On this page I will post some general comments that apply across the different assignments we will do. I do post some samples of student writing here and make suggestions to it; this is for learning purposes only and is not meant to put anyone’s writing down. Of course, I leave all pieces of writing anonymous.
Alright, here we go:
Make sure your main point is the last sentence of your introduction:
Sample introduction:
There have been many debates around whether or not “Stop and Frisk” is a beneficial policy. Some say that “Stop and Frisk” directly violates human rights and is a form of racial discrimination. This policy allows police officers to stop anyone, randomly, and frisk them for illegal content. This policy is carried out completely based on officers’ judgment and discretion. However, the judgment of the police can be very wrong.
After reading that introduction, do you have a concrete idea of where the essay will go next, and what its central argument will be? I would assume it is going to be about how police abuse their power based on the last two sentences, but there is not a clear direction stated. Below is an alternative:
Revised introduction:
There have been many debates around whether or not “Stop and Frisk” is a beneficial policy. Some say that “Stop and Frisk” directly violates human rights and is a form of racial discrimination. This policy allows police officers to stop anyone, randomly, and frisk them for illegal content. This policy is carried out completely based on officers’ judgment and discretion. However, the judgment of the police can be very wrong. After contemplating differing opinions about “Stop and Frisk,” I am going to examine two reasons why I am against the policy.
I added a last sentence that explicitly states what the direction of my essay will be. Of course, many types of writing are not this explicit. We’ll consider other forms of writing, of course, but you must be able to clearly state your main point in your introduction before you can go on to other trickier styles.
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