Essay 1 Outline.
- Title: Define Your Own Life.
- Introduction: Analysis of how society views gender roles in relation to The Bell Jar.
- Thesis Statement: Esther has expected gender roles as a female from people in her everyday life but throughout The Bell Jar, you see her sometimes ignore those expectations and decide that this is her life.
- Body Paragraph 1: Shows the way the people involved in her everyday life push her to follow societies expectations. People such as her mother, Mrs. Greenwood, Doreen, Betsy, and Mrs. Willard have their own interpretations of the female roles Esther must play in her life.
- Body Pargraph 2 The way Esther ignores the expectations being thrown at her and what results from that. Also the way in which it effects her, causing her mental illness.
- Body Paragraph 3: The connection my thesis statement has in relation to The Feminine Mystique.
- Conclusion: Restating my thesis and more details that support it, along with a closing statement of the effect societies expectations have on peoples lives.
Hi Berline, I see that you have refined your thesis since we spoke in class, and it is better! Your body paragraphs, as you have described them here, are doing a lot. You are making big claims in each body paragraph. For example, in body paragraph 2 if you argue that “the way Esther ignores the expectations being thrown at her and what results from that. Also the way in which it effects her, causing her mental illness,” you will have to analyze quotes to show that Esther ignores the expectations thrown at her (by the people you describe in the previous paragraph). Then you will have to show how each of those instances leads directly to her mental illness. That means if you provide 4 examples of expectations being thrown at her (Mrs. Greenwood, Doreen, Betsy, and Mrs. Willard), you will have to provide 4 instances in which she ignores each of their expectations, and then 4 instances to prove that this leads to her mental health decline. That’s a lot!
I would like you to consider reorganizing your essay in the following way: Include the paragraph 3 information in your introduction to establish the problem of femininity using The Feminine Mystique. Then have your body paragraphs structured around the various characters you list. For example, BP 1 would show how Esther’s mother had a specific vision of femininity (describe it), give evidence to show how she imposes those particular expectations on Esther, give evidence to show how Esther ignores those expectations, then give evidence to show how this contributes to Esther’s mental health decline. BP 2 would do the same thing but focusing on the character of Doreen, BP 3 would focus on Betsy, and BP 4 would focus on Mrs. Willard.
I think this restructuring will really help you argue all of your points convincingly!
LW
Thank you so much professor for you’re advice. Ever since we spoke in class I was working on ways to improve it before I seen this message, which I’m now seeing and actually decided to change everything and work on something new. I wanted to email you my new ideas/thesis and get you’re opinion and if it isn’t good enough ill just continue where I left off with this thesis and make the changes you suggested.
Or I can just post here.
My introduction: The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath deals with the many issues women faced back in the 1900s during the second wave of the women’s movement, issues that still exist today. Issues such as feminist power, female gender roles, female sexuality, societal pressure, and one I found most interesting the search for identity. Many women are faced with the decision of living two different lives, the decision between female expectations required by society and the way they would prefer to live their own lives. It becomes a struggle in one’s life when the world expects you to be something that you’re not and is forced to live a lie; this can all cause a person to lose their sense of self. Esther faces many expectations as a female in her everyday life and throughout The Bell Jar; you begin to notice how she struggles with finding her sense of identity.
Body paragraphs would include:
1. How Esther would sometimes go under a fake name and why she does that.
2. Explaining how some of the women in her life have to do with her having problems with finding her identity by their expectations of her.
3. Using the feminine mystique and the components of gender to support my thesis.
Hi Berline, did you just decide to change everything or have you been working on it for a while? If you just decided to change, I recommend that you go with your previous thesis using my feedback. It seems counterproductive to start over when you have been working on the old thesis for weeks.
If you absolutely want to change your essay, that is up to you. I’m assuming this would be your new thesis: “Esther faces many expectations as a female in her everyday life and throughout The Bell Jar; you begin to notice how she struggles with finding her sense of identity.” This thesis would require that you support what the expectations are that she faces based on her assigned gender. Then you would have to specifically link each of those expectations to her struggle with finding an identity. The breakdown of the body paragraphs here isn’t specific enough for me to give you much feedback on your essay structure, but we will be working with the essay drafts in class tomorrow so I can give you feedback on your more complete draft at that time.
LW
I honestly started working on this new thesis this week since Monday. I definitely have been working on my old thesis longer than this one. I decided to change my thesis because you mentioned how mostly everyone was focusing on gender roles so I wanted to do something different and I find this new thesis more interesting. Its a bit similar to the first one. So I’m going to bring a complete draft of my new thesis tomorrow, that way you can give me more feedback on what I need to improve on or fix like you said.