Author: Dimitri Alexander

Sitting on a tall, wooden stool, unable to take his eyes of off his iPhone glued to his hand (probably playing Candy Crush or checking out the latest posts on Instagram), and wearing a pair of tanned joggers that are way too short for his long, lanky legs, this young guy appears to be rather dismal. I assume the reason for his gloomy countenance stems from the devastating result of Super Bowl LI, due to the fact that he’s sports a New York Giants Jersey (boy, was that a tough game). Upon scanning the rest of his outfit, I notice his once immaculate white Converse are now soiled with God knows what (maybe he likes to run around in dirt— hey, I don’t judge… sometimes). And why is his hair all disheveled and kind of resemble a mop? Does this guy have any knowledge of basic hygiene at all? He should at least wear a beanie with the sloppy condition of his hair right now; however, his facial hair seems to be under control for the most part. Shoot, he’s getting up from his seat now… maybe he sensed I was judging him and his so-called “hygiene”.