It was the beginning of my junior year and I had just lost the love of my life.We were dating for one year and he was dealing with the loss of his aunt.In December,we were just arguing a lot about things that weren’t worth arguing about.We were arguing about him just not saying a word to me.He had just completely shut me out like I was a stranger to him.He was in the process of grieving and and he was just checked out of his life so he broke up with me.I was devastated It felt like it was the end of the world.I wasn’t eating and all I was doing was sleeping.Forcing myself to eat felt like I had a sickness.My stomach rejected the food.I had lost myself in this dark pit and I didn’t know what to do.I was losing weight uncontrollably.I would cry myself to sleep and my eyes were so puffy that you would think someone punched me in my face.All I ever did was think about him.I had nothing going on for myself to distract him.Sleeping was my only escape.Sleeping all the time made me do my assignments late for school and I just wasn’t being myself.My best friend noticed how different I was.I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I was in complete misery.
One day,my best friend wanted me to come to her mother’s workout class.Her mother is a personal trainer and she has a workout class on Tuesdays and Thursday.I wasn’t sure about going because I hated working out and I hated being sweaty.She said “come on just try it and if you don’t like it,you don’t have to come back”.So, I went and we were in a gym. We were playing with the basketball and just dribbling around. I was terrible at shooting.I missed the complete basketball net.Then,she said “we should join the basketball team this year ” and I said “uh I don’t know about that.I don’t even know how to play”.She insisted on teaching me and training me. I got somewhat better at shooting the ball but I still had some work to do.Around January,basketball tryouts came around.It was kind of awkward.I didn’t know any of these girls except my best friend.My face looked like I was so nervous and my best friend gave me this look of encouragement, as if she’s saying âYouâve got this.â The gym made me feel overwhelmed.The tryouts were a bunch of drills, sprints, and scrimmages. I remember feeling so tired but I kinda liked it.There was this girl named Kimora that I had done one of the drills with. She was so tall and had the biggest afro that you could hide things in there.She made me feel so comfortable.We were tasked with passing each other the ball while running, and I struggled to pass the ball to her but, she was patient and offered helpful tips. After the end of tryouts,the coach told all of us there that we made it. He said ” we have practice tomorrow and welcome to the team.”I couldn’t believe it.I was so excited and relieved.Then I started to realize that I was distracted and I didn’t think about him at all.I had finally found a hobby.Basketball saved me.
It’s amazing how your best friend supports and encourages you, especially when you’re feeling down. She always finds ways to get you out of the house and take your mind off things. She even helped you discover a new hobby and gave you confidence during tryouts by reassuring you that you would do great. Having a best friend like her to help and support you is truly wonderful.
hi Christi, It’s incredible how a close friend uplifts and supports you, particularly in difficult times.She even assisted you in finding a new interest and offered you confidence during the tryouts by telling you that you would perform admirably. It’s amazing to have someone like her as your best friend to encourage and assist you. She’s continually coming up with ways to get you out of the house and distract yourself.
hi Christi, Itâs incredible how a close friend uplifts and supports you, particularly in difficult times.She even assisted you in finding a new interest and offered you confidence during the tryouts by telling you that you would perform admirably. Itâs amazing to have someone like her as your best friend to encourage and assist you. Sheâs continually coming up with ways to get you out of the house and distract yourself.
That is a very nice story, you have a great friend, and I like how much detail you gave when describing how you felt, it wasn’t hard for me to understand and empathize with you.
READ HW4 INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY — WHERE IS?
In One Sentence tell me What is the single transformative event that you are writing about?
ï»żNOTICE in the part about breakup with bf you are mainly TELLING ME a bunch of stuff â AND even more mportant â IS THIS PART important enough to devote so much space? RETHINK — much of what you include here really isn’t the MAIN part of story. I think your story is still to come in whatever came next.
REMember this is a story about how basketball SAVED me. So yes the fact that you were in a depression is important â maybe create a SCENE of you in a depressed state with CSD and tell that it was bc of a breakup but details of relationship with bf are not really part of the story. CUT parts that are not integral part of your story and shift to SHOW how basketball transformed you at school.
START with scene describing you in depression.
Senior year of highschool, I was devastated It felt like it was the end of the world.[NEED SPACE AFTER PERIODâPROPER SPACING IS IMPORTANT]I wasnât eating and all I was doing was sleeping.Forcing myself to eat felt like I had a sickness.My stomach rejected the food.I had lost myself in this dark pit and I didnât know what to do.I was losing weight uncontrollably.I would cry myself to sleep and my eyes were so puffy that you would think someone punched me in my face.All I ever did was think about him [the boyfriend who had left me].I had nothing going on for myself to distract him.Sleeping was my only escape.
Move on to: She [WHAT was her NAME?]said âcome on just try it and if you donât like it,you donât have to come backâ.So, I went and we were in a gym. We were playing with the basketball and just dribbling around. I was terrible at shooting. [CSD to show me the scene of HOW terrible you were at this time. Describe you coming down the court and not even having hand ball coordination â describe you shooting and missing â IDK the basketball lingo or the moves â but YOU DO! SO SHOW ME and make it interesting and even funny?]. Remember SCENE of Colin Powellâs first day feeling so lost first day at City College. WHAT was your first day at the tryout â SHOW me how lost you were at bb skills.
REMEMBER and THINK RLW â HOW did Colin Powell SHOWS us with CSD that ROTC changed his college life? The mentor figure, the leadership, the brotherhood of partying and fun, the uniform!