Humans are very sexual beings. When we socialize, get to know one another and provoke the dopamine in each other’s bodies, we are being sexual. When we kiss it’s sexual. Even when we rate others, it’s sexual- despite who you’re rating. Violence is hitting someone. Violence is also raping someone. But it can also be in words. You can be violent to others by calling them ugly, by calling them useless, by making them feel insignificant. From what I’ve read, Dorothy Allison saw sexuality as violence. Violence between females and females, but more between males and females. See, in “Two or Three Things I Know For Sure”, Allison makes many connections between sexuality and violence. She states: “My beautiful sister had been dogged by contempt just like her less beautiful sisters— more, for she dared to be different yet again, to hope when she was supposed to have given up hope, to dream when she was not the one they saved dreams for. Her days were full of boys sneaking over to pinch her breasts and whisper threats into her ears, of girls who warned her away from their brothers, of thin-lipped adults who lost no opportunity to tell her she really didn’t know how to dress.”[Allison, Dorothy (1996-08-01). Two or Three Things I Know for Sure (pp. 78-79). Plume. Kindle Edition.] She saw that the sexuality between male and female created more violence than anything else. When she looked at her sister, she saw a beautiful girl that many attacked because they saw her beauty and felt perverse thoughts about her. Like what non-perverted person looks at a teenager and feels contempt for them over their sexuality which is something that’s supposed to be beautiful? That’s not even cool. She also stated “I told her about my lovers. She cursed the men who had hurt her. I told her terrible stories about all the mean women who had lured me into their beds when it wasn’t me they really wanted. She told me she had always hated the sight of her husband’s cock. I told her that sometimes, all these years later, I still wake up crying, not sure what I have dreamed about, but remembering something bad and crying like a child in great pain.” [Allison, Dorothy (1996-08-01). Two or Three Things I Know for Sure (p. 80). Plume. Kindle Edition.] To me it seems that more than anything, she saw sexuality as something that has the potential to be fun and beautiful, but could become perverted quickly and become very violent. I wasn’t really disturbed reading of the violence. She’s kind of right. In this life, many violent things happen, and it happens to many people- those who “asked for it”, those who can keep their mouth shut, those who know to look the other way. Even those who would rather pretend nothing was even happening. Yeah, it sucks, but it’s the world we live in. The one where if we don’t take our sexuality, and our bodies, it’s painful and violent.
kay im done. gn