The essay I’ve chosen to revise is my lens essay on social media and the amount of time teens spend on social media. For this research essay instead of saying that teens need to cut down on the time spent on social media, I will choose a specific social media platform which will n=be Instagram and try to find out how Instagram affects teens in a negative way and make them more shallow minded. I also want to relate this to teens becoming “pancake people” when they spend too much time on Instagram.  I’m also looking for what Instagram does to the self esteem and the mind of a teen when they log on to it.

For the research revision essay, I will use my Lens Essay because I am more interest in finding how different technology influence people’s brain and the bad influence of technology do to the brain. This time I want to know it in a deeper way. For my lens essay, I know my writing have lot of shallow sentence instead of go Deeping down. Also, for the connection of Brain Plasticity cause people who using technology become addictive, I feel like I need more ideas to support that, and I will like to find more information to support me my claim. In order to do so, I have to come up with a scholarly question that I would like to pursue: what could be both cause and effect of Brain Plasticity do to our brain?

The essay that I am choosing to revise is my lens essay, which mentions the use of both Wikipedia and cognitive surplus. The reason why I am choosing to revise my lens essay is because there is a huge counter claim on my exhibit, Wikipedia, that I would like to address and explain. The counter claim on my exhibit is the fact that Wikipedia is not the most accurate resource to be using because their information is not always reliable. Through revising my essay, I hope to prove that Wikipedia is actually more reliable than what people think or assume. On top of that, I want to go more in depth about how people are effected by the use of Wikipedia. Even though some information is accurate, is the website helping others to learn new things. If so, will this continue to happen as time goes on? Or will Wikipedia be a huge downfall to most people’s knowledge? I want people to see if Wikipedia will effect humans in the future in a positive way or a negative one. When people end up finding false or misleading information, it forces them to do more research on a certain topic, which opens up their mind on that topic. Furthermore, since Wikipedia is like a peer-review website, it opens up discussion between one another, which allows individuals to exercise their minds a bit more. These are some of the many reasons why I am picking my lens essay to revise and expand on.

The essay I am choosing is The Lens-Exhibit because this piece of writing is of the more serious topics that world is dealing with and writing this paper will help others become more aware. Teens being addicted smartphones is situational, while it is great they can have the latest tech, with anything it can be addictive and lead to worse situations. I really want to go over this essay because I really want to improve my writing skills, I know it takes time but I want to learn my mistakes as soon as I am writing and be able to have a near semi-perfect essay with minimum drafts. To go in depth with explaining what the lens and the exhibit are without saying actually saying it the paper. To go in depth of other ways Taylorism has effects teenagers and what it would be like if teens didn’t have this technology, would they turn out to be the same, but just addicted to something else? Or could teenagers have an average life with or without Taylorism? Technology limits a handful amount of things we can do because we have machines to do it. So another topic to think about is working brain in today’s generation have benefits or no negative effects at all. Yes people can still study and do working the way it’s been done for centuries on pen and paper but now we have this power, does it make critical think obsolete.  It is a noticeable problem that if we keep leaning on the shoulders of technology, would we not need the skill to write or do mental work, or use our brains to remember anything?