The scariest day of my life was on December 3rd, 2017, you may ask me why?, and ill respond that I almost died In a car accident , I had just went to the pet store with my mom and bought a pet bird because I didn’t have any pets and I thought having a bird would be cute, so I got one and they had asked me if I wanted them to cut its wings off so I had to think about it because I didn’t want my bird to be flying around the house especially if I was going to take him out a lot so I decided to cut his wings. After leaving the store me and my mom drove back home when suddenly my life flashed before my eyes.
I suddenly did not remember a thing. I was unconscious in the car with my face all bruised up and bleeding, I had a few visions that I had remembered in that moment like seeing my mom talk to the police and the ambulance. Then I remembered I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, with many injuries all over my body. I was in shock at everything that had happened. I needed to get stitches on my lip and right eye lid. They gave me numbing shots so I would not feel the pain. I was by myself on the beds I had not seen my mom and I kept asking when I would be able to see her. They finally let me see her on the third day, and I kept asking when I would be able to see her. They finally let me see her on the third day, which is crazy to me, But I was so happy to have seen her. I had suffered many injuries that had affected me physically. I could not even walk because of how injured my back was and I was not able to get up. I also broke my nose, but I was incredibly lucky that it was not obvious and at the time it did not affect my breathing. I had visitors visit me such as family and friends which I appreciated.
I stayed at the first hospital for about 8 days and then I had to be transferred to a different hospital where I stayed for about 3 weeks. I had to go to physical therapy so I could get back to my normal self and they would get me to participate in activities to get me fit again. It was fun sometimes since I would mostly be bored. My lovely sister stayed with me the entire time I was in the hospital, which now I think is such a wonderful thing she could have done knowing that is a lot of days.
Hey Tania,
I see that you have a lot of good ideas. But your story seems to be going way to fast with lack of details. Describe your emotions about getting the wings cut of for your pet. It’s really interesting topic staring with the scene of buying a pet and how that event changes with a traumatic accident. Its a really sad. And it’s really kind of your sister being there for you, supporting you on your hard time to recover. Add more on more detail and scene into the story. Overall, it’s a really interesting story. I would like to know more.
I would love to know more details. Your sentences run on so I kind of get lost in them. I can picture this scene a little bit but it’s missing a lot of info. It’s like a blue and leaves me wanting to know what actually happened.
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PROBLEM: This has nothing to do with your school life. I see you have a story but where is the EDUCATION aspect? Remember this is an Education Narrative.
I think you have spent too much space describing the accident. I suggest shortening this part and getting to the point of the story. HOW DID THIS ACCIDENT, THIS HARDHIP, AFFECT YOUR SCHOOL LIFE.
READ and study the Assignment Unit One. I think you are choosing Option 4 Resilience.