Analysis of Student Example – Amit Darmalingum

Adrian Coree


  1. The essay includes specific details that make the narrative vivid. For example, the description of the tech office with shelves stocked with computer parts, the monitors displaying recordings, and the cramped workspace paints a clear picture for the reader.
  2. The essay follows a logical sequence, moving from your initial struggles, through the turning point when Ms. Glass challenged you, to the eventual reward of finding a passion for technology. This structure keeps the reader engaged and the story easy to follow.
  3. The narrative does more than just recount events. It reflects on personal growth and the lessons learned from the experience. This shows maturity and self-awareness, making the essay more meaningful.

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