Peering into the Perfect Melancholy Mind

By Robine Jean-Pierre

a man blurred in the background looking at a chessboard in focus in the foreground

provided by Pixnio


In
my previous post, I talked about the concept of the Four Temperaments, which is discussed in depth in Florence Littauer’s book, Personality Plus. After taking the personality profile included in the book, I discovered that I am primarily a Perfect Melancholy. I would love to share some of my exciting and challenging realizations with you. Maybe this will help you if you have the same temperament, or if you know someone who does.

My Strengths
For one thing, my intellectual, analytical nature has contributed to my success at school. I won’t say it’s been easy or effortless to get high grades; what I will say is that I’ve had more of a desire and an aptitude to excel in academic pursuits. It helps that I love to learn for the sake of learning.

Creativity and artistic ability are also strengths of mine. I sing, compose, write, play piano and guitar, and draw pretty well (at least in my opinion!). It’s easy for me to catch the melody of a song I’ve only heard once, draw realistic cartoons, or write haikus on the spot, for example.

My Weaknesses
Being the analytical, planning type can also be a setback. Sometimes I get so stuck in my mind that it’s hard to turn thoughts into actions. I gave my fiancé Angel a hard time when he taught me how to play chess, because I felt as if every move I made had to be the “right” one. You can imagine how long our games went on for.

The need to do things the “right” way leads into the bigger issue of perfectionism. I’ve often set unrealistically high expectations for those closest to me. With my sister, I’ve been too critical, practically looming over her shoulder and correcting her every move. As you can imagine, this has often annoyed her. (It doesn’t help that both my mom and aunt are also Perfect Melancholies.) With my fiancé Angel, my reserved, introverted tendencies make me self-conscious and easily embarrassed. As a Popular Sanguine, he can be very over the top in expressing himself–loud declarations of his love for me, singing on the train, dancing in the streets–and I can be harsh in the way I express my disdain, with jabs or death stares.

My Outlook
The way I see it, knowing my strengths and weaknesses can set the tone for all areas of my life, from my relationships to my career path. Understanding my temperament means avoiding situations that I am not well-suited to handle (unless there is room for growth or other gain). For example, being a planned and orderly person, I would not take on a job that seems to be too chaotic and spontaneous; teaching a kindergarten class could potentially lead to an emotional breakdown.

Conversely, understanding my temperament means making choices that will highlight and reinforce my strengths. To give one example, I often take the initiative in planning dates with Angel because we both agree that I do this well.

I hope this helped you get a better understanding of what Perfect Melancholy people are like. Chances are you or someone you know has a personality that aligns with this temperament. What are some takeaways that might change how to interact with them, or how you view yourself? Please feel free to share your thoughts with me below.

Life After Undergrad: What now?

Have you ever finished a book or a TV series and then looked up and thought “what do I do now?”. That was the exact thought I had the first day I was able to go right home after work. What do I do with all this free time? Should I start knitting? What is life without college like? I’d been in school for 80% of my 20’s and I got so accustomed to being in that student state of mind that this whole commute and “call it a day” lifestyle was new to me. I decided (like I mentioned in my first post) to start taking better care of me. Cooking at home, getting back into the gym and trying to focus on the plus and not the minus.

Meal prepping for me was a whole new world. I’d never been super into cooking or baking so I decided to start simple; chicken, veggies and some brown rice or quinoa. Well, I ended up eating this for about 3 weeks straight for lunch until a co-worker said “Sam, are you on some special diet?” Well, I kind of was the “I have no idea how to cook” diet, but that was a wake up call for me; it was time to try new dishes. So with the help of my best friend, Mariah, I ventured into simple step meal making.

My first creation was chicken tortellini, Alfredo, which, if I do say so myself was delish. Now If you don’t believe me, I also fed this to my mom and co-workers and nobody died–so there’s that. I’m sort of lazy when it comes to cleaning pots and pans but making that was shockingly easy, so the next adventure is going to be pasta salad or penne-vodka– we will see. But this endeavor into cooking is just a sign of the change in times because a year ago instead of wrangling tortellini I’d have been in lecture, or running from work to class. Now I have some time to explore skills and other things that I just never had the time for– and it’s exciting. I look forward to seeing what else comes with this new phase of life and I can’t wait to share it with my readers too!

Boy Crazy

Boy-Crazy_01

FANGIRL  \ ˈfan-ˌgər(-ə)l \  noun 1. A female fan who is an overly enthusiastic fan of someone or something. verb 1. To behave in an obsessive or overly excited way towards someone or something.

I.e. Me.

I am a fangirl of webcomics, sitcoms, podcasts, and as of late, international Kpop sensation BTS. No, not “behind the scenes,” but Bangtan Sonyeondan.

Of course, I could spend this whole post fangirling these majestic creatures, but this Buzzfeed Community post sums the members up in a way that is quite succinct and slightly informative, as per the fangirl way. Even without hearing their music (which is really good and many of their songs are jam packed with meaningful lyrics), how could you not fall for such gifts of nature?  

BTS_03

BTS_06

BTS_08

BTS_10

BTS_13

BTS_17

BTS_21

BTS_24

Boy-Crazy_02

Boy-Crazy_03

There was a point to this.

Boy-Crazy_04

Ah, yes! Here it is!

Boy-Crazy_05

You see, every time I get into an actor, singer, dancer, artist, and/or the likes and they happen to be a genetically blessed man with superior visual appeal, the nagging in my brain begins.  Pebbles, it says, why you be like this? Whatever do you mean, Brain? Can I not be a fan of talented and beautiful men?

Boy-Crazy_06

I very much believe that the answer is, in fact, yes. Hell yes, I can.

But for some reason, there’s this creeping anxiety that keeps telling me that “feminists can’t love men,” which is weird and frankly, quite dumb. Why do others assume that just because I’m a feminist, I can’t be a fangirl of male artists or boy bands and such? Is it because the very mention of “boy band” invokes heteronormativity and gender binary? Well, sure, it does. But as this Dame Magazine article points out, there is an oddly feminist twist to the boy band.

In a world where slut-shaming is a prevalent weapon against women and even young girls, the boy band becomes an outlet to openly express a young woman’s sexuality. As a woman, we are always put down and told to put our shoulders away, the boys might get distracted! We are told that a good woman is not a lewd woman. But we are all human, and part of our humanity is our sexuality.

Boy bands and fangirling are avenues of exploration and self-discovery. They may not be the most feminist in their own right, but the space they create allow young women to be openly expressive of what they want and that’s the important part! We as women are told that what we want or enjoy is of a lesser thing simply because we are women, but your pleasures and interests aren’t!

Boy-Crazy_07

As a fan of BTS, I am reassured that I have a place to express myself– an outlet. But, I also know for a fact that I am not living my life FOR these seven talented Korean men. As Rebel Wilson’s character in How to be Single says, “I know who the —- I am.” I don’t lose my fundamental beliefs at the sight of a handsome man.

So, be a fangirl! Weep and scream and write your strange fanfictions. But just know that you are an individual outside your fandom. You are so much more.  

P.S.
If you’ve reached this point, bless you soul! Despite the fangirl that I am, I never like forcing my fandoms on people who could clearly care less. However, if you are, in fact, interested in this phenomenal septet from south of the 38th parallel, please look them up and HUNT ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY SO WE CAN SCREAM IN TANDEM.

I am contractually obligated to do so.

P.P.S.
If you’d also like, meet some unconventional American BTS fangirls and feel the massive hold of ARMY.

P.P.P.S.
I am absolutely not done, but I’ll leave you all off here. I’ll see you all next week!

 

 

Love is a Sweet Surrender

What is love? Is it an emotion or an action? Why is it both amazing and yet painful? Love is the most natural thing in life…before we even realize it or have the knowledge of what love is, we have already loved. We have already experienced the greatest part of life itself. When we are born, we don’t choose to love…we aren’t mentally capable of being taught how to love either, it simply occurs naturally. We don’t pick who loves us or have any choice in it, it just is. I believe that love is both an emotion and an action as you feel the strong feelings that you have towards that person but you also continue to show your love by saying, “I love you” or by other displays of affection.

This weekend, I was forced into a family outing which I usually am not the biggest fan of, as some of the members of my family do not readily understand me. So there we were, driving around Long Island, looking for something to do or somewhere to eat. I was in a daze, my earbuds were shoved deep into my ears before the music imploded into them, drowning out a world that I desperately needed a short vacation from, if only for the duration of a single song. Then, we drove past a bakery. This was a bakery that I had wanted to visit for some time. I asked if we could pull over so we could go and check it out. It had this big draping awning that read, “Home of the Crannoli”. That was literally the entire reason that I wanted to step into this bakery at all… to try this confectionery masterpiece…to be transported into a sugar-filled trance…to be overwhelmed with the goodness of another food hybrid. The crannoli was the perfect cross between a cannoli, donut, and a croissant.

As I savored this majestic dessert, it was everything that I expected it to be and more. It had a crisp and flaky shell of a croissant that was delicately shaped like a doughnut but had the richness of the cream to make it the most balanced dessert. It was perfection. But I suppose I am missing my point. I was reminiscing about love and its meaningful qualities. I could easily say that I experienced love when I took my very first bite into my crannoli but that is not quite the point that I am trying to make. You see, we have all loved someone…someone who has impacted our lives greatly…someone who has loved us back unconditionally. I remember what that was like to love someone so much that it became my whole world. It made me a better person. When you lose someone that you love so completely, it is the most painful thing ever. So when I saw this particular bakery, it appealed to me beyond my amusement of its famous crannoli but the actual name of the bakery. The bakery was named Sweet Surrender Bake House. And that was it. That is what love is…a sweet surrender. Love can be painful, beautiful, fulfilling, and tumultuous but it is all worth it. Love is simply surrendering to your feelings in order to be a part of someone else’s world, their life, or their future. Love is the greatest sacrifice because there is no limit to it and that is an experience that I will never regret…that I could never fathom forgetting. Love, in its truest form, endures forever regardless of the circumstances. Love is a sweet surrender.

A Valentine’s For Everyone

miniature eye-view of the lost man creek exhibit

Have you ever taken a hike before? You feel like you’re the only one on the planet. As if you, somehow, left behind all civilization to find something that wasn’t really that hidden; you find yourself. What if, instead of being alone with mother nature, you were accompanied by someone? Perhaps, a significant other, a friend, or family member. Would you still feel alone? Or would you relish in the overtaking feeling of secluded bliss? In which, the world is endlessly you’re personal playground and you’re not only self-aware, but you are also conscious of the other person (or people) you are with. Our innate sense of busyness tends to divide our entire thought process. Thus, making it difficult to connect with one topic at a time. But given ample time and conducive environment, everyone has the ability to shake loose of all our daily demands and focus on the things that normally get forgotten.

a view over-looking the lost man creek exhibit

There is something to help you drift away from the busy New York City culture and indulge in something more natural. Sometimes, it’s the little (pun intended) things that can relax us. Inside Metrotech lies an art piece called “Lost Man Creek” created by, Connecticut born artist, Spencer Finch. It is a miniature version of the Redwood National Park located in California. According to The Public Art Fund, Finch scaled down the 790 acre patch of land into a tiny topographical version. The scale of the mini-forest is about 1:100, making 100-400 foot Redwood trees to only be comparable in mere inches; ranging from 12” to 48”.

a sign for the lost man creek exhibita side view of the lost man creek exhibit
It’s reign of display is reaching its imminent conclusion soon. By next month the future of this public art piece is undetermined. So if you haven’t seen it yet or have seen it and thoroughly enjoy it, get your last visits in now; before it’s too late. The next time you visit the Metrotech Center to satisfy your desperate cravings for Chipotle or that Five Guys burger you’ve been thinking about all day, try taking a little time for yourself to be alone with your thoughts. On a day like today – regardless if you are single, in a relationship, or in something quite complicated – self admiration is key. a tiny house inside the lost man creek exhibit

What is Love? Baby Don’t Hurt Me

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow!!!
I love Valentine’s Day!
I love the spirit, I love the colors, I just love all the love that is in the air.

cartoon character sitting with dreamy face with hearts around her

Image By: We Heart It

We show love all year but it’s so different around Valentine’s day, because it’s basically love on steroids lol. It’s the extra that feels good: the frosting on the cake, the whipped cream on top of the frappucino, the sprinkles on the ice cream. It just feels better than all the other days and it looks prettier. Hey, maybe it’s just me, but I love it.

Valentine’s day isn’t just about a romantic relationship. It’s about showing love to someone in your life, whether it’s a romantic partner, a best friend, your parents, other family members, or even your pet. It’s about putting that love out there to make their world shine even brighter for the day.

In ode to Valentine’s day I asked friends and family to answer one of two questions:

  1. How did you know you were in love?
    or
  2. What does love mean to you?

Their responses reminded me why the essence of Valentine’s day is so important.
Their answers were:

“I knew I was in love when I started crying because she hung up on me” LOL
– Adonijah

“Love is more than just a feeling. You can feel strongly in like but love requires commitment. You can like someone and not be committed to them but love is a bond that yearns commitment.”
– Justin B

“Your smile melted my heart and I just knew 27 years ago”
– My Corny Older Sister Afiya

“I knew I was in love when I cared about his feelings and thought of how he would react to certain situations before I thought of anyone else”
– Lexxii

“The minute you find out you’re pregnant and then you hear the heartbeat, that is a love no one can match. I loved my daughter from that moment. I knew my purpose in life now was to love her, protect her, and make sure she knows I love her so she can accept nothing less from anyone else”
– Mareena

“I have no idea what love is. Sometimes I think I’m in love after one hour but should it be that fast? I don’t have a real solid definition but I know it feels damn good”
-Sabreen

“Love is so splendid. It’s selfless, kind, gentle, understanding, considerate. Love is putting yourself in situations to see how it feels to someone else before you do it. Love is wanting to be near the person or thing that gives you butterflies all the time. Love just might be the most powerful feeling.”
– My Mom whom I love every day by the way 🙂 lol

“Love means that you care for somebody and that somebody loves you and you love them.”
My six-year-old niece (She’s onto something here)

Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be just about showering someone with gifts, or spending a lot of money, orlike some Valentine’s day haters would say“taking this ONE day to show people you love them.” I can understand though how the commercialism of Valentine’s day can leave a bad taste in people’s mouthsit seems like just another day to put ridiculous amounts of money into businesses’ and restaurants’ pockets. Not to mention how triggering it can be for single people or people whose relationship isn’t in the best place. That’s why any time I come across someone that has this opinion about Valentine’s day, I like to emphasize that personally, my best version of Valentine’s Day usually requires no money to be spent at all, and it’s not just about a boyfriend or girlfriend. I enjoy quality time with family and people I love, letters, handmade thoughtful gifts and memorabilia. You can celebrate and have your special day that way as well, full of sentiment and without the need of material things.

Valentine’s day is a day of reflection, really remembering why you love who you love, why you appreciate them, and dedicating the day as the anniversary, the holiday, the celebration for that love. How can you not love it?!

boy with glasses with dreamy eyes looking up

Retrieved from QuanJing

For those of you who have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s day, be your own Valentine this year. Shower yourself with love and attention.

man pointing to you as viewer with words "treat yourself"

Gif Retrieved from Pajiba.com

Whatever your reasoning may be for not necessarily enjoying or desiring to celebrate Valentine’s day, recreate the day and dedicate it to yourself. I’m always here for the self love, honey. Self love is the best love. The more you love yourself is the more you love others and accept love and disregard hate. But make sure you get a slice of all this love that is flying around right now; it’s beautiful, and on Feb 15th you won’t see it this loud anymore lol 🙂

happy valentines day

Image from Pixabay

two young girls hugging and smiling

Image by Masterfile

man and woman sitting on couch smiling at each other

Retrieved from Essence.com

two women in intimate hug embrace

Retrieved from CinemaJam

two male hands interlocked

Retrieved from StarObserver

toddler girl kissing her reflection in the mirror

Retrieved from PathwaysOfWisdom

Personality Plus: An Ancient Idea with a Modern Flair

by Robine Jean-Pierre

My fiancé Angel and I can say that our initial friendship deepened as a result of some important exchanges. To name one, I introduced him to the world of contemporary Christian music, and he unlocked the door to the library of positive mental attitude (PMA) books. One of the first books I saw him read was Personality Plus by Florence Littauer. I made it very clear to him that I was curious about it, and he made it clear that it would change my life. Once I got a hold of it, I dove right in.

In short, the book did change my life. It introduced to me the idea that while there are plenty of things that make people unique and distinct, we all naturally tend to fall into certain identifiable patterns and habits. It becomes way easier to understand ourselves and communicate with others when we take these patterns and habits into account.

Throughout history, there have been various studies that expound upon these distinct sets of patterns and habits. This book specifically addresses and builds upon the ancient Greek idea of the Four Temperaments. Littauer describes them as Popular Sanguine, Powerful Choleric, Perfect Melancholy, and Peaceful Phlegmatic. I’ll offer a simplified summary of each below.

Popular Sanguine
People with this temperament tend to be bubbly, talkative, friendly, and outgoing. They are often considered “the life of the party” and “the center of attention.” They often struggle with forgetfulness, following through on a commitment, and can swing between emotional highs and lows pretty quickly.

Powerful Choleric
These people are often considered “natural leaders” because they have a bold, straightforward demeanor and a strong will. If a task needs to get done, they most likely will take the initiative. At the same time, they can be bossy, stubborn, and, as the name implies, they can have a bad temper.

Perfect Melancholy
Those who fall under this category are “the thinkers.” They can be quiet and reserved at times, but their minds are brimming with intellect and creative talent. On the negative side, they can be too hard on themselves and others because of their perfectionist mindset. Their emotional cycle of highs and lows tends to be more intense and slower paced (it may take longer to recover from an offense).

Peaceful Phlegmatic
These individuals are very mellow and “chill.” They make great listeners because of their passive nature, and they do not waste time making decisions because their answer will usually be “either one” or “I don’t care.” At the same time, they are more likely to procrastinate because they sometimes lack self-motivation to make more important decisions. They can also come off as indifferent because they do not express their emotions easily.

Similarities and Differences
The temperaments within themselves share certain similarities. For instance, Perfect Melancholy and Powerful Choleric tend to be more intense, independent, “task-oriented.” As a result, they may at times come off as emotionally detached, or too serious, but their determination and resolve can definitely be beneficial. Someone of either temperament might isolate herself in her room until she is finished with her homework, for example. On the flip side, Popular Sanguine and Peaceful Phlegmatic are more “people-or
iented.” Either one would be willing to drop whatever they are doing to help a friend. They are more likely to let emotions influence their decisions, which can be helpful or harmful.

These relationships are further explored in a similar theory, the Disc Model, developed by Harvard psychologist Dr. William Moulton Marston in the 1920’s (learn more in the Disc Personality Testing Blog).

a diagram comparing and contrasting personalities within the DISC model

taken from Discovery Report

 

Keep Calm and Read On
Now, I know some of us are skeptical and do not like the idea of putting people into boxes. Rest assured, the summaries above have certainly been oversimplified, and the truth is that most of us exhibit characteristics that fall under all of the temperaments (or perhaps, at the very least, two). I can’t say whether the temperaments are the best personality model, or why they exist (if only in our minds), but I can say that this knowledge has improved my understanding of myself and others. For example, knowing that Angel is primarily a Popular Sanguine, I’ll be more understanding if he forgets to bring me something because he was wrapped up in conversation along the way. (As for me, I’m predominantly a Perfect Melancholy. I may elaborate on my experience more in a future post.)

If you are interested in taking these theories into consideration, I would advise you to use them as a guideline, rather than a standard. If you know of any promising personality quizzes, please feel free to comment the links (and/or results) below!

Life After Undergrad: Finding my new groove

Hey everyone, if you’re just catching up I’ve changed my blog from “Virtues from Motherhood” to “Life After Undergrad” as I chronicle my transition from college student to full-time working adult. First let me say that I am considering grad school and getting my Masters Degree but I’m still on the fence. Transitioning from a college student routine into one without any school is surprisingly challenging. I thought that I’d be relieved and carefree now that I didn’t have to worry about papers, midterms and passing grades, but truth be told I feel a little lost without it. I got so used to planning my day out and rushing off to class after work while making sure that everything was done and organized.

Now, I wake up and get ready for work but I feel light, there is no bag full of books and notes, there is no folder filled with a syllabus and assignments. It’s just me and my now downsized bag headed off for a brisk 9-5 shift. Last week the spring semester began and I felt a little sad, some of my friends are still there and my siblings are back in class, and then there’s me, headed home at 530. It’s not all bad though, I’ve started meal prepping and trying not to eat out. I also started going back to the gym and trying to take better care of myself. While I was in school I was on the go for 15 hours a day so eating right and exercising took a back seat.

Now as I try to get into the groove of things I try to keep a positive mindset. I’ve made a habit of pointing out the positives to myself and dealing with and discarding the negative. I’ve learned throughout my college career that attitude is everything and will affect anything you do. I’m not sure what the future holds for me right now but I am excited to find out. Now that I’ve achieved what I thought was impossible I am more confident than ever; I believe in who I am and what I can do. That ability is invaluable, you need to value everything about yourself, no matter where you are.

A Note on Beauty

A-Note-on-Beauty_01

A-Note-on-Beauty_02

On most mornings, you can often find me cross-legged in front of a mirror buffing on eyeshadow. It’s a process:

A-Note-on-Beauty_03

Admittedly, I had begun wearing makeup to please the false gods of society and snooty middle school girls who I always thought were cooler than me. I was delving into the world of beauty for the sake of others.

A-Note-on-Beauty_04

I was trying to match looks that weren’t necessarily meant for me, for the sake of fitting in. So, instead of makeup being a source of creative expression and confidence, it became a crutch and a prison. I HAD TO LOOK LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS!

In hindsight, however, I think I had to go through that painful stage to get to where I am now. I wasn’t born naturally assured of my worth and I had to work for it. I still do. Because of this, makeup for me today isn’t the same as it was for me five or six years ago. Where putting on eyeliner and the perfect mascara was a tool to fit in, those things today I do for myself.

Naturally, there are the skeptics:

“That’s BS. You just want to impress boys.”

“If you were actually confident, you wouldn’t wear makeup. You’d be fine with your own face.”

A-Note-on-Beauty_05

Well, I am fine with my own face. Thank you for the concern! Of course, there are days where I don’t feel one hundred percent and need the makeup to give me a little boost. But for the most part, I am happy with what my mama gave me. I have been living in my body for all 19 years of my life and I’ve seen it evolve and change and I have learned to love its little nooks and crannies. My makeup has become part of my routine, just like coffee or showers. And believe me, I don’t drink coffee or care for my hygiene for the sake of others.

A-Note-on-Beauty_06

A great little instagram video I saw a couple of years back mirrors my sentiments perfectly:

(Instagram: @tinawoodsss)

The first time I put purple on my eyelids at fifteen, I could hardly give two toots about what the cute guy in science thought. I put it on because I liked the way it made my eyes look. That same sentiment applies for the reds and yellows I put on my lids in the present, despite the colors not being “in season.”

I was scrolling through YouTube a few days ago, and I happened to watch a video of actor Dove Cameron getting her hair dyed. While her hair was processing, she and the man doing her hair were sitting outside in the LA sun, talking about life and beauty.  About two and three quarters of a minute into the video, Dove says something that has stuck with me. She explains that Beauty gets a “bad rep” because it is often associated with vanity. But, “…if it comes from a place of self-love, it’s fun.”

Makeup isn’t necessarily about being prettier about everyone else. At least it isn’t for me. For me, the way I do my makeup or the way I dress isn’t to impress the world or boys or picky middle school girls. For me, Beauty has transformed from a social pressure into another piece of art. I do it for the love of it.

A-Note-on-Beauty_07

Hey, if anyone has any interesting eyeshadow looks you could suggest for me to recreate, please leave me a link below!

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week!

Pebbles <3

My Life is a Bakery

book with empty cup of coffee

Image by: Sofia Oliveira

Welcome back to all the students of City Tech…it is truly an honor to have the opportunity to return as a blogger for Openlab’s The Buzz despite being a graduate of the college. I hope that everyone is excited to become so busy with classes, tests, and homework that you barely have time for a social life. But honestly, I hope that everyone has a successful semester and is proud of themselves for getting another semester started, getting closer to their goal of graduation. I thought a lot about what I wanted my first post to be about…what I wanted to discuss. As always, food is what motivates me, it is the one thing that I never cease to have a passion for. I cannot remember a time when I didn’t have an appreciation for food and its innovation in our world. When I write my posts, I tend to battle with myself: a debate on what is appropriate to write or discuss especially when it is personally affecting my life. I wonder if being honest about my personal struggles is helpful to others or too humiliating to put on such a public forum. The truth is, no matter who you are, we all face our own specific struggles on the day-to-day basis.

From my experience and having graduated college, it has honestly been the most difficult time for me. It is the first time in my life where academics don’t play a central role in my life. I don’t have to worry about homework assignments, midterms, finals, or attending six classes. And yet, I have no clear idea of what I want to do with my life now. A ton has occurred in my life that has forever changed me into a different person. I have dealt with loss and faced both depression as well as anxiety. I quit baking because it didn’t bring me as much joy as it once did. I wanted happiness but I felt guilty for it.

The month of January was a big turning point for me as I was able to hang out with my sister Sabrina more often without her stressful and tedious college schedule. She is my confidant, my best friend. I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. She has seen me in both my best and worst moments. I love her. She has helped to guide me through my depression as she motivated me to maintain a social life and by getting me out of the house. We were able to embark on many adventures during her break from school. One of my favorite places to go with her is Mia’s Bakery which is located not too far from the college. It has a café within a bakery where you can sit down peacefully while enjoying the amazing drinks and pastries that they offer. It has been the host place for many deep conversations that we have divulged.

a decorated plate of pie and a mug filled with green tea

Image by: Brianna Vasquez

The last time that we went there, we enjoyed ourselves as always: laughing, exchanging secrets, and carrying on about the current situations in our lives. I had the banana cream pie and a matcha latte…both were utterly delicious. I cannot merely put into words the richness and creaminess of the pie while the matcha perfectly offset the sweetness of the dessert. Sabrina thoroughly enjoyed her strawberry marble cheesecake and a vanilla macchiato. It is times like these that I live for…the simple togetherness of people and enjoying each other’s company.