“You will fail this grade if you don’t get your act together! I know you can be much better than this.”
This was a moment in my education history that I realized that I really did need to get my act together. For context, this was online, during the pandemic where everybody was staying at home and doing their work online. Much like others, I really slacked off. I realized a bit too late that I was falling behind. In that moment, I realized I had to raise my standards, and do better. I was doing absolutely worse than I had ever did, and only when I had someone tell me, did I realize.
It was the worst feeling in the world to realize that I was doing worse. That I had not put in the work that I could’ve. These words sort of saved me in realizing that I had to prove that I could do better, and that instead of taking those words as an insult, I needed some motivation. I interpreted in such a way that I had to prove them wrong, and raised myself even higher to actually pass the grade. I didn’t want to be seen as stupid or anything of the sort. I’m sure that if I hadn’t heard those words that day, I might still be in 12th grade.
ZiXuan, I think the way you were able to take that mentor quote as a turning point in your educational journey is brilliant. Itâs very important to have some sort of turning point and personal growth/ development when writing such a personal narrative so that youâre able to fully write about how that specific mentor quote really affected your life. You stated the moment you were told by your mentor that you would fail if you didn’t get your act together was during the pandemic so thats a great opportunity to write a scene on how you felt afterwards still being enclosed and stuck in one place while realizing it was âtoo lateâ to improve.
Remote learning was honestly such a tough time in our lives, I prefer learning in person as I did choose to be hybrid during covid. I relate to this as I have been constantly slacking off during remote learning, and well into my high school career. It’s great that you could bring things around and end up passing. But could you elaborate some more on what helped you?
âYou will fail this grade if you donât get your act together! I know you can be much better than this.â
This was a moment in my education history that I realized that I really did need to get my act together. For context, this was online[. WHAT year? WHAT grade? SO SOMETHING LIKE — It was November 2021 in my senior year during the pandemic where everybody was staying at home and doing their work online.] Much like others, I really slacked off [WHAT were you doing ? CSD!] . I realized a bit too late that I was falling behind. [CSD — in WHAT classes? In that moment, I realized I had to raise my standards, and do better. I was doing absolutely worse than I had ever did, and only when I had someone tell me, did I realize.
It was the worst feeling in the world to realize that I was doing worse. That I had not put in the work that I couldâve. [WHAT projects, WHAT tests were you failing? CSD needed!] These words sort of saved me [SHOW me the scene of Mr. Ms TEACHER NAME talking to you in the Zoom room? WHAT was that like? WHAT was the dialogue / exact words / rest of the conversation?] in realizing that I had to prove that I could do better, and that instead of taking those words as an insult, I needed some motivation. I interpreted in such a way that I had to prove them wrong, and raised myself even higher to actually pass the grade. I didnât want to be seen as stupid or anything of the sort. Iâm sure that if I hadnât heard those words that day, I might still be in 12th grade.
WHERE IS YOUR ONE SINGLE SENTENCE — In One Sentence tell me What is the single transformative event that you are writing about? This story is about ____. READ INSTRUCTIONS THIS SENTENCE WAS REQUIRED!
WHAT happened next? WHAT steps did you take? WHAT are the next events that will SHOW me your story.
PROBLEM: You donât have a story here. You only have a summary telling me with vague details about IDK what!
Are you paying attention to the way our writers write? Look at Colin Powell, Esmeralda Santiago, Malcolm X and the STORIES THEY TELL WITH CSD. RLW Read LIke a WRiter!
Notice that you are still doing a lot of telling. Instead you need to SHOW me with CSD concrete specific details and creating a scene here.
WHO said this to you? WHEN did this person say this? Where did it happen? SHOW me this conversation happening as if you are creating theatre.