Tag Archives: mom blogger

Virtues from Motherhood: Be Kind No Matter What

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Several weeks ago, as I walked Ava to school we saw the mother of one of her classmates, a little boy with special needs. She told me how sometimes the children in her class are mean to him and exclude him from games or skip him on the lunch line. She asked me why kids are so mean to him when he didn’t do anything to them, and I truthfully wasn’t sure what to tell her. The real truth is, the world can be an ugly place sometimes and those who appear different are targets of unkindness.

Shortly after that conversation with Ava I visited her classroom for an event and the little boys mother pulled me aside and told me that Ava had been sitting with and including her son in whatever activity they were doing. I was taken back and didn’t expect a 7 year old to have the emotional capacity to realize this little boy needed compassion. Ava’s teachers verified that Ava stood with him on the line for school lunch or in line for activities at recess to ensure he got a turn and that the little boy seemed to take comfort in the fact that Ava was always around.

The following morning while walking with Ava again, I asked her about the little boy and told her that her kindness makes a difference in the world. What she said next blew me away, she said “Sometimes he annoys me a little bit but I know he doesn’t mean it so I just pretend I didn’t notice”. Her emotional capacity made me smile, that at a young age she realized some people require more patience than others and for good reason. I hope that sentiment lives on within her as she ventures further into the world and realizes not everyone knows how to be kind.

It is easy to be lost in our own frustrations and take it out on others but we also don’t realize just how big an impact we leave on others. We never know what someone is dealing with at home or in their own minds and being harsh doesn’t help them any. It doesn’t take much to be kind, even if it’s just a polite nod on the train in the morning, spread kindness.

Virtues from Motherhood: Be objective

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In the last few weeks as judgement flies freely over social media and even in everyday conversation, it’s sometimes too easy to get lost in our own minds. While we know that nobody is perfect sometimes we might forget that our way of life, of doing things or of handling a situation is not the only way. I actually deactivated my facebook a week or so ago because logging in was starting to make me sick and just disgusted with the people I saw every single day bashing and judging complete strangers. It’s one thing to agree to disagree or to acknowledge someone else’s lifestyle but to openly and ignorantly bash someone you know nothing about? It was just upsetting to me.

I struggled with what to tell Ava about this election or how to understand the things happening around her in a way that wouldn’t damage her innocence. Finally I just decided it was best to tell her the minimum, she’s only 7 after all and her teachers did a great job of explaining the government, elections and democracy so I saw no reason to tell a 7 year old about the racial and gender issues that embedded themselves into the 2016 presidential election. What I did want her to know or understand is that we live in a big big world and every single one of us is different, and that’s okay. Diversity is what makes this world and this city so great.

I wanted Ava to understand the ability to be objective and to know how to step back and view a situation out of her own shoes. It’s a hard thing to do especially if you’ve got a vested interest in the topic, but it eliminates ignorant hatefulness. It’s easy to condemn a life we have never lived but it is easier to understand if we remove ourselves. For example, I’ve seen great debate over public assistance and the stigma that comes with it. People don’t seem to understand that not every person who gets food stamps is living off the government unemployed, in fact most are hard working people who just need a little help to make ends meet, and there’s nothing wrong with that. When you retain the ability to be objective you can separate the people who abuse the assistance from those who truly need it.

Not everyone gets the same affordances to start out with in life and the road to getting there for some takes longer. Sometimes people deal with things outside of their control and do the best they can to keep going. Remember, judging someone’s path to a destination only sets us back in our own.

Virtues from Motherhood: Tolerance

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Tolerance. The word has been thrown around a lot these past two weeks in America. Post-election America seems eerily similar to a city that just suffered a massive earthquake, cracked. It is hard to ignore the division right now and even harder to ignore the lack of tolerance and regard for one another. This election was a high voltage one from the start for many reasons but the main undertones seemed racial and gender bias. It was hard to watch and harder to fathom how a country which made such progress on equality issues over the last 8 years could fall into such divide.

Before my eyes I watched friendships dissolve, families draw battle lines and a nation pick sides with what seemed like no middle ground. I couldn’t help but ask myself, what happened to respecting another person’s opinion or agreeing to disagree? I’ve always believed in picking your battles but suddenly every view I’ve ever had seemed like one. People were accusing one another, throwing stones and downright destroying the character of people both stranger and friend. Tolerance I thought to myself, how can people be so intolerant to political views? If that was one lesson to take away from this mess it’s to be tolerant of your fellow human being.

Everyone around you lives a life, carries a burden or hides a scar you know nothing about but that doesn’t mean you can be insensitive to it. In a perfect world everyone would agree, everything would accommodate everyone but the world is not perfect, and neither are we. We can try though, to be more empathetic and more open minded to peoples sexual orientation, life choices, financial status or where they’ve come from because at the end of the day our graves are all the same size. If there is one thing I want to raise my daughter to be it’s tolerant, open minded and observant. If I can’t teach her to open her eyes to all that’s around her I’ve failed her and I’d also be setting someone who can’t empathize with others out into the world.

So this week I ask my readers to open their own eyes, open their hearts and most of all open their minds, because a closed mind is a dark one and dark minds lead to an even darker society. Look at the person next to you in class, on the subway or in line for Chipotle and realize they live a life that may be a complete 180 from your own, and that you’re not any better or any worse than them for it. We live in a vast and beautiful country, but we can’t all live beautifully so long as hate is still allowed to freely roam society. Let’s raise our children, lets teach our fellow human being lets BE the tolerance, the change and the hope we so desperately need to see in this nation today.

Virtues from Motherhood: Be the person you needed

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Growing up we’ve all faced our fair share of trying times and moments where we desperately needed guidance but couldn’t find it. For myself that time was transitioning out of high school and into college, while becoming a teen mom. I got accepted into a highly regarded and competitive college and quickly found myself sinking, with nobody willing to throw me a life vest. I visited a handful of college offices, advisement, student life and even the counseling center but all they could offer me was a withdrawal slip from my courses. I ultimately did end up dropping out of college and not returning until my mid-twenties.

When I arrived at CityTech I was amazed, even shocked, at how friendly and accommodating the offices and the faculty were and I knew I had found a home here. So in fall 2015 when a good friend brought me along to the end of semester bash for First Year Learning Communities I knew I wanted to join. The First Year Learning Communities are a set of classes that students all have together and that share an overarching theme. For example, this semester I mentor a community that connects English to Psychology with the shared theme of emotions and navigating the challenges of college life.

The Professors, Jennifer Sears and Barbara Chutroo, are amazing and while I’ve only visited students during the English component it is evident the Professors work together for the benefit of the students. That in itself was huge to me because during my freshman year not one professor had the time or the interest in talking to me let alone helping me navigate college life. In addition to the educational value in this program it also provides a very necessary social value, it helps students form communities and channels of support in one another that they otherwise may not be able to create.

In my first two semester of college I made not one friend, not because I was anti-social or terrified of meeting people but because every class was different, everyone’s schedule was different and nobody had the time. In a program like FYLC you get the opportunity to share courses, assignments and experiences with the same group of people and that takes the stigma and fear of saying hello.

I joined the Peer Mentor program not only because I believe in the program’s mission but because I wish I had this resource when I was a freshman. I wish I had someone to email about the little things or for advice on dealing with a professor or precarious situation. I joined this program because I want to be the person I needed when I was a freshman and I want to make a difference. I thoroughly enjoy working with the FYLC and plan to continue until I graduate. I have learned during my long academic career that there is nothing like a strong network, and that’s what I want to help new students build and be apart of.

WELCOME TO CITY TECH!

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This week we kick off the fall semester with classes beginning on August 25th! This will be my third semester here at City Tech and I’m excited to be back and work with my wonderful Professor’s, Mentors and peers. Last Wednesday I manned a table for The Buzz at orientation and it was a great experience so for my last summer blog I want to welcome all the new and transfer students to the amazing City Tech family.

Last year when I arrived I had no guide whatsoever and I ended up going across the street to Starbucks to use the bathroom because I couldn’t find one (LOL) so I’m going to lay out some of the basics for our new comers here. So first things first: where are the bathrooms anyway? Well in the Namm building from floors 3 and above they alternate meaning boys bathrooms are on even floors and girl’s bathrooms are on odd floors (also note some are closed for repair).

Next the elevators in the Namm are divided into local and express where express elevators stop at floors 6 and above and local stop on all floors. The express elevators are 5,6 and 7 and local is all other elevators. I recommend being a few minutes early to class or the line for the elevators will rival those at the DMV.

All the offices you need for major stuff like paying your bill, financial aid, bursar, registrar and more are in the basement of the Namm building. If you can avoid these offices the first few days of school by all means please do because it is a madhouse.

For help with computer and Wi-Fi stuff go to the welcome center on the first floor in the atrium (go in the Namm and walk past the cafeteria) the people there will help you set up Wi-Fi, student email and more.

If you don’t want to eat in the cafeteria on the 1st floor Namm you can check out some of the local food choices like Chipotle, Aubon Pain, Five Guys or Café metro. You can also check out my Panera Bread, Potbelly or Hills country chicken by leaving through the Adams st. exit (Pearl building).

Last but not least we have our own app! You can get it on Android or Apple by searching New York City College of Technology, which sums up what I’ve said and more! I hope you come to love this school as much as I have and never hesitate to reach out to me, as a peer mentor I’m here to help!

 

Email: s.pezzolanti@gmail.com

Twitter & Instagram: @spezzolanti

Also check out my blog The Rebel Mom 

 

Blogology 101: Blogging about hot topics

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As bloggers we often stick to our theme or genre when we write but occasionally our genre crosses paths with a hot topic or current events issue. Now you can either refrain from acknowledging it at all or you can add your commentary to the situation using your blog. However when you blog about a sensitive or hot button issue you need to go about it in a diplomatic and respectful way, you never want to come off as ignorant, bashing or uneducated. Here are some things to keep in mind when writing about something that’s heavily debated.

 

  1. Eliminate bias or harsh criticism from the tone of your writing

It’s easy to get carried away or passionate when you write about something, especially something close to you. It’s crucial however, that you don’t let that leak into your writing because readers will either be turned off or overwhelmed by your opinion being thrown at them. Let your feelings be known but do it passively.

  1. Acknowledge that your opinion is not the only one

It’s only natural to have an opinion about something but a good writer can acknowledge their own point of view as well as the views of others without bashing or belittling them. Instead try viewing the topic through multiple lenses so your readers get an even palate and your audience is wider.

  1. Facts, facts, facts

The worst thing you can do is fudge information or twist the information from its source. It’s always best to use multiple sources and wait a day or two so the validity of the information can be verified over. If readers feel like they’ve been given bad information they’ll be less likely to return to your blog.

 

Whenever we write our personal style and touches shine through, that’s what makes our blogs unique, but it’s important that you fine-tune that so that your blog attracts a vast and diverse audience. You’re more likely to get better feedback and a wider following when people from multiple avenues like and share your work. Also remember being able to see multiple angles of something makes you more of an asset to a company who might want to hire you as a writer.