Both Esther form The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and Ifemelu from Americanah by Chimanada Ngozi Adiche, have first sexual encounters that did not meet their preconceived expectations even though with the person of their choosing.
Esther had long thought of losing her virginity, particularly to Buddy Willard. However, with Buddy admitting his encounter with a waitress, Esther no longer viewed him as a viable candidate and felt increasing pressure to rid herself of her virginity. Yet she still held the moment in high esteem;
Ever since I’d learned about the corruption of Buddy Willard my virginity weighed like a millstone around my neck. It had been of such importance to me for so long that my habit was to defend it at all costs. I had been defending it for five years and I was sick of it. (Plath 228)
Esther having already divided the world in two realities, “those who had had sex and those who had not” (Plath) was determined to switch sides. To this point, she had place extra emphasis on the act and during her encounter with Irwin she “…lay, rapt and naked on Irwin’s rough (Italics mine) blanket, waiting for the miraculous change to make itself felt.” (Plath 229). Needless to say, it was a painful and bloody disappointment resulting in a somewhat embarrassed.
Wrecked by high expectations “She did not want him to stop, but she had imagined this differently, assumed they would make a carefully planned ceremony of it” (Adiche 113) and racked by guilt and fear of pregnancy she professed it was a “weak copy… a discomfort nagged at her,.. tense through it all… She had imagined his mother watching them” (Adiche 113). Ifemelu’s first sexual experience although not entirely the same as Esther’s, started with high expectations and from there deteriorated quite rapidly.
Although not as immediate as with Esther, the moment was made worse when a week later an un related ailment made Ifemelu fear she was pregnant resulting in her having to consult both her aunt and Obinze’s mother as well as requiring medical attention. Ifemelu and Obinze both received a scolding from his mother as to the level of irresponsibility that they have both have demonstrated and the need for both to act more maturely from here onwards.
Works Cited
Adiche, Chimanda Ngozi. Americanah. Anchor Books, 2014. Print
Plath, Sylvia. The Bell Jar. New York: Evanston, San Francisico, London , Harper & Row
Publishers. 1971. Print
It is interesting that both books show the realness of first sexual encounter. People have this ideal expectation of how they want their first time and how it is gonna be. I like the realness portray of it. Both books are saying, not every first time is as romantic as people make it seems to be. And it feels like the main characters are being punished by being sick for not waiting for marriage to have sex which is what society tells people.
Yes, it is *because* of these idealized expectations that both women were disappointed in the real thing!
I like the title you chose for your post. I also agree how both novels showed how disappointing a girls first time can be and that its not always what they expect it to be. Just like with Esther and Ifemelu like you mentioned.