When writing this essay, I realized that telling anecdotes or experiences can be simple. However, having to give details or tell a story in depth is very complicated, because transmitting those images through words to the public is very complicated and requires a lot of skill and patience to achieve it. I think this essay had very positive points because I think I managed to transmit most of the images to the readers, and it was a pleasant experience to be able to share this story with many. Something that I think did not go so well is the grammar because I felt that there are still parts that need a lot of work to make it 100% understandable and enjoyable. Now all that remains is to polish this essay so that it is finished, correct parts that do not make sense, and the grammar would be the main thing, finally, give it a title, and correct the aesthetics of the text.
The OpenLab at City Tech:A place to learn, work, and share
The OpenLab is an open-source, digital platform designed to support teaching and learning at City Tech (New York City College of Technology), and to promote student and faculty engagement in the intellectual and social life of the college community.
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I think you did a good job! Yes, grammar is never perfect. But try the little trick I mentioned in your Comments. Or stick around after class and we’ll practice it together. It’s a great story, wonderful first draft.