“I think you’d be better off working at a McDonalds then even consider a real job that concerns a degree in anything. I’d even be surprised if you get past the application.”
It was Senior year of high school and it was the last few weeks of school. My English teacher, whom I’ve had since the sophomore year was helping me with my last assignment when one thing led to the next she said those words. Of all people, she’s the last person I expected that from. Not only because she was a teacher but she had helped me so much throughout the year and I just felt hurt because It didn’t come out of anger she seemed like she was genuinely serious and If that’s what type of future you saw for me I felt like everything I did was for nothing. The rest of that day I looked back at everything I did throughout the year taking my time trying to figure out what I accomplished. To be quite honest I hadn’t done much and academically I wasn’t trying my best either so she wasn’t necessarily wrong but I decided to use that as fuel. I told myself everything I do now I’m going to give 100% and I’m going to strive for the top nothing less. My first real big step on this path was college. I applied for civil engineering to follow in the footsteps of my father. “Without a destination, there wouldn’t be an adventure,” my dad said, I took my time and wrote down everything I wanted. With that, I made up a plan. A plan as I said to follow in the footsteps of my father but to take the business to the next step, I’m going to take this business to heights my father couldn’t. Every day since then I started working with him, paying attention to everything, communicating with everyone making myself a name. I wanted to guarantee myself the best shot of success I could and to do that there was no room on the plate for breaks or procrastination. Studying every aspect I could about the business. I was meeting clients, doing the work itself to even managing finances. I see why my dad used to drag me to work when I was younger its because I have had the skillset since I was younger my brother and sister were all books smart and never liked to get their hands messy but I was different and I see it now. This is why I decided I’d live on his dream but take it farther than he ever thought was possible. I would not only make him happy but I’ll be able to make myself pleased, to accomplish the one goal I had at the top of my list. Never make anyone put me down and doubt me again.
I feel like as a teacher you’re supposed to motivate your students even when you have a negative thought in your head about them.I’m so sorry that they even said that.I’m so happy you’re proving them wrong and built this confidence.I’m proud of you and applaud you.
With an attitude like that I have no doubt you’ll accomplish your dreams. I’m sorry your teacher would even say something like that to you, but I’m more then glad that you haven’t/ don’t plan on letting it keep you down. I wish you the best on your journey to success
Im glad you proving that teacher wrong and didn’t let those words get to you or stop you become someone and i wish you nothing but the best in your future Business .
It was out of line for a teacher to say something like that to a student when they are the ones who should help us reach the best versions of ourselves. But you didn’t let it bring you down instead you had some time to reflect on it and realize what you wanted to do and how you want to be seen. I see that as something admirable because that comment alone let you set goals and how you’re going to put all your efforts to achieve it
When someone you appreciate tells you negative things, many people seem to give up and let that affect them.Maybe you wanted to hear something nicer that would have motivated you more. Many take those words and don’t try to work on themselves. i’m glad that those words were more like a push to continue and prove people wrong. Keep doing great things.
Ryan
Good start! You have a good quote and you place your opening right in senior year with good CSD concrete specific details. WHO was this teacher?
Can you give a little background DETAILS about your father. WHAT is his job? WHAT type of business does he operate? You imply that you worked for him – WHAT’s the story here? Did you work in Dad’s business after the mean comment from Ms. EnglishTeacherName? What did you do at the job? You do a lot of telling but can you SHOW me WHAT job you did. For example: SHOW me an important event where you met a special client or you were doing financial work.
THEN WHAT was the change in you at school? How did your work experience translate to being a stronger student? Did you relationship with Ms. EnglishTeacher change?
HOw did your senior year change? How di d you change as a student?
NOW—YOU NEED PARAGRAPH BREAKS! Avoid long blocks of text. This is ONE HUGE paragraph!
REMEMBER New Topic = New Paragraph