The essay I’ve chosen to revise is my lens essay on social media and the amount of time teens spend on social media. For this research essay instead of saying that teens need to cut down on the time spent on social media, I will choose a specific social media platform which will n=be Instagram and try to find out how Instagram affects teens in a negative way and make them more shallow minded. I also want to relate this to teens becoming “pancake people” when they spend too much time on Instagram.  I’m also looking for what Instagram does to the self esteem and the mind of a teen when they log on to it.

After reading the article “Is Google making us stupid” written by Nicholas Carr, he brought so major points as to why he believes the internet is making us lazy. Out of all of the points that he made in the article, one point stood out the most. The point he made was that the internet is making us “pancake people.” What he meant by this is that we as humans are spreading the use of the internet. It has become a major part of our lives. We always have to be on the internet looking at the latest video that is trending, we have to use the internet for our homework, and other distracting things. The reason why we’re “pancake people” is because just like a pancakes spread, we spread on the internet. We go from one website, to another website, to another website. We rely to much on the internet and we don’t really use our own heads when it comes to project, everything is on the internet. It’s not only the internet. It’s our phones in general. When ever someone text us we have to respond right away, we wake up and look at our phones, when we walk, we look at our phones, when we want to check the weather, we have to look at our phones. We can’t live without our phones is what Carr is saying. They have become a big part in our communities and everyone on has to have them. In today’s world you’ll see a three year old with an iPad, a seven year old with a iPhone, and a thirteen year old with a laptop. It’s like everyone have to have something nowadays and it is making us lazy. Also when people go to events, all you see is people on there phone, posting the “great time” they’re having at the party on Snapchat, Instagram, or Facebook. It’s like there isn’t an escape from the internet in today’s world.

After the peer review last class, the advice that my partner gave was really helped me a lot. I realized that the mistakes that I made weren’t major, but they were definitely mistakes that shouldn’t have happened. That’s why it’s a positive to revise your work and have other go over your work as well. It’s all to make your work better so you can get a better grade. Also it’s to help you learn from your mistakes so you make the same mistakes in other essays. The process also helps you look at your strengths and your weaknesses. During the process, some strengths my partner pointed out was that I provided a background of the central topic and made it clear on which rhetorical choice I chose, He told me that it wasn’t a bad essay at all but the mistakes that were made could have made the essay a lot better. A weakness that my partner pointed out to me was that some ideas in the essay weren’t clear and/or incomplete.Another weakness was that I didn’t organize my paragraphs and I didn’t include my opinion in the essay. Just small mistakes that shouldn’t have happened. Those suggestions should help my essay better and that’s why i don’t really find this process to have any negatives. It’s not to bash you or to change your ideas, it’s just to give you ideas on how to make your essay perfect. We all can improve our work and make our essays better by revising our essays and getting opinions and ideas frpm others.

When reading Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, I was so inspired by the message Dr. King was giving to the black people who were going through a very rough time in the South. One thing that really stood throughout the whole speech was the use of the religious allusions. The use of religious allusions was a way for Dr. King to bring every religion together to spread togetherness in a non-violent way. One example of this is at the end of his speech when he brings up the negro spirituals and saying that everyone is God’s child(408). You can tell that all Dr. King wanted to do was make sure everyone came together to end the racial divide.

Dear Dr.King,

I found your famous “I Have A Dream” to be a major inspiration to me and to many people around the world. Your passion and your ability to use many elements in your writing was very impressive, but what stood out to me and what I found very important was your use of repetition. To me that was very moving because you showed your passion toward the subject at hand which was racial injustice. By you saying “I have A Dream” multiple times showed me that you wanted things to change and wanted things to get better for not only blacks, for people who were going through the same problems(406). Another example of your great use of repetition is toward the end of your speech. The reason why I found this impressive was because this is toward the end and you wanted to leave an impact on the crowd. When you say “Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.”(408) You really wanted everyone to be free and be able to have the opportunities in life. Also you wanted to spread freedom around the country and make everyone come together no matter the race, or religion.

In your letter from Birmingham Jail, you showed the pain that you were going through, and dealing with racial injustice. In many paragraphs you describe the pain that you went through in the jail. In most of those paragraphs when your describing the suffering that you went through, you used the words “I am” in one paragraph to show that you are in jail due to the discrimination that was was going on.(page 1)