The essay I am choosing is The Lens-Exhibit because this piece of writing is of the more serious topics that world is dealing with and writing this paper will help others become more aware. Teens being addicted smartphones is situational, while it is great they can have the latest tech, with anything it can be addictive and lead to worse situations. I really want to go over this essay because I really want to improve my writing skills, I know it takes time but I want to learn my mistakes as soon as I am writing and be able to have a near semi-perfect essay with minimum drafts. To go in depth with explaining what the lens and the exhibit are without saying actually saying it the paper. To go in depth of other ways Taylorism has effects teenagers and what it would be like if teens didn’t have this technology, would they turn out to be the same, but just addicted to something else? Or could teenagers have an average life with or without Taylorism? Technology limits a handful amount of things we can do because we have machines to do it. So another topic to think about is working brain in today’s generation have benefits or no negative effects at all. Yes people can still study and do working the way it’s been done for centuries on pen and paper but now we have this power, does it make critical think obsolete.  It is a noticeable problem that if we keep leaning on the shoulders of technology, would we not need the skill to write or do mental work, or use our brains to remember anything?

As a writer mistakes aren’t seen until you make some edits, even then you might not see any because it’s you’re writing. My peer edits have taught me that I no transition words and unclear statements. For example the beginning is hard to understand because it is hard to understand what is the main point I am trying to get across to the reader. Also I did not quote correctly, giving the page number from where I got this quote. I know that when I am writing I move very fast not thinking about the flow of my sentences. When I am writing to many thoughts are going on in my head I am thinking about every paragraph and what is going to be put into it. I know that I need to take one step at a time, which make writing much easier.  There are some positives in my writing, I give good quotes that goes along with what I am talking about. My grammar is decent. I have some things to work on but that takes practice and sometimes it is the inpatients that gets to me. There are many ways to help by asking teachers for extra help or seek out different tutors to get a general idea of what your specific writing style can be. I feel as if grammar and sentence structure is my greatest defeat when it comes to writing.  This is hard skill to work on but hopefully with some practice comes perfect.