The essay I have chosen to revise is going to be my lens essay. I think there are a lot more benefits when it comes to social media than there are negatives. Social media has earned a bad reputation, in the sense that it makes people less social because people are “glued to their computer screens” or “can’t live without their phones”. I ask… Does it really make us LESS social, or does it, in fact, do the opposite? It has been proven to improve the way people communicate with each other and the progress their relationships with one another; especially those that have an issue with communicating face to face. I believe that with a slight change in perspective and foresight on where the future of communication is heading, we’ll see that we’re indeed, becoming more connected than ever before and therefore MORE social. In my revised essay I plan to show examples of the positive improvement brought on by social media from easier access to world new, to our increased ability to network globally. I also plan to provide insight how we can learn to use our social media platforms to their full extent. With the internet and social media, we’re connected to the world rather than just the people we encounter in our everyday life.

In “Does the Internet Make You Smarter?” by Clay Shirky, I was able to realize the positive effects of the internet, such as obtaining more information than ever before. Whether that information is useless or beneficial is completely up to us. Typically, when we think of the internet, the majority sees its negative effects, of course, with everything though, there is a good and bad side to it. Shirky says, “Amid the silly videos and spam are of a new reading and writing culture.” (1), I would have to agree with because just like reading isn’t innate, so are our understanding for technological tools. We just have to learn to use it the right way. There were claims concerning the long-term effect of the printing press back in the 16^th century, which were similar to these of the internet, such as, “chaos and dismemberment of European intellectual life” (2), pertained to be true. However, the unimagined use of building “new norms around newly abundant and contemporary literature” (2) was not taken into consideration. Therefore, instead of focusing on all of the bad outcomes that may happen, why not take responsibility to invest in useful resources needed in order to shape our use of digital tools, which in return is further beneficial to guide us properly towards the new age. So yes the internet can make you smarter, but it can also make you less intellectual, but the outcome is up to you and how you choose to use it. Shirky, helped me shed light on the situation making me more optimistic and aware of how I use my technology in order to fully obtained its optimal effects, which can denote any negative which is by far less great.

The re-vision process is showing me how to improve my writing skills going forward with both positive and negative features.  A couple of positive features was giving a lot of evidence, being very descriptive. My partner said I provided sufficient background to my central topic and delivered logical organization throughout the paper. I was very detailed and was told that I grabbed his attention making him want to read more because of how well he was able to fully understand what I was trying to deliver. Although it was nice to hear my amazing feedback I was also fortunate enough to receive some criticism to help better my writing skills for the future. I summarized too much in my first paragraph and some of my sentences were too detailed, jumbled together without taking any breaks. It was also a bit too confusing when I kept quoting and did not cite where I got the information from. Also my rhetorical device was mistaken because I did not make it clear in my first paragraph. When I write I sometimes get so overwhelmed in making sure I include all the information that my work ends up containing too much information it is even overpowering for the reader making it unclear. I found the rhetorical analysis peer review to be very helpful and will take this criticism into consideration and apply it to my work. For my final draft I will make sure I add the corrections needed in order to ensure my essay is the best version of itself.

In “Letter from Birmingham” by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was written in aggravation to further explain to eight religious white leaders who publicly stated worry and prudence relating to his peaceful demonstration against segregation and racial terror in Birmingham, that they completely missed the point of the reason for this protest. One feature of a rhetorical device used in this text was the metaphor “It has been a tranquilizing thalidomide, relieving the emotional stress for a moment, only to give birth to an ill-formed infant of frustration.” (2), in other words the way that the people in power are disregarding such an important issue within the American nation towards the black community that the long-term effect will be much more problematic. He claims that justice isn’t certain, and that all improvement stems from dynamic and imaginative battle for what’s moral, which is precisely they were trying to do. But the fact that this was constantly being overlooked would have produced such a staggering realization in the upcoming.

Dear Dr. King,

In your speech “I Have a Dream” something that stood out to me most in your language was the use of repetition “we can never be satisfied… “(405) in response to those who devote civil rights asking “When will you be satisfied?” (405); as well as the metaphor, “we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.” (406) I felt this was powerful because it successfully provides a clear picture to the people who are unrealistic in the dire situation of the struggles that black people are going through including police brutality, far travel, unsafe, poverty stricken living conditions, and no one in power to fight for them.

The feature of metaphor exemplifies in your letter to Birmingham, on your explanation for the word wait “It has been a tranquilizing thalidomide, relieving the emotional stress for a moment, only to give birth to an ill-formed infant of frustration.” (2) I found it relates back to your speech explaining yet again the struggles of the black community in which their cry for help was constantly disregarded. The difference between your letter and your speech was that I noticed you sounded exasperated which is understandable considering the great lengths you underwent to promote peace and awareness for your people but in return you were put in a jail cell. Especially when you get critiqued and overlooked by these apathetic people who are in power. This is important to me because even today minorities, such as myself, I’ve had my fair share and witness of injustice, what’s fair for one race should be fair for all. Although we’ve come a long way, we’ve got more to go.