Life After Undergrad: Finding my new groove

Hey everyone, if you’re just catching up I’ve changed my blog from “Virtues from Motherhood” to “Life After Undergrad” as I chronicle my transition from college student to full-time working adult. First let me say that I am considering grad school and getting my Masters Degree but I’m still on the fence. Transitioning from a college student routine into one without any school is surprisingly challenging. I thought that I’d be relieved and carefree now that I didn’t have to worry about papers, midterms and passing grades, but truth be told I feel a little lost without it. I got so used to planning my day out and rushing off to class after work while making sure that everything was done and organized.

Now, I wake up and get ready for work but I feel light, there is no bag full of books and notes, there is no folder filled with a syllabus and assignments. It’s just me and my now downsized bag headed off for a brisk 9-5 shift. Last week the spring semester began and I felt a little sad, some of my friends are still there and my siblings are back in class, and then there’s me, headed home at 530. It’s not all bad though, I’ve started meal prepping and trying not to eat out. I also started going back to the gym and trying to take better care of myself. While I was in school I was on the go for 15 hours a day so eating right and exercising took a back seat.

Now as I try to get into the groove of things I try to keep a positive mindset. I’ve made a habit of pointing out the positives to myself and dealing with and discarding the negative. I’ve learned throughout my college career that attitude is everything and will affect anything you do. I’m not sure what the future holds for me right now but I am excited to find out. Now that I’ve achieved what I thought was impossible I am more confident than ever; I believe in who I am and what I can do. That ability is invaluable, you need to value everything about yourself, no matter where you are.

A Note on Beauty

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On most mornings, you can often find me cross-legged in front of a mirror buffing on eyeshadow. It’s a process:

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Admittedly, I had begun wearing makeup to please the false gods of society and snooty middle school girls who I always thought were cooler than me. I was delving into the world of beauty for the sake of others.

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I was trying to match looks that weren’t necessarily meant for me, for the sake of fitting in. So, instead of makeup being a source of creative expression and confidence, it became a crutch and a prison. I HAD TO LOOK LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS!

In hindsight, however, I think I had to go through that painful stage to get to where I am now. I wasn’t born naturally assured of my worth and I had to work for it. I still do. Because of this, makeup for me today isn’t the same as it was for me five or six years ago. Where putting on eyeliner and the perfect mascara was a tool to fit in, those things today I do for myself.

Naturally, there are the skeptics:

“That’s BS. You just want to impress boys.”

“If you were actually confident, you wouldn’t wear makeup. You’d be fine with your own face.”

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Well, I am fine with my own face. Thank you for the concern! Of course, there are days where I don’t feel one hundred percent and need the makeup to give me a little boost. But for the most part, I am happy with what my mama gave me. I have been living in my body for all 19 years of my life and I’ve seen it evolve and change and I have learned to love its little nooks and crannies. My makeup has become part of my routine, just like coffee or showers. And believe me, I don’t drink coffee or care for my hygiene for the sake of others.

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A great little instagram video I saw a couple of years back mirrors my sentiments perfectly:

(Instagram: @tinawoodsss)

The first time I put purple on my eyelids at fifteen, I could hardly give two toots about what the cute guy in science thought. I put it on because I liked the way it made my eyes look. That same sentiment applies for the reds and yellows I put on my lids in the present, despite the colors not being “in season.”

I was scrolling through YouTube a few days ago, and I happened to watch a video of actor Dove Cameron getting her hair dyed. While her hair was processing, she and the man doing her hair were sitting outside in the LA sun, talking about life and beauty.  About two and three quarters of a minute into the video, Dove says something that has stuck with me. She explains that Beauty gets a “bad rep” because it is often associated with vanity. But, “…if it comes from a place of self-love, it’s fun.”

Makeup isn’t necessarily about being prettier about everyone else. At least it isn’t for me. For me, the way I do my makeup or the way I dress isn’t to impress the world or boys or picky middle school girls. For me, Beauty has transformed from a social pressure into another piece of art. I do it for the love of it.

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Hey, if anyone has any interesting eyeshadow looks you could suggest for me to recreate, please leave me a link below!

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week!

Pebbles <3

My Life is a Bakery

book with empty cup of coffee

Image by: Sofia Oliveira

Welcome back to all the students of City Tech…it is truly an honor to have the opportunity to return as a blogger for Openlab’s The Buzz despite being a graduate of the college. I hope that everyone is excited to become so busy with classes, tests, and homework that you barely have time for a social life. But honestly, I hope that everyone has a successful semester and is proud of themselves for getting another semester started, getting closer to their goal of graduation. I thought a lot about what I wanted my first post to be about…what I wanted to discuss. As always, food is what motivates me, it is the one thing that I never cease to have a passion for. I cannot remember a time when I didn’t have an appreciation for food and its innovation in our world. When I write my posts, I tend to battle with myself: a debate on what is appropriate to write or discuss especially when it is personally affecting my life. I wonder if being honest about my personal struggles is helpful to others or too humiliating to put on such a public forum. The truth is, no matter who you are, we all face our own specific struggles on the day-to-day basis.

From my experience and having graduated college, it has honestly been the most difficult time for me. It is the first time in my life where academics don’t play a central role in my life. I don’t have to worry about homework assignments, midterms, finals, or attending six classes. And yet, I have no clear idea of what I want to do with my life now. A ton has occurred in my life that has forever changed me into a different person. I have dealt with loss and faced both depression as well as anxiety. I quit baking because it didn’t bring me as much joy as it once did. I wanted happiness but I felt guilty for it.

The month of January was a big turning point for me as I was able to hang out with my sister Sabrina more often without her stressful and tedious college schedule. She is my confidant, my best friend. I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. She has seen me in both my best and worst moments. I love her. She has helped to guide me through my depression as she motivated me to maintain a social life and by getting me out of the house. We were able to embark on many adventures during her break from school. One of my favorite places to go with her is Mia’s Bakery which is located not too far from the college. It has a café within a bakery where you can sit down peacefully while enjoying the amazing drinks and pastries that they offer. It has been the host place for many deep conversations that we have divulged.

a decorated plate of pie and a mug filled with green tea

Image by: Brianna Vasquez

The last time that we went there, we enjoyed ourselves as always: laughing, exchanging secrets, and carrying on about the current situations in our lives. I had the banana cream pie and a matcha latte…both were utterly delicious. I cannot merely put into words the richness and creaminess of the pie while the matcha perfectly offset the sweetness of the dessert. Sabrina thoroughly enjoyed her strawberry marble cheesecake and a vanilla macchiato. It is times like these that I live for…the simple togetherness of people and enjoying each other’s company.

Welcome Back Everyone!

Hey City Tech! Gen here welcoming you all back from the long break. I hope you all had an amazing holiday and new year filled with new goals and prosperity. Now that we are back from the winter break I want to remind everyone to be calm for the new semester. Yes, I’m talking to you freshmen. Keep a calm profile, everything’s going to be all right you just need to breathe and remember that the syllabus gives you everything that needs to be done. Don’t stress yourself out; I’m sure you can do this! As for my other viewers, sophomores, juniors, seniors, or those who are embarking on another year in City Tech, I’d like to remind you of all your success. Another semester in college, another step closer to graduation. What better way to celebrate that then with a delicious cup of tea?

“Cup of tea you say? Why tea?” Is what you’re all probably asking from the other side of the screen. Lemme tell you why. For me, tea is a great balancing supplement that helps me with anxiety and stress it keeps me calm. On a higher note, given by Harvard Health Publishing “… it turns out that tea does contain substances that have been linked to a lower risk for heart disease, cancer, and other health problems that affect men.” Tea, however, has benefits for all of us not just men. But, the point is that tea can do wonders for both the body and the soul. As we all know and hear about, green tea is a prime example to essential and good health. In that same post it said that “… tea contains certain substances linked to better health. The main players are chemicals called polyphenols, in particular catechins and epicatechins.” These chemicals are a form of antioxidants that come in day to day natural food and drinks, such as fruits and vegetables along with tea and wine. There’s a reason as to why nature’s given us these plants and remedies rather than pills on trees. Ya know, some illnesses can be naturally treated, and even, prevented rather than what we get from our doctors. In a quick point, the body needs antioxidants, without them our bodies grow to be weak and prone to more illness and attacks. My recommendation?? Drink more tea! It’s cheap, easy to make, and it tastes great hot or iced; whichever way you like it.

Welcome to 2018 at City Tech!

Welcome back to City Tech, everyone! I hope your winter break was relaxing and pleasurable as  we now muster the strength to return and finish the school year. I normally share historical and/or current stories about pieces of architecture and art in New York City. But, before I delve into my more informational posts, I would like to share a few things that I did and places I explored over the winter break.

happy new year written on condensated window

For Christmas, my family and I ventured to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to see a Nativity play at the Sight & Sound Theatre. The facility was built like a Disney Castle; I found it hard to believe that this experience was real or some type of fantasy dreaming. The arches by the entrance were exaggerated and hollow; giving the patrons a clue as to what lied forth the fantastical facade. Past the threshold was a sweet aroma of caramelized almonds; it was the type of smell that made you want to bite the air to see if you could taste it. The auditorium, itself, was a well-thought design; as if the theatre was built around the audience instead of the ordinary spectator viewing. The show was great and I enjoyed it thoroughly; it’s not typical to see horses, goats, pyrotechnics, or choreographed acrobatics inside a closed auditorium. The entire experience was very different from other plays I have seen and I found every aspect intriguing.

a statue at Sight and Sound Theatre

the Sight and Sound Theatre seating arrangement

Sight & Sound Theatre auditorium

Ceiling at Sight and sound theatre

Ceiling motif at the Sight & Sound Theatre

For New Year’s Day, we went out to Coney Island beach like thousands of others to celebrate 2018 with the annual Polar Plunge. This would be my third year attending the winter festivity and it was one of the coldest. Reportedly, the temperature of the brackish Atlantic Ocean was 37 degrees Fahrenheit and the outside temperature was in the lower teens; this would be the coldest New Year’s Day in about 50 years. Bravely, we marched past the ice breaking at the shore and stepped into the slushy waters, dunking ourselves into winter’s freezing abyss. My body was thoroughly shocked by the water; I lost my breath and almost all the feeling in my limbs before gathering all the will I had to run out of the frigid water.

the sun at coney island beach

Coney Island Beach on New Year’s Day

These are just a few of the things I did over my winter break; I still spent plenty of days resting from the long and grueling fall semester. As I chart through the spring semester I will bring you more stories of my adventures and information that I learn along the way.

 

 

The Black Panther: The Movement Within Black History Month

A comic book cover of Black Panther

 

Since the invention of television in the early 1900s, there has always been a lack of equal representation of all races. Sitcoms, cartoons, movies and even commercials were dominated with predominantly white leading actors and supporting casts. According to the article “The Golden Age Of Blacks In Television: The Late 1960s”  by J. Fred MacDonald, “In part, the changing complexion of TV in the late 1960s was a reflection within the industry of the changes wrought by the great social and legal movement that was the push for civil rights. Until this date there had been few sponsored network shows headed by black actors.” It was not until the late 1900s that people of African descent were given roles in movies, but most of these roles were either demeaning or considered black exploitation. MacDonald explains that people of African descent were offered parts in predominantly white movies with minimum lines and camera time, people such as: Nichelle Nichols (Uhura) from Star Trek, Louise Beavers (Delilah Johnson) in The Imitation of Life, or James Baskett (Uncle Remus) and Hattie McDaniel (Aunty Tempy) in Disney’s cartoon Song of the South. All of their roles in one way or another played into negative stereotypes that were are related to people of African descent, and displayed them in a negative light. As time progressed and the Civil Rights Movement went into effect, television shows and movies became more diverse, as they began to air shows that showed people of African descent in roles that were more than just background props. As examples the article lists television shows such as The Cosby Show, Julia, I SPY and Room 222 which depicted people of African descent in a more respectful and accurate light. These shows were full of characters that portrayed people of African descent positively rather than in a way that played into negative connotations that were associated with their race.

More recently I’ve noticed that people of African descent have been dominating movie/television screens and playing characters that are relatable to people of all races. After going to see movies like Hidden Figures, Moonlight, Get Out, Fences, The Butler, and Straight Outta Compton, just to name a few, I feel as though these movies  have accurately depicted the lives and struggles people of African descent face today and have faced in history.  These movies have also given people of African descent a platform to have their voices heard, as movies are now created from their point of view. There is currently great excitement within the African American community because a new movie is being released that approaches African American film in a new way. The movie that is causing so much excitement is called “The Black Panther.” On February 16, 2018, about halfway through Black History Month, a movie about a Marvel Superhero of African descent will finally be released. The Black Panther movie is set in the nation of Wakanda, which is a technological fortress inhabited by African royalty and their people. Without giving too much away about the movie, the main character must return home to take over as heir to the throne after his father’s death. Now I know that the content of this movie sounds exciting, but that’s not the only reason that this movie is outselling every previous superhero film in advance ticket sales.

The Black Panther movie, which is directed by an African American man named Ryan Coogler, is so popular because it is breaking down barriers of visual media that have always glorified white superheroes such as Superman, Batman, Captain America, and Wonder Woman, while ignoring or downplaying the importance of superheroes of African descent such as Luke Cage, Black Lightning, Batwing, Storm, and The Black Panther. This introduction of a superhero of African descent into the lives of people who are accustomed to associating superheroes with the white race, provides a new dynamic into what group of people are seen as suitable role models or saviors. Not only is this movie centered on a superhero of African descent, but also the cast of this movie is the epitome of Black Excellence. Highly esteemed actors such as Angela Bassett (What’s Love Got To Do With It), Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland), Michael B. Jordan (Creed), Chadwick Boseman (42), and Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave) all play major roles in this movie, and collectively have drawn in the attention of various audiences. The combination of the cast members and the content of this movie has created a fierce movement within communities of color. People are excited about this movie, and yearning to see this movie because it signifies a feeling of pride during a time where being a person of African descent is so difficult.

The Black Panther gives underrepresented groups a feeling of pride because it shows us that we can be excellent, strong, intelligent, and successful, but most of all, a hero. In a way, this movie is saying, “We do not need to wait on the white savior to rescue us from our struggles, we can rescue ourselves.” Superheroes of African descent like The Black Panther encourage young children and adults who grew up in the era of white-only superheroes to strive for greatness because they are being presented with visuals of greatness. I urge everyone–young and old–to go out and see The Black Panther movie. I feel that this movie could provide insight for people of all races, creeds and colors about how people of African descent prefer to be portrayed in media. We don’t want to be limited to categories and stereotypes that were created in segregationist eras. We are more than that, and this movie shows us and the people who seek to degrade us that we are more than the expectations placed on us. So go out, see the movie, and be part of The Black History Month Movement that will become a major part of history.

P.S. If you are just as excited to see this movies as I am, let me know what this movie means to you in the comment box below.

 

Time to Re-Wire: Forming Habits

“We are what we repeatedly do” -Will Durant

I once heard that if you do anything consistently for 30 days it becomes a habit or automatic action in your life. Some research argues it’s actually 21 days, some argues 66 days, and some argue some other magic number, lol. All I know is that for the past 30 plus days that school has been on break, I have not thought about school, homework, or getting to class at 8:30 a.m., and I think I’ve picked up some new habits. I have been waking up late to get to work for 11: 00 a.m., watching enough tv for every student at City Tech, and spending A LOT of time on “social media lane.”

They say old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form, so I’ve been doing my own reading and research on how to master forming and breaking habits. So with that  said, the truth is I that I didn’t really form new habits because I have had school in the back of my mind this whole time. I mean I have been going to school for so long so it’s obviously a hard habit to break. I even found myself super bored some days wishing for the semester to start.

One of the articles I found that stuck out for me and actually provided realistic guidance on the forming of habits and sticking to them was The 3 R’s of Habit Change: How To Start New Habits That Actually Stick. Right in the beginning of the article, the author James Clear says “What you repeatedly do (i.e. what you spend time thinking about and doing each day) ultimately forms the person you are, the things you believe, and the personality that you portray.” 
That makes sense!

Our lives are really just the product of ALL our habits wrapped up in one. It made me realize that there are actually many new habits I would like to form and some I want to drop. One thing that I want to point out is that a habit is not actually a “goal.” There is a big difference. For example the habit you want to form cannot be “to get all A’s this semester” or to “lose weight.” The habit is the activity that you want to take up that could promote your goal.

For example, the habit I want to form is to be in bed by 11 p.m. I am currently on a daily
9 a.m.-8 p.m. schedule, so getting my sleep is a PRIORITY and is really imperative to me being a regular sane person and not a ticking time bomb lol. What I do now is get in bed and then decide “oh hey girl, perfect time to scroll through social media or watch just one more episode” and then I wake up in the morning regretting it all.

The article talks about using “The Three R’s” to create new habits.

Reminder. Routine. Reward.

The reminder keeps you on top of the habit, the routine is the act of actually doing it, and reward is what motivates you to keep up your habit.

I’m going to use the 3 R’s by setting a REMINDER alarm to go to bed at 10:30 p.m. which will give me enough time to wrap up whatever I’m doing. Then initiate the ROUTINE by actually going to bed by 11pm and not getting on my phone. The REWARD will be evident in me feeling better, not feeling sleep deprived and having more energy, and being more productive at my internship, job, and school. This new habit will obviously 100% contribute to my GOAL of being successful without dragging myself to do so!

What habit would you like to take up to create a positive change in your life? Maybe it’s academic, maybe you want to drink water with lunch, exercise for an hour a day, stretch and meditate when you wake up; it can be anything! Definitely moving forward I’m going to try out the 3 R’s system and see how it’s going to benefit me in making the changes I want to and forming new habits that affect me positively.

I challenge you to start your new habit TODAY and together we will embark on a 21- day challenge. I choose 21 because that seems to be the universal minimum lol.

In three weeks, I’m checking in on you to see if your new habit has begun to come naturally to you. I’m so excited!!! The article I shared with you is pretty long, but I say– as pre-work to the challenge– give it a read (or a skim if that works better for you lol) and don’t forget: Reminder, Routine, Reward!!

 

Love, Neffi

Lost in Transit–and Translation

by Robine Jean-Pierre

a subway station filled with commuters

provided by PREP blog

Have you ever been approached by someone who does not speak much English, asking for help or directions? Have you ever felt flustered as you searched for the right words to convey your response clearly, looking desperately into that person’s eyes for a glint of recognition and understanding?

This occurs rather often for me; living in New York City, I frequently come across people from all over the world, especially in the subway. As my fiancé Angel loves to say, “The MTA brings people together.” I enjoy helping others in general, particularly travelers wanting to know MTA-related information; I figure that if I’ve lived here all my life, I owe them at least that much! However, when language becomes a hindrance in reaching that goal, it can certainly be a challenge, but I do not give up easily.

One night, Angel and I were returning to Brooklyn after babysitting for my sister in Harlem. After some late night service changes complicated our initial plans, we found an alternative route to the nearest train station. I had just finished adding money to my MetroCard when I noticed a man accompanied by two women standing at the adjacent ATM machine. He held out a MetroCard and five dollar bill to me, asking, “Can put money on card?” He had already failed a few attempts at doing it himself, having tried to dip the MetroCard rather than sliding it in and letting the machine grab it.

I took both from him, but the next problem was unexpected: when I inserted his card, the screen read, “Card invalid. Please remove your card.” I was puzzled; it had not expired yet, and it did not have any apparent distinctions from a regular card.

“It’s not working,” I said, partly to myself, partly to Angel who was watching over my shoulder, and partly to my guests. Swiping it at the nearby card reader machine did not make the problem any clearer. Angel and I searched our personal belongings for an extra MetroCard but could not come up with one. Unfortunately, they would have to buy a new one.

“This card is not working… do you have one more dollar?” I gestured, but they cluelessly responded, “No… English.” I knew some French and Spanish but I could only guess that they spoke neither, so I didn’t offer a “Parlez-vous français?” or “Hablan ustedes español?” I likely would have been too nervous to speak coherently anyway.

Determined to help them get on their way, I quickly got my wallet out. Once more I tapped away at the touch screen, chose the “New Card” option and manually typed in $5.00, but we hit yet another roadblock: apparently, $5.00 was not a valid option. Really, MTA? I thought. What’s wrong with five dollars? Haven’t you troubled us enough? I went back to the selection menu and chose the cheapest preset option, $5.50, and now the grand total was $6.50.

Finally, I inserted the money due and handed the gentleman his card. One of the women immediately handed me back two dollar bills, to my surprise. I had given the $1.50 freely, not expecting them to give it back to me; but I did not want to appear rude or cause any further delay by refusing. He took his card, still hesitant and nervous, and they left the station (grateful, I’m sure, even if though they did not say so).

I felt a lot of compassion for them, imagining what it must be like in a new area, not knowing the language well and trying to navigate a complex and unfamiliar system. I’m grateful they knew just enough English to make their request known. Plus, it may have been indirect and delayed, but they did come to the understanding that $1.50 more was required of them. After all, who can go wrong with numbers? They saw me pull out the money and I’m sure they saw the big “$6.50” that appeared on the screen of the ATM machine.

I find the situation memorable in that, despite the language barrier, the task at hand was successfully completed. Because of this experience, I have an increased appreciation for all the ways we can communicate–not just with words but with images, objects, sounds, body language, etc. It’s wonderful to know that when one method is limited or unavailable, there is always another option; hope is never lost.

Virtues from Motherhood: Life after undergrad

Happy New Year OpenLab! I’m writing my first blog as an official City Tech alumna! If you’ve followed my blog for a while you know my long journey to this point in my life, and how significant this milestone is for me. So, I’m thinking from here on out you’ll know my blog as “Life after Undergrad”.

That being said, I have to be perfectly honest and admit that being a graduate doesn’t feel super different but it does look different. For the first time in nearly ten years I’m not rushing off to class after work and I’m not spending hours on a Sunday afternoon writing papers and studying. It feels like I have all this time I’ve never had before and I’m not always sure what to do with it, but I decided this year I was going to get organized, make a plan and stick to it!

I started by chucking my old planner, as much as I loved it, it was time to start fresh. I ordered a brand new planner with daily goals and to do lists and I set myself some goals and aspirations. First I started with simple stuff, drink more water, do one fun thing for myself a week. Then I tackled my bigger goals, like getting back in shape, and finding a full-time job with my degree. I won’t lie, looking for a job is terrifying because although I know I have the skills and ability I’m jumping into a whole new pond with much bigger fish. I plan to approach job hunting with an open mind and an optimistic spirit and start networking and building my professional contacts.

But enough about me, City Tech! How was your New Year? What are some of your goals and aspirations in 2018, what habits are you trying to break and which ones are you trying to start? Let me know in the comments below!