The essay i would like to revise is my Lens essay. Mainly because would like to go more in depth with research because it really intrigues me and I can relate to my topic. The name of the essay is “Cognitive Facebook”. The essay is about how Cognitive Surplus relates to Facebook in a positive way. The Lens is Cognitive Surplus and the Exhibit is Facebook. Cognitive Surplus is the free time of educated people or just people with expertise share information in large quantities. Facebook is a website made to create a way for people from all over the world to communicate and share information regarding their lives of events.  I would like to show the positive affect of Cognitive Surplus and Facebook together. But, the question i would like to ask myself is, How will cognitive surplus and Facebook affect our lives now and in the long run in a positive way? In order for me to find information on this I am going to have to go in deep research. Because, the information I have found so far inst exactly benefiting Cognitive Surplus and Facebook. Though I have to look at both sides of the argument. Some may think that Facebook is not very good and Cognitive Surplus is just helping Facebook to get popular and leading people down the wrong road. In my next set of research I am going to change up my key words to see weather of not the information i will find is relevant to supporting my topic.

I’ve been using the internet from childhood till now. I looked at the internet as an easy way to get out of doing work. Also to pass time by playing video games and just searching “Google” for stuff I like. According to the passage “Is Google Making Us Stupid” what I have been doing for majority of my life is making me stupid. But, is it really making us “stupid”. What I learned from the article is that, the internet isn’t literally making us stupid. It is changing the way we learn. For example, “Research that once required days in the stacks or periodical rooms of libraries can now be done in minutes (2). Because of our constant use of the internet it’s giving our brain a new interest making us want to use the internet for everything. For example, “The more they use the Web, the more they have to fight to stay focused on long pieces of writing (3).

Thanks to our “brain’s plasticity” we are able to adapt to the habit of using the internet and Google on a daily basis. “It’s becoming our map and our clock, our printing press and our typewriter, our calculator and our telephone, and our radio and TV”. Google is what our society relies on now to obtain countless information and sources. “The company has declared that its mission is “to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful” (10). They wanted to “develop the perfect search engine”. Though, the effect of doing so, created a new way of thinking for the people using their engine.

To me the revision process has helped me exponentially throughout my life. Though, the way it was done in class was a little different. Through our peer revision, getting their opinions was a very smart way to get our writing to improve. My partner for peer review did an excellent job at opening my eyes to an improved way of writing. He told me that I complicate the meaning of a phrase. In other words, I say things and make them longer than they should be or, excessive writing. For example, in my writing about the “I Have a Dream” speech I said, “…written and told by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr”. I learned that I didn’t have to say “written and told by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.”, all I had to say was “…written by Dr. King”, lessening the complexity of the sentence.

Another, thing I learned from peer review was that I state things and don’t follow up with the complete statement in the same sentence. For example, “…it speaks of a certain issue that needs to be addressed at the time, before it gets worst”. I didn’t state the issues I was talking about in the same sentence. This might lead to confusion for the reader. Say the reader only reads up to this point, the reader will get confused as to what the issues are. Also, if they can lead to the issues getting worst why not immediately state it. Peer review is one of the best strategies to improve your writing.

The “I Have a Dream” Speech, written and told by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. A man known for his pieces of literature. But, in this specific piece it speaks of a certain issue that needs to be addressed at the time, before it gets worst. This speech speaks of the treatment of the black community, and the “Dream” that Dr. King has. One Rhetorical feature that caught my attention was his use of metaphor (404). He says, that “America has given the Negro people a bad check; a check marked “insufficient funds.” This is an important part of Dr. King’s argument, because of this brilliant use of metaphor he opened up people’s minds. Right after, he says, “But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt.” What I got from this part of the speech was that black people aren’t cared for by the white supremacists. I came to this conclusion because, the words “insufficient funds” tells me that black people aren’t being given enough money from the bank. Also, the “bank of justice is bankrupt”, this tells me that justice is all out of money. Money is resembling the ability to care. And the bank resembling the white people. In the end, Justice is not on the black community’s side and doesn’t care enough to lend them a hand. This is one of the many things in Dr. Kings Speech that led me to better understand his argument. In just one sentence he told us a story.

In your famous inspirational and impacting speech “I Have a Dream” you strengthened your main point in a number of creative ways. You used many little techniques that took a while for me to pick up on but were brilliantly used. One major technique that you used that I picked up on was the use of your setting. In your speech you mentioned Abraham Lincoln and the Emancipation Proclamation (403), while the speech was taking place in Washington DC, at the Lincoln Memorial. This made the impact on your audience more illuminating, and it really caught my attention. This has shown how great of a man he is and his dedication to making his Dream a reality.

In both, “I Have a Dream” and “Letter from Birmingham Jail” by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. they have few similarities and two huge differences. One huge difference that “I Have a Dream” has that “Letter from Birmingham Jail” doesn’t have is that Dr. King is emphasizing his “Dream”, I feel like this is important because though his Dream is something that was with him for a while that he thought about he doesn’t mention it in the Letter. Secondly, a huge difference is the delivery or the messages. The “I Have a Dream” speech is more like a poem than an essay. Because of his repetition of “I have a dream” and a little italicized portion on the final draft (407). Finally, a big similarity was that both the Dream speech and the Letter from Jail were for the same cause, Freedom and Rights. Though they were delivered differently.