I grew up in a household where I was expected to be what my parents decided I would be. I had no say in what I did in my life. Life was boring and I struggled with who I, Davina, truly was. What did Davina aspire to be? I always felt like I was never good enough despite doing everything my parents wanted me to do. I realized that if I didn’t grow a backbone, I would never be able to live my life the way I wanted. So, I decided to change that.
I had moved to a new city in a new state, and I didn’t know a single person there. I had a great but physically demanding job. I moved into my own apartment, and I was living a great life. Unbeknownst to me, I was already 4 weeks pregnant. Life was fun for me, I finally had my freedom from my restrictive parents. Being independent meant that I could do what I wanted and when I wanted without anyone telling me I’m doing something wrong. That I should be doing something they wanted me to do or feeling like I was a disappointment. At least that’s what I thought until I took a pregnancy test. It read positive so quickly that I thought it was a fluke. I took another and it read inconclusive. I then took another one, it read positive again. The plus sign, a vibrant blue. I was very much in denial. I had just started to breathe when I was always used to being stuck in the body of an obedient child. I always did what I was supposed to do. I got good grades, never talked back, and did my chores. I even went to a University and majored in a degree I never was interested in. If my parents told me to do something, I would do it. No matter how I felt about something, even a passion of mine, I was told that I had to do something different. Well, I finally left. I left a note on the dining table, took my suitcase filled with some of my things, opened the door to the only home I’ve ever known, and walked out. Never to look back again.
The day I went to my ultrasound appointment, I was terrified. I was alone, sitting in a chair in the waiting room, surrounded by other pregnant woman and their partners. The days when my Mom would be at the front desk filling out my paperwork, were gone. It still didn’t feel real to me, but when I saw my baby for the first time on the screen, I cried. I cried so hard because for the first time in a long time I felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. I knew that there was no going back. I knew that I would do anything for this beautiful, and amazing life growing inside me. I was still terrified because I wouldn’t worry just about how to take care of myself, I would have to care for and make sacrifices for my child. I knew that I didn’t want my child to think that their dreams will always be dreams. I want them to know that it is an amazing feeling when you can give something your all because you truly want to. Your dreams can become reality. I may be new at motherhood, I may have given up on my freedom, but I will never regret it. I would have this child all over again, if that meant I could hear her beautiful laughter and see her amazing smile. Motherhood is tough, there are hard times and easy times, but the joy it brings is well worth it. It changed my way of thinking. I was used to depending on my parents to figure things out for me, to guide me in the right direction. Now that I had no one to turn to, I had to figure things out on my own. Is she getting enough milk? Am I burping her the right way? Is she too cold or is she too hot? Am I doing this right? I had made plenty of mistakes, but I was also doing plenty right. I made decisions on my own and I felt good about myself. I now know what Davina aspires to be. A loving Mom, an MRI Technologist and an Author. I truly believe I found myself within my daughter. I am not afraid to face disappointment because I know that how I feel about myself and the decisions I make matter most and not what other people want from me.
Hey Davina, I understand being dependent on parents’ decision means a lot of responsibility, expectations and pressure. It’s feels like restriction to freedom. The fact how you stated, “Life was boring and I struggled with who I, Davina, truly was. What did Davina aspire to be?” this phrase demonstrates how you never got to explore yourself that you were so relied on your parents that you had a poor sense of self identity. And how you took a risk to bring a change and overcome your obstacles. Also, life is very challenging, moving into motherhood is a new experience while still struggling to define yourself. It’s interesting how you made the decisions as a mother and you were happy with what life had put to you. At last, it’s true we will never know what we aspire to be until taking control of our life by ourselves.
Wow, wow, words can seriously not describe my emotions. The negativity you encountered in your life but still ended up following through with your thoughts and getting past those challenges. The hardships you had to come across and the motivation you have is just something inspiring, The fact that you were able to achieve so much just shows the determination you have. Having a baby is such a great responsibility; you were able to take that responsibility, turn it into motivation, and get huge pluses from it. I am truly inspired by you and I hope that your future treats you well don’t let anything or anybody take you down by simple words.
Good work here!
CSD Concrete Specific Details needed!
What city? State? Job?
Sauggestion to try reordering to make your narrative more interesting from the start.
Start by jumping into a scene in bedroom doing the pregnancy test:The pregnancy test – Where? When? Any details to give a sense of place and time and setting.
So maybe:
Monday morning before heading to my new job in Philly PA, a new city, a new state, a new job, new apartment, new life! I had been wondering about my missing period. So …. The test read positive so quickly that I thought it was a fluke. I took another and it read inconclusive. I then took another one, it read positive again. The plus sign, a vibrant blue.
I was very much in denial. I thought, “Life is fun now. I finally had my freedom from my restrictive parents. I could do what I wanted and when I wanted without anyone telling me I’m doing something wrong. That I should be doing something they wanted me to do or feeling like I was a disappointment.”
Great description of day of ultrasound appointment. You give me good CSD Concrete Specific Details so I can almost see this event – You have good writerly instincts! But you need paragraph break – here in this long paragraph of “day I went to my ultrasound appointment.”
REMEMBER New Topic = New Paragraph. AVOID long blocks of text that will turn your reader off!
Let’s try to figure out what is the main transformative event here. In a single sentence what could this be about? Could this be a story about becoming a new mother and how this has changed me. What my new attitude to my future and to school will be.
If you choose to build upon this writing, THINK — What events would make a good story line?
Suggestion to read in Ed Narrative Resources sidebar next to the Assignment on Assignments page — my student Meryam Abdullah’s Ed Narrative essay. She writes about becoming a mother!