Yashoda Sukhnath

02/18/14

Eng 1121-D428

Essay #1

Trust is having confidence in someone that you can rely on for anything. Not everyone can trust people easily ; it takes weeks , months , or even years for a person to put all there trust into them. The reason for someone not trusting a person might be because of betrayal or even someone accusing you of doing something. Everyone takes their time and has their own reasons why they should or should not trust anyone. It all depends on someone’s history in the past, what they been through that lead on to the future and the reason they react in a certain way. A trustworthy person is someone you can put your trust into and be guaranteed that their trust will not be betrayed. Also, its someone you can tell your secrets and fears to and know they wouldn’t recite anyone without your acknowledgment. In order for trust to be earned , honesty and worth must be shown in a period of time.

In middle school ,  I was the age of 12 when I met my best friend . We were friends for at least 2 years. We counted on each other for everything and anything. She was always there for me likewise I was always there for her when needed. We would attend parties , movies and dinner together . There was no one else I wanted to be friends with than her.  She was the definition of a best friend. I always had her back no matter what. In middle school a lot of my friends didn’t get along with her because of her smart mouth. Everyone disliked her because of her rudeness. But I made them at least try to see who she really is. I saw passed that and tried to stand up for her . She might act all tough but in the inside she has heart just like everyone else. But not everyone saw her like the way I did . I treated her the way I would want to be treated. I agree she’s stubborn at times and wouldn’t want to accommodate with my friends but she confronts me about the whole situation. The way she feels about everyone not liking her or them  not seeing her like the way I do. I never told anyone this because I felt bad because deep down she does care but pretends it doesn’t bother her.

With this being said, my heart was always open to trust everyone. I didn’t have a difficult time doing so, I would always let people in easily without a hesitation. Likewise, everyone that I met was assured they can trust me with anything . It didn’t matter what the situation was , it could of been their problems they had with anyone else or someone they feared or liked. I always kept it with me , not reminiscing with anyone.

But unfortunately , I guess threes people out there you will come across in your life that can’t be trusted. In my experience I came across that a few times where I couldn’t trust my friends. But there’s one incident that occurred in my life that changed me the way I am today. Even though it happened many years ago it still bothers me that my so called best friend was so disloyal and not knowing she could of actually be that way behind my back.

Even though she was my best friend she always envied me. I wasn’t quite sure why she would . But I realized anytime I had a new outfit or shoes she would always comment on them. For example, one morning we were in class undressing our sweaters/jackets to put in our lockers. When she made a smart remark saying ” Angie you should of got something else”  or “Why did you get that sweater ?” I always question myself about this but never really paid attention to it because she was my best friend how could she be jealous of me and not confront me about it. It didn’t make any sense to me. But one afternoon, in front the school building around 2:45 when school was over. Her cousin who also attends the same school as us was standing with her talking to me. That day it was really sunny out about 85 degrees or so. So I decided to wear a dress. Her cousin commented about my dress saying “I love your dress, its really pretty. I need some of your clothes”. I just laughed at her statement not knowing what she really meant about it. Then my best friend comments and says ” We need to steal her closet “.  Again I was just laughing not paying attention to them. Until later on that day , I was home in my bedroom thinking about what they said. I then realized that she really was jealous of me for the past year. Everything just made sense, I finally put the pieces together without knowing I did.

A couple of weeks later , I was walking home when I was near to my house . I was looking for my keys to open the door. But couldn’t find my keys anywhere , I was unsure what I did with the keys. I knew I had my keys all along in my book bag. Where could of the keys been ? When I turned the door knob it opened, I was worried because I knew my parents nor my sister was home. So how can it be opened when no one was home? I was thinking really hard of where I could of put them , but still didn’t have an answer. When my parents came home that day I told them I misplaced my keys and can’t find it . So my father decided to give me his keys until I find mine.

The next day I went to school, trying to find my keys in my locker. I shared my locker with my best friend and with another classmate. As I was doing so , I saw my keys in my best friends bag. At first I wasn’t sure if it was mine or hers. But it had to be because I had a pooh bear key chain on my keys. So I was positive that it had to be mine. I didn’t understand why she would have it though. I thought she found them and probably was going to give me it back. I didn’t take it out her bag because that would be invading her privacy , so I just waited until later on in the afternoon.  It was around 1:00 when my classmates and I arrived from lunch . I was eating gum so I decided to put the gum wrapper in the garbage. While I was doing so , I saw my poor bear keychain in the garbage. I was shocked , why would she throw it away? I was so confused by her actions, I didn’t know what she was up to.

In class we sat together in groups . I thought if she didn’t want to give my keys back for some strange reason then I would take it my self. But I made sure it was mine first before I took them. I was waiting for her to leave her seat so I can grab them from her bag. A few minutes later she went to the teacher asking for help with the class work. So I decided right there and then I would take it. I had the chance without her even knowing. When I took them out I walked quickly back to my seat which was right around the table. I reached in my bag to take my dads keys so I can measure the ones she took to see if it was alike. Unfortunately , both the keys she took and my dads keys matched exactly the same. I was praying for the keys not to match because I had so much faith in her ,how could she had done this to me and why would she do it. All of a sudden my body was heated. I was shaking with disappointment. At that moment I had no emotions , I didn’t know if I should cry, scream, laugh or be scared. My feeling was mutual .

When she arrived back to her seat she opened her bag so she can put some papers in . While doing so she noticed the keys was missing. Her face went blank, she didn’t know what to do . I asked her if everything was okay , she said yes everything is fine. I was feeling happy for a little while because I found my keys but yet I was appalled of what she had done. When I went home , I just started to think about everything possible on why she would do this to me. Did she really want to steal my clothes ? I didn’t know whose idea it was , if it was her cousins or hers. But either way she was my best friend she didn’t have to go along with the plan. She could of objected to it. I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to come in my house and steal my clothes. But when I checked everywhere in my house, everything was there nothing was missing. But thinking about everything that happened made me sick to my stomach. I was relieved yet still disturbed.

When I went back to school, it was the only thing I had on my mind . So I was determined to ask her about the whole incident. So I approached her:

Me: Did you take my keys out from my bag ?

Friend: Keys ? No.

Me: Are you sure ?

Friend: Yes

Me: That’s odd because I saw them in your bag.

Friend: I don’t know how it got in your bag.

Me: So you’re saying that someone took my keys out of my bag and placed them in yours ?

Friend: Probably , who knows ?

Me: WOW ! Okay.

At that moment I knew she really wasn’t my best friend , she mislead me for the past 2 years and lied in front of my face. It felt like someone took my heart out of my chest and just stomped all over it. I felt hurt knowing as her best friend she didn’t even care how I would feel. I didn’t mention anything to anyone because I felt embarrassed what she had done. I couldn’t face being humiliated by all my friends. I knew what they would of told me so I just kept it to myself. From that day on , she changed my feelings towards her . I didn’t see her as someone I could trust ever again. She knew what she did was wrong so she didn’t have the courage to apologize to me. We stopped talking to each other for the rest of the year. She made me look like a fool always standing up for her no matter what and now she decides to turn her back on me. I just couldn’t deal with it , so I had to let her go. I didn’t want to associate myself with her.

From this day on I could never trust anyone in the way I trusted her. She was the last person I trusted so easily and let into my life without a hesitation. Now it’s difficult for me to have confidence in someone that won’t betray me. Meeting new people is a challenge for me not knowing who you can put your trust into and who you cannot. Until this day I have a tough time meeting new people because I’ve learned that people would put up a act just to get what they want. It doesn’t matter if anyone gets hurt , they would try their best to achieve their goal. She made me realize how much I trusted and had faith in her. That I couldn’t do it again because I was shaken with what she had done. I felt I couldn’t trust anyone in my life. It was hard to believe but I couldn’t help the way I feel. It was too much to handle all at once.