Virtues from Motherhood: What I’ve learned from a decade in college

If you’ve followed my blog for a while you know I’ve been in college for a bit, ten years to be exact. In 2008, I began my college journey and in June 2018 I will walk across that stage to complete it. In that time, my life has gone through several transformations and seen some trying moments, as well as triumphant ones. I have learned so much about myself as well, what I’m good at, and what I’m not, and most of all how to love myself. I started college as a naive 18-year-old with little to no humility but I will finish it as a woman with grace and self-assurance.

For the earlier part of my college career I had no idea who I was or where I was going; I didn’t believe in myself or my dreams. I had been told “no” so many times and been shot down for things I thought I was good at that I stopped caring. I slowly learned however, that all things happen in due time and some things can only come with age. You can’t rush the process and you can’t skip steps and sometimes, you’ll even have to repeat them. Repeating a step was something I was venomously against for years, often dodging things I needed to do or complete out of fear or immaturity, avoiding taking responsibility for my short comings.

It’s not all bad, though; I have these experiences to share with my readers, my friends and most importantly my daughter. I have the wisdom and the personal experience to guide others and hopefully make a difference in their lives. This ample time spent in college has helped shape who I am and what I want to do with my life and it has reaffirmed my love of writing.

  • I have learned that I am destined to help others, if not by any other means than with my words.
  • I have learned to be patient and trust that everything happens for a reason.
  • I have learned not to take on the burdens of others and that it’s okay to say no sometimes.
  • I have learned to be selfish, with my time and energy because other people’s negativity can poison my peace of mind.
  • I have learned that not everyone has the same mentality I do and that’s okay.
  • I have learned to be sure of myself and stand for what I believe in.
  • I have learned that there isn’t always a right answer, sometimes there are shades of grey.
  • I have learned that it’s okay to not be okay and to ask for help when you need it.
  • Most of all, I have learned that life goes on.

In the past decade, I have endured things I never thought I’d have to. I had to navigate life roles that usually happen consecutively; all at the same time. I juggled being a mother, being a student and holding a full-time job. I had to raise a little girl as a single mother and make choices for her education when I was still making choices for myself. Some days I felt like quitting, like giving up and just walking away, but I kept pressing forward. If I had to sum up my journey in just one word I would say, invaluable. This journey has been invaluable in more ways than one, but the main one is experience and that is something I could never trade or replace, and I am glad that I have that experience to shape my future.

Stop Wasting Your Time!!

Yesterday as I was walking down the hallway aimlessly during my two hour break, a new student approached me in Namm Hall and asked me to direct him to the Voorhees building. You can only imagine my demise thinking about how to instruct someone on the journey to Voorhees from the 6th floor in Namm! In my mind I thought, this poor soul has to walk those long blocks to the V-Building and has no idea what he’s getting himself into. At first I contemplated the best directions to give him so that he wouldn’t get lost. After a few seconds I realized there was no way I could direct him efficiently without the possibility of him getting lost, and on his first day at that.

My heart crumbled inside thinking that he would be lost in school, and it would be my fault. So I decided to walk down the stairs with him so that I could at least show him which direction to walk in. After exchanging our last few words, and me double checking that he was okay with the directions I gave him, we parted ways at the Main Entrance and I felt better that I helped him instead of brushing him off. It was at that moment I realized that I could be using my break between classes in a more efficient manner than just walking aimlessly until my next class. Instead of just chilling  I decided to put my free time to good use, even if that means giving someone directions to a specific part of the campus.

After that experience I walked back to the elevators in the Namm building so that I could proceed to my class on the tenth floor. While in the elevator I noticed that I had about a hour and a half of free time and I decided to use that time wisely. I walked down the hallway in search of an empty classroom to sit in, instead of having to sit on the floor in hallway. After a few minutes, to my surprise I found a room that wasn’t occupied,and then I got comfortable. I  used my break to start an assignment that was due for the following day. As time progressed, I noticed that in the same time span that I would have spent walking around bored during my break, I was getting work done that would benefit me in later parts of the day.

By the time class started I had already read a sufficient amount of my assigned literature for class, and I was able to move on with the rest of my assignment.  Once class was finished I left and made my way to meet my partner so that we could spend quality time together. Had I not completed my schoolwork during my break, I would’ve had to cut my date short and run home to do my work. However, since I took the initiative to manage my time in a way that would accommodate my personal needs, I was able to do my work and have fun at the same time.

My main point of sharing my experiences during the first day of class with you is to show you how easy it is to Stop Wasting Your Time! I know that it’s difficult to get back into the swing of things in the beginning of the semester. However, I promise you that learning to use your time wisely will benefit you greatly in the long run. All you have to do is buckle down and devote a certain amount of hours a day to your studies no matter how taxing it may be. Trust me I have days when I’d prefer to be watching Hero Academia, Empire, Power, This is Us or any of the various other shows that have held my interest seasons upon seasons. However, I have learned that the years we spend working hard in college will groom us for experiences in the outside world.

College is hard, but this semester and the semesters that follow will fly by, and you’ll be graduating sooner than you know it. So during this time, make school a major priority in life and don’t get distracted. Give Facebook, Snapchat, Youtube and Instagram a rest for a few hours, knock out your homework, and once you’ve completed your assignments go out and have some real fun. Balance your time so that you never miss an assignment, but you also have time to enjoy yourself. Just DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME, because once it’s gone you can never get it back.

Bucket List

Seasons Greeting and Happy New Year to all!

As we enter the new year I know many of us may have some New Years resolutions. As a blogger, mine are indefinite but I’ll keep it short for my readers.

First is, visiting the new second avenue train station! A project that was in the works long before the birth of my parents! Growing up and always hearing about the station being built and seeing the construction workers at work had me always anxious and waiting for the day it it’ll open. And it is here now!

Next is, visiting the freedom tower! The tallest building in not only New York but also, the United States of America. I’ve heard that the iconic view in the tower is to die for!

Furthermore, I would like to take a painting course. As someone who isn’t very artistic, I’ve always wished I could grow and learn more in that “field”. My appreciation for it all stems from my artistic friends in my life always able to paint/draw anything you ask them to. It is also a great stress reliever. Something us college students need more of.

I am looking forward to this new year and sharing my experiences of my adventures with you all!