able to tell your story. Your essay was well organized and it really made me have a picture in my head of the actual events. I would say tweak some of the vocabulary and grammar. Overall proud of you great story.
Lesly I definitely appreciate that you shared this with us. This was a struggle for you and it broke my heart learning what you went through honestly. Its really tuff going through something like this and the feeling of betrayal is sometimes unbearable. I believe that god puts his strongest soldiers in the toughest situations and it is displayed in your essay that you over came it. Glad to see you in the classroom today working toward your future with all this. Very few grammatical mistakes but overall really enjoyed your story. Thanks Again for sharing this with us all.
Lesly your essay was really great. Thank you for sharing such a deep situation that you’ve been through in your life. In the process of doing so you also put it in a way you attracted your readers attention. You’ve put enough information to make the readers feel like they were with you while the things were going on. Rephrasing some sentences is what i would recommend and putting some stronger and deeper words to make it really stand out.
This was a touching story and appreciate you sharing such a sensitive topic with the class. If your feeling up to it maybe you can write more about the phone call with your aunt and how that made you feel which further proves your point that you cant rely on anyone.
tbh i loved your essay it showed so much about you and the difficulties you had and seeing that you made it through and look at you now better than ever is great, your story was very inspirational and motivated great job