HW for Mon (3/11)

Hi everyone,

Quickly: a reminder to activate your ID/library card.  You need an activated card to do research on Essay 2 from home/off-campus. 

…and the reading for Monday: Read Graf, “Yes, No, OK, but…”  If you haven’t yet, read Griffiths’ and Martin’s texts that were assigned for this week.  Also: continue revising Essay 1.

…and your blog assignment (2 parts to this one, respond as a “reply” to this thread, thanks!):

Reading Response Prompt
Re-read the opening of Dawn Lundry Martin’s “When a Person Goes Missing” and respond briefly to the following reading response questions before moving on to the “Writing Prompt” below.
Notice how Martin opens the essay with a brief, but provocative “scene.”
–What is it exactly that makes this a “scene”?  In the opening paragraphs, what are some of the images and actions that Martin shows us?
–What does the essay as a whole seem to be about?  How does its opening scene “show us” (and lead us into) what the essay is going to be about?  What is the effect on you (as a reader) of Martin’s decision to begin the essay with a “scene”?
Writing Prompt: Beginning with a Scene/Image
Look back over your essay and think of a “scene” and/or image you could begin with.  Start writing a new opening section (2+ paragraphs) of your essay, beginning with this scene/image.
E-mail me if you need help!
xx
M

25 thoughts on “HW for Mon (3/11)”

  1. Reading Response Prompt:
     
    The beginning of the passage starts off by Dawn describing a memory of her brother’s actions when she was in grade school and he was a teenager in high school. Becoming a scene to the reader because of how the detailed events of that particular incident were expressed and how they occurred. In the first paragraph Martin describes what her brother Bruce was doing home in the first place, how he was easily influenced by others to cut school at his house. But also short tempered, once the group of boys wouldn’t comply with his request to leave his house, grabbing his father’s shotgun and motioning all of the high schoolers into the bathroom, making sure to point the gun up towards the ceiling in case his finger slipped on the trigger. Martin makes it clear that, that’s what actually happened and Bruce accidentally pulled the trigger on the shotgun, leaving a hole in the bathroom ceiling going up through the attic and out in the sky. Dawn’s essay, introduces the topic of how a black man or boy can go “missing” in the United States. With various meanings of missing- not knowing oneself, not having or really knowing freedom, being lost in the “correctional” systems, with correctional having sort of double jeopardy meaning. The opening of this greets you with the actions of a young black man, that would lead him into a world of arrests and incarcerations for petty and major crimes. “How two black kids raised by the same working-class parents could have radically different life outcomes because, as fate would have it, divergent occurrences compel divergent paths.” Dawn stated in her essay, which makes me feel empathy for the siblings in black working families who weren’t the do “gooders”, and fall victim of following the crowd, getting lost in society and ending up in systematic correctional facilities. I felt the importance of that specific event in her brothers life, that would help one determine or understand what path he would end up on his existence.

    1. Great response, Syeeda.  I think you’ve articulated quite well what a scene is and does when you write that Martin’s opening scene conveys “the detailed events of that particular incident… and how they occurred.”

      I wonder what you would think of reading back through this and removing some of the commas—I’m not sure all (or many) of them are necessary.  See what you think.

      I also wanted to know more about how you responded to Martin’s self-presentation as a “do-gooder.”  I wasn’t quite clear on how you responded to that aspect of the essay.  Why do you think she presents herself in this way?

      M

      1. —Unlike his sister Dawn who prided herself on being the good kid and doesn’t mind when her light shines brighter because her brother’s had dimmed, knowing that she would be the exception to make it out of their bad circumstances or neighborhood while being black. I think Martin represented herself this way because she didn’t want to become a statistic, or feel contained like every other black person she knew of. She was able to experience things like Skiing with white kids from her school and their families while Bruce was “tethered tightly to a familiar story of trouble and poverty” a commonly known struggle in the black and less fortunate communities.

        Opening scene for Essay 1;

        Catfishing now is so much harder than it was back in 2002/2003. I remember being 12/13 and getting away with Catfishing someone. Even though my Catfish was humanly and universally justified due to the circumstances, I don’t feel bad at all, but not on a sociopathic level . This was back when AOL was dial up and I believe the only way to connect to the internet, they had the little yellow man moving into a running motion as your connection was being established, logging on to the World Wide Web.
        My friend at the time, Starnisha, was in a Teens chat room while we sat in her mother’s living room waiting for my mom to pick me up. Star kept receiving instant messages from this boy we will name Jay— asking her for nudes and sending her pictures of him holding his penis. I remember one of the pictures must have been taken after he masturbated because he had semen on his stomach and at the time we were like “why does he having icing on him?” We were more weirded out than amused. I had felt like he violated us in some way and boundaries were crossed. When I got home, I made another profile using a pornstar’s picture we had searched while I was at Star’s house . Our profile was really basic, a intriguingly explicit profile picture of “Eve”, 25 years of age and located in the same exact city as the creep Jay, The Bay Area. Jay ended up telling Eve the pornstar (us) he was 35, which we had kind of guessed from his pictures because he didn’t have a teenagers body.
        The catfishing had went on for months Jay kept insisting that him and Eve the pornstar meet, even after sending money to random people via western union thinking it was assistants and reps until I couldn’t think of anymore lies that had matched the story we had originally given to Jay and told him he was going to jail for child pornography for trying to traffic minors to another state. Jay cursed Star and I out! Calling us all types of black bitches and also reporting the profile. We didn’t care though we had a good laugh and felt like he should have learned his lesson to stay out of Teen chat rooms s when he was clearly a grown ass man.

    2. Hey Sayeeda,

      I love how you describe the scene in chronological order. The way you wrote it builds up a scene that shows action within a character and its plot. Towards the passage I feel the same way, its a heart touching feeling that gets to you. I feel like the ones who aren’t the gooders and especially targeted by color are looked down upon which is very tragic and disappointing.

  2. A scene is a section of a story where a character or characters engage in action or told through dialogues. The purpose of a scene is to relate to the overall story. What makes the opening of the scene a scene in “When a Person Goes Missing” is that the author Dawn Laundry starts off letting us know that while her brother was a teenager she was in grade school and then leads us with action that occurs. Her brother brought over some bullies from the school to their house and they were not wanting to leave so her brother decided to grab their fathers shotgun making them go into the bathroom while aiming the gun to the ceiling to prevent shooting just in case if the finger slip. The reason that is a scene is because its an action that the character is engaged in. What the essay in a whole seems to be about is about Freedom in the United States and how it can be taken away from a person. What the essay shows us and what it tells us where it’s going to lead us to is that a person a boy or a man is going to be taken away being locked up as a prisoner. The first essay gives us clues such as locking the people into the bathroom and having a shotgun in possession to scare them. To me as a reader, I personally think starting an essay with a scene helps the reader get an visual idea of what might happen throughout the story not only does it give a visual idea but also makes the story more fascinating and interesting to read.
     
    My Essay:
     
    May 29th   Devastated after losing my grandmother, I heard the voices of two people in my living room. Two people who were not close to me, but were the reason this story began. It was her parents, visiting my family to check up on us after the death. I hurried to see if she was with them, but that excitement faded away the instant I stepped out of my room. Disappointed, I reminded myself what happened the last three years and go back to my room. Knowing I brought this upon myself, I shifted my mind back to praying for my late grandmother. As I am counting the beads of my tasbih (a set of prayer beads in Islam), I hear a notification and see my phone light up. Not believing my eyes, I rush to my phone and read her name on the screen. A message from Sadia Ahmed. Out of all the people that should have gotten in contact with me during this time, it was the one person who I hurt the most before. Her sincerity touched my heart, knowing she put up with my bullshit for a whole three years. After responding to her message, I put my phone down and came back to reality.
     
    June 16th Two weeks passed by. I accepted what has happened and I decided to move on with my life. Scrolling through my phone like any other Sunday, I notice that one message I never answered. Her message full of compassion about how I was and how my family was. I made the same mistake I have been making the last three years. Going against all odds, I text her, apologizing for not replying.
     

    1. Wahid, this is great.  I really like your encapsulation of what a scene does when you write:

      “I personally think starting an essay with a scene helps the reader get an visual idea of what might happen throughout the story.”

      With that it mind, can you clarify how your opening scene helps the reader get a visual idea of what might happen throughout your essay?  Or, if after re-reading you feel your scene doesn’t do this, perhaps there is another scene you could write that would do it better?

      Also, in your scenes, check the verb tenses: I think you’re trying to use present tense but some of your verbs are still in past tense.

      Thanks,

      m

  3. What makes the opening of the scene a scene in “When a Person Goes Missing” is that the creator Dawn Laundry begins to tell us that while her sibling was a young person, she was in secondary school and after that drives us to make a move. Her sibling conveyed a few domineering jerks from the school to their home and they would not like to leave, so her sibling Bruce chose to take the shotgun from their dads to the restroom while indicating the weapon the roof to abstain from shooting if the finger slips. Martin said that Bruce accidentally pulled the trigger on the shotgun. The essay shows us that no matter what, in certain situations, there will be consequences and that thing might be, being locked up.

     

    1. Hi Mazharul,

      At the end of your post you write:

      “The essay shows us that no matter what, in certain situations, there will be consequences and that thing might be, being locked up.”

      Can you explain a bit more about how the opening scenes from the essay leads us into this idea about consequences?

      Also, can you post your own opening scene?  Thanks. M

  4. What makes this reading a “scene” is that its description of an incident that occurred either it be real or fiction. In the opening paragraph some of  image and action that Martin showed us was the time her brother pointed a shotgun and it accidentally going off putting a massive hole in the ceiling because the group of boys he had invited over to their house didn’t want to leave. The essay as a whole seems to be about the Martin describes her and he bothers life an the difference outcome in life they had even thought the grown up in the same household. Also she talks about how people of color specially black men are being incarcerated and co parting it to going missing. Then opening scene lead us into what the essay is going to be about by illustrated that even thought siblings can have the same upbringing but have completely different outcome of life. I thinking it was a good decision that Martin started of f with the scene because it gave us the readers a clearer understanding of how the decisions of her bother made contributed to they way his life is now and it goes the same for her.

    1. Mindy,

      You’re really on to something here:

      “The opening scene leads us into what the essay is going to be about by illustrating that even though siblings can have the same upbringing they can also have completely different outcome of life” (notice my small revisions).

      I’m curious as to why you think there were such “different outcomes” for Martin and her brother Bruce.  Does the essay suggest any clues?  I’d also like to see your own opening scene for your essay 1.  Can you post it, please?

      Thanks,
      M

      1. The reason why I think that is because due to the incident with the bullying boys at the house Bruce was probably afraid to go back to school therefore dropping out. This was the start of bad decisions Bruce will make in life for example when he was arrested for being in a stolen car. There are many clues in the essay that suggest that for example Martin said she mind when her bother failed because that mean her light shone even brighter. Also was able to do things like go on ski trips with her white friends and their families all while Bruce is at home creating his own safe space in his bedroom.
        Writing Response
        It was a Friday night and I had no plans just sitting on the couch watching the entertainment channel when a story about the Kim Kardashian and the latest magazine shoot she did which she was completely naked for which was nothing new for a Kardashian.
        In listening to the comminatory and looking though my Instagram feed and the explore pages I realize that we live in the age of smartphones and the constant evolution of the infamous selfie. In the passage by Jerry Salz titled “Art at Arm’s Length,” he describes a selfie as being a fast self-portrait, taken with a smartphone camera and is immediately distributed and inscribed into a network.
        A selfie is an instant visual of communication of where we are, what we’re doing, who we think we are, and who we think is watching. Selfies have changed the aspect of social interactions with others, self-awareness, privacy, our humor, body language and our behaviors.
        Getting the perfect selfie has become the biggest craze in the ear of social media. The popular social network right now is Instagram. It’s where one can post pictures and receive what’s called “likes” by followers, who can either be a friend, family but most of the time it’s people they have never meet before. The more followers you have, the famous you are well at least according to Instagram.   
         

    2. Hello Mindy,

      I like how you talk about her brother and her life growing up in the same household and how black men are being incarcerated and being mistreated.

  5. What is it exactly that makes this a “scene”?  In the opening paragraphs, what are some of the images and actions that Martin shows us?

    The very first has that provocative “scene” and it is a scene because of just how ‘in your face’ it gets. It sounds like some fantasy that some kid has, that they wish they could threaten their bullies with a shotgun. What makes this even more of a “scene” is how quickly it escalated, as I was not expecting a shotgun (no one ever does, I guess), and even less it actually being shot.

    In the second paragraph, Martin paints a brutal picture of her father beating her brother with a hose in their basement. After this incident, she describes that they eventually diverged, her floating off, while her brother was stuck in this community and to the stereotypes that come with it.

    In the following paragraphs, Martin paints a completely opposite picture of her childhood experiences, which includes a smug recounting of how the “middle-class blacks” would be impressed by her speech, regardless of what she said. Furthermore, she was allowed to go on vacations with “white families” because she shone brighter than her brother by comparison.

    What does the essay as a whole seem to be about?  How does its opening scene “show us” (and lead us into) what the essay is going to be about?  What is the effect on you (as a reader) of Martin’s decision to begin the essay with a “scene”?

    The essay seems to be about how Grant is just as missing from her family, her community, and the issues they face, just as her brother was for those two nights. The title would make you think that this is all about those two nights her brother is missing, but she goes on to confess that she avoids her family, not directly, but in a way that doesn’t “corrupt her good life.” All throughout her life, she was the exception to the black stereotypes, yet admits in the very last paragraph that she suffers the same worries that most people do.

    Grant mentions in the paragraph how the opening scene is basically a foreshadowing of how life would turn out for the both of them. Her brother, who would end up in a string of bad situations, from the bullying boys, to dropping out, to being caught with a stolen car, to being locked up for not paying child support because he had a few dollars in his pocket. And Grant, just the observing sister, who avoided these situations and settled into life beyond the bubble she believed her brother to be living in, chained down by stereotypes.

    Having such a provocative scene really sets the tone of the article, as the incidents recalled during the story line up with the disaster of an incident mentioned in the opening paragraph. However, it sets up the reader to not expect the twist when it comes, that being Grant feeling like, in a way, that she is also missing. Missing from her community, her family, and their identity, just because she didn’t fit the stereotypes.

    Writing Prompt: Beginning with a Scene/Image

    It was the most normal of days, it was the weirdest of days. I was just on the train, enjoying my commute, heading to see a friend. Music blasting in my ears, reading a page from Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. Even now, I can recall the feelings I went through reading that book when I listen back to the same music. Upon reaching 23rd Street, I got a text. That wasn’t out of the ordinary, but what it contained made all the blood in my body rush to my head. “You’re one stop away.”

    Where does one learn the power to inexplicably, and inadvertently, piss someone off? I wasn’t in the habit of turning on my location services on my phone, but the one time I do, my friend correctly predicts where I am? And has never done this before? All these thoughts and more were rushing through my head, as I responded to my friend, telling them to knock it off. I scowled, reassuring to myself that I was indeed in the right when it came to securing my privacy.

    1. Zean,

      This is a truly fabulous post—a really nuanced reading of Martin’s text and a dramatic opening pair of paragraphs.  I really like how the emphasis in the second part of your post falls on Martin’s self-indictment throughout “When a Person Goes Missing.”  You write:

      “The essay seems to be about how Grant is just as missing from her family, her community, and the issues they face, just as her brother was for those two nights.”

      Actually, re-reading you makes me think that perhaps it’s not even her self-indictment that you’re arguing is at stake in the essay but rather her foregrounding of her own distance (or “missingness”) from her own family.  I suppose I tend to understand one of the powerful aspects of this essay to be Martin’s rendering herself culpable for this distance but perhaps it’s more that the essay presents her upward mobility (which draws her away from her family) as simply another symptom (like Bruce’s ongoing struggle with incarceration) of a society in which people of color are routinely disappeared.

      Just a thought about your opening scene: could the first paragraph be expanded to include a bit more narrative/detail?  What happens next?  Who is texting you? etc. I like the cliffhanger vibe—as well as the angular transition into the paragraphs which open the next paragraph—but am thinking you could keep going a bit with the narrative before punctuating it with reflection.  It’s funny, right now the first paragraph is quite dramatic: that we don’t know who the text is from leads us to think this could be a real creep!  (It actually reminded me of a scene in the film “Personal Shopper” in which the feminine protagonist receives a string of very personal texts from an unknown number—it’s horrifying!)

      Thanks,
      M

  6. Reading Prompt:

    In this beginning section of this essay, the author begins with a scene. This can be identified as a scene because it is giving a brief description to a scene that is referring to what the author will be talking about in the essay. This writing creates imagery through the specific descriptions and chronological things that took place in this moment. The narrator describes the scenario where the brother grabs a shotgun and takes the boys into the bathroom, he explains how his finger slipped which made him shoot the gun, however the point was facing the ceiling. These are the descriptions where it is easy to imagine what is going on, which is why this can be a scene. This shows us the essay is going to have to do with what took place after this scene and all the other details, this beginning scene gives a bit of an insight and foreshadows the important moment which caused this piece of writing. Starting off with a scene is an essential hook, it made me as a reader more interested to know what else had happened because of the way it was described.

    Writing Promt:

    In our modern day age of technology, social media has had a big influence in our everyday lives. We have been introduced to various phenomenons as social media has developed and has continued to become a constantly growing part of our everyday life. Day by day we live through new trends, constant posts and more. Phenomenons such as: the newest relatable memes, numerous selfies, cat fishing, and so on is part of this ongoing list. One part of this list of what has become part of our lives and is very popular in a subtle way are the trending “challenges” on social media that many people participate in. This particular phenomenon passed and started through social media stands out differently within all of them. Everyone has had their own personal experiences containing within these phenomenons, including myself. When looked into, these challenges portray different messages in many different ways, they come from a source with a background to them. When explored, these challenges will give you a different intake and perspective on social media and how it affects us all as communities of people and society as a whole.

    The phenomena of challenges on the internet range from challenges that spread awareness to challenges that are just pointless. When speaking about viral challenges that have had significant impacts, the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge comes to mind. The sole purpose of the

    challenge was to dump a bucket of ice cold water over your head to spread awareness for ALS. ALS is amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and it is a fatal disease that restricts ones ability to move, eat, and speak. Unfortunately, those diagnosed with the disease have a life expectancy between two and five years. The most influential part of these viral challenges are when celebrities attempt the challenge which often leads to a whole fan base doing it. For instance, there were celebrities such as LeBron James, Oprah, and Mark Zuckerberg who nominated several other celebrities to take on the challenge. One may ask what the point is, when you could simply donate money, however, the reason behind it is to spread the awareness in a way the doesn’t always involve money. A perfect example is ex-President Obama, who was nominated to take on the challenge, but declined it, and made a donation instead. 

    1. Hi Samira,

      I agree with you, starting off with a scene can be an essential hook. Dawn’s scene was essential because it did interest me to want to know what was going to happen next and the point of the text. How she described what happened between her brother and the bullies was easily imaginable, a mini movie playing in your head as you read.

       

      Sy’

  7. Reading Response Prompt:

    -What makes the opening paragraph of “When a Person Goes Missing” a scene is the setting, and the phrases the author used to describe what transpired in that setting. The setting takes place in a house, then the author goes on to dramatize the scene by including phrases such as “grabbed our father’s shotgun”. Martin explains where the shotgun was pointed, why it was being pointed in that specific direction, & how the shotgun was triggered to go off.

    – The whole essay seems to be about a troubled brother, that had a rough childhood and a corrupted family. Martin explains in the second paragraph that the boy was beaten with a hose by his unforgiving father after getting in trouble for stealing a car. The opening scene leads into what the essay is going to be about by giving a description of why the boy has been troubled since he was young. The boy was bullied in school, which led him into using his fathers shotgun behind his fathers back, which then led to him into making a horrifying mistake. Martin’s decision to begin the essay with that scene grabbed my attention and raised my curiosity about what will happen next. Martin’s use of the scene made the reading more interesting.

    Writing Prompt: 

    Walking home from school on a hot summer day, passing through Downtown Brooklyn, I witnessed a stampede of teeneagers around my age making a ruckus. I couldn’t help but notice bright police lights and large school safety vans. Instantly, I remembered my mom telling me never to walk towards a crowd, walk in the opposite direction. As much as I wanted to get closer, it didn’t seem safe nor wise at all. There were backpacks flying, loud screaming and cussing, nose bleeds, handcuffs, notebooks and utensils all over the floor. I would have pulled out my phone and recorded but my battery was dying. I stepped a foot closer to see what was going on, then all of a sudden everyone started running in my direction. I heard the cops yelling “stop!” as they chased after some of the students. I hurried to the train station hoping that I would not get grabbed and blamed for something I didn’t do. I was upset that I didn’t get to see what had happened, but I was even more scared of getting arrested for being a bystander. I know my mom would have told me it was my fault because I should’ve came straight home from school. I remembered seeing people with their phones out recording everything. Someone was bound to post a video on Facebook.

  8. Reading prompt,

    The scene that makes it provocative is when Bruce took his father shotgun and threatening his friends to leave. It was very interesting because I thought he will end up killing one of his friends but he didn’t. Martin shows us panic and fear associated with violence. The essay as a whole seems to be about fate and the struggle of African American male. As the writer indicated “public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines or rather indicates his fate.”

    The opening scene thought us about the truth of decision making. For example, Bruce made a bad decision by skipping school and invited his friends over. Afterwards he regretted his decision and asked them to leave but they refused, he frightening them with his dad shotgun. Action like this followed Bruce through out his life. On the other hand his sister ( Dawn) made the right decision by staying in school and ended up having a better life. Martin’s decision thought us the important of staying in school and making the right decision, that will enable us to have a decent career.

    Writing Prompt,

    The main character looked at her brother (Bruce) with pity. She thought Bruce was behavior is like a little boy, cried  about his problem instead of fought back. Bruce had dreams and inspirations that were not realistic. He wanted to be and architect but didn’t have the education to back it up. Bruce life is full of mistakes and disappointment.

    Bruce ex-wife took him to court for child support, he was placed in custody. His sister had to pay $1500 to bailed him out, his poor mother was worried about him. Bruce had a very difficult life because he made bad decisions from the begin.

     

  9. Reading Response Prompt:

    A scene that is described in the passage is at the very beginning where Dawn describing a memory of her brother who was a teenager while she was in grade school and the scene takes a turn as her brother bringing over bullies to their house, where her brother decided to grab their father’s shotgun. After he grabbed their father’s shotgun, they headed into the bathroom, aiming the gun to the ceiling. Anyone reading the passage can picture this scene because it describes what is taken place in this particular scene. Freedom is something that is important in the United States, but in this essay Dawn talks about how freedom can be taken away from someone by saying that they are “missing.”  The first part of the essay reflects how freedom can be taken away from someone with having a shotgun in possession, in a way that can make us lead to some going “missing” meaning that they have been taken away or locked up, making them face the consequences for their actions.

    Writing Prompt:

    In July of 2012, my boyfriend and I were heading towards Canal Street to take the ChinaTown bus to Florida to meet my older sister. This was the first time we took the bus all the way to Florida, and this was my boyfriend’s first time to Florida. It was a nice day as we boarded on the bus, looking for our seats to see a couple in our seats. We kindly asked them if they change seats because they were in our seats, and surely enough they moved and we packed our bags in the back and took our seats. We were on that bus for 15 hours but it felt like forever, but we were enjoying company which was reassuring. Even though we took breaks between towns to get food and to stretch our feet. Around 5 -8 hours of being on the bus, there I was listening to music on my phone while my boyfriend next to me was reading a comic, we made a stop at a gas station in Atlanta, Georgia. We immediately got up and went outside enjoying the cool air even though it was night and most of the stores were closed. The only store that was open was SUBWAY (not the train station, the sandwich store), which was the only place we could get some food for the the couple of hours we have left. After we got our food, we headed back on the bus and ate our food happily, it felt like years since we have eaten as they driver continued driving to Florida. ,

    Shortly after a few hours, we arrived in Florida, but the bad thing was that my phone died. So I had to use my boyfriend’s phone to call my sister and tell her that we have arrived, plus if she was on her way to meet us at the drop off point which was Orlando, Florida. We were so excited to be in Florida, it looks so beautiful the beaches and just being somewhere different besides New York was exciting. 10 minutes passed since we were dropped off, next thing we heard a honk not knowing who it was. The black Infinity car’s window was scrolled down showing my sister’s face as she yelled out to us. Quickly we ran over to her and hopped into her car, lucky she found us. I introduced her to my boyfriend and they hit it off right off the bat.

     

  10. Reading Prompt:

    In this passage, called When a person Goes Missing by Dawn Lundy Martin. It talks about how Dawn remembers a memory of her brother’s letting bullies bully him from high school and the bullies convince him to skip school for the day and let them hang out at his house, but Dawn brother told them to leave but they didn’t leave and etc. This made it a scene because it has a lot of details in the passage and it has a lot of information about the incident and how the situation occurred. In the beginning of the paragraph Martin was describing how when the bullies refused to leave her brother Bruce house he took his father’s shotgun and gather all the bullies to his bathroom and it was locked from the inside. Bruce make sure the gun was aimed on the ceiling to make sure no one got hurt and as in case if his fingers slip and trigger the gun. For example in When a person Goes Missing by Dawn Lundy Martin it states “So my brother grabbed our father’s shotgun and corralled them into the bathroom, the barrel pointed in their direction. The bathroom door now locked from the inside, my brother held the gun, luckily, up toward the ceiling, so that when his finger slipped and the mechanism went off, the bullet with its massive force went through the second-floor ceiling, the attic, and then out the roof of the house into the sky” (Paragraph 1). The whole essay was about how a teenage boy action made him get arrested and placed in correctional systems. Martin’s begin a scene in the beginning of her passage because she want to make the reader want to read more about what will happen next and how the problem was fixed or being neutral about it. 

    Writing Prompt: Beginning with a Scene/Image:

    Body imagine could also be defined as a selfies. Body imagine, can be defined as as a mental representation, we create what we think we look like. Body imagine connects to social media because social media make people feel that they have low self-esteem about themselves and it make people think negatively about themselves. For example, one time my sister friend saw a victoria secret female model on youtube video and she was like I want her body shape, so she said “I’m going to starve myself”. This turned into a really dreadful situation because it caused her to have depression and an eating disorder. We all notice that when ever we all get together she would hoard the food (her plate are stacked really high with food). Also, sometime when my sister goes over to her house she see her take diet pills which helps prevent her from eating and in the bathroom she saw a lot of laxatives products in her bathroom. During this process my sister’s friend she tended to go to the bathroom after eating each meal and she forced herself to throw up and we heard her from outside the bathroom. This eating disorder was resolve in a way that took like almost couple of months.

  11. When we look at the definition of a scene, which is a place where an incident in real life or fiction occurs or occurred. We can see why the opening of the essay can be considered a scene. The essay starts off by martin describing a childhood memory of her older teenage brother. She states how she was in grade school at the time and her brother was in high school invited some “bullying kids” who convinced him to skip schools. However When they refused to leave he threatened them with here fathers shotgun and accidentally fired it in to the ceiling. Throughout the opening martin puts us into the essay by giving a detailed description of what happen and why it happened. the details in the first paragraph gives me as a reader a great visual as to whats going because rather then telling us she is showing  us ultimately leading us into the rest of the text.
    In summary the essay seems to be about her and her brother and how even though they grew up in the same household there was a difference in the outcome of their lives. She also writes about how her brother troubled youth inevitably led him to make terrible mistakes and how she did her best to stray away from her brother’s lifestyle so she could maintain her do good image.

  12.  
    In the beginning of Martin’s essay, she starts off with an anecdote about her brother’s life. We take a small peek into Bruce’s childhood. A menacing scene is painted. Bullies, isolation and guns. It’s the perfect recipe for a shitstorm. That storm paved a way for more destruction to follow. “We can smell a hint of devastation, can’t we, a scent we can’t quite recognize on first whiff but turn our noses away from knowingly. Where will our characters end up?” In this case Martin’s brother went missing. This essay is written about Lundy’s brother. She claims that her brother is missing. We were give one crucially character defining moment. It soiled a boy with bright dreams. “That night, my father beat my brother mercilessly with a washing machine hose in the dank basement of our house. The chaos of a violence like that is astonishing. The cacophonous screaming. The inability of anyone to stop it.” That day Bruce went missing.
    This scene was sober. It intrigued me then chilled me. It escalated with lightning speed. I’ve never stared down a barrel, but can only imagine the terror spilling from their eyes. I can hear Bruce’s heart thumping. I feel stung with tension.
    Opening Scene to Essay #1
    Chaos is a conflicting comfort. Like a blankie to a child. Bedtime stories, tucked in sheets. Hugs. Kisses. Love. I want to describe chaos in many different ways: What is it accompanied by? Perhaps smells and sights. Perhaps a touch as well. Chaotic forces.
    Mosh pits are chaos! – (Summer, Tyler, the Creator)
    “Don’t fall.”

    It’s my only concern as I am flinging my arms and smashing into other people’s bodies. Maybe While jumping around I pass by so many faces. In a split second, I had seen a kid with a skateboard, a man with a full beard, and dreadlocks dancing to the rhythm. I come in contact with shoulders, elbows, jabs, righthooks, and uppercuts. Lyrics are being screamed. Sweat is flying. I sneak glances at Tyler. He’s shredded his yellow striped shirt revealing a bare chest.
     

  13. Opening scene for essay 1
    I feel Josh fists on my right arm multiple times. I start to ask him “what’s wrong with you?” “stop”. He keeps telling me  “your stupid you are so stupid” multiple times. I already had a bad feeling my stomach which felt weird. He goes I’m gonna tell you this but you can’t say i said anything. I immediately reply “Its Gina and Junior right are they doing something?” He said “yes” my stomach and my heart sunk. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say but at the same time i did. “They’ve been messing around since last month.“ Standing in the train holding onto the pole I couldn’t just keep quiet I wanted to beat them both up for lying to me. She was my best friend, he was my first love. I hadn’t felt deeply in love with anyone before.   
     

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