Winston Aitken
616 Crescent St
Brooklyn, NY 11208
February 27, 2015
Equipment Breakdown Risk Engineer Trainee – Loss Control
Chubb Corporation
New York, New York
Dear Hiring Manager,
While I was browsing the internet earlier looking for a job position, I came across your website and I noticed that you guys were recruiting applicant for the EBRE trainee position. After learning about the opportunities at the Chubb Corporation, my interest in this position has expanded greatly. I am aware that this company is the twelfth largest in the United States along with nationwide networking. Though I have not worked for a company as unique, I have significant experience at other organizations that parallels that which is required at Chubb Corporation
Being a part of student government, I noticed that there was a lack of communication between the nineteen members because some members have different schedules, while the other members do not check their email frequently; however, my friends and I did a little research and came up with the idea of using an app called “WhatsApp.” Consequently, communications between all the members have increase to ninety nine percent.
I am happy regarding being possible a part of this unique company; I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you to further discuss the values that I can bring to the Chubb Corporation. Thank you for your time and effort, and I appreciate your consideration.
• Reverse Engineer the Letter: Without looking at the job ad/listing, read the letter. Then write down what you think the job ad says—you are reverse engineering the letter/ad by doing this—trying to see if you can figure out the job ad just from the letter.
Equipment Breakdown Risk Engineer Trainee – Loss Control
• Read the job ad. Were you close in your reverse engineering attempt? If you were, then the letter probably meets with some of the employer’s needs. If you weren’t, has the author missed understanding the employer’s needs? Or have they just emphasized certain things and overlooked others?
Yes.
• Does the letter make the person applying seem like a good applicant; an unappealing applicant; or an outstanding applicant?
Good applicant.
• Explain why and how you made the judgment in #3. If the applicant was not an outstanding candidate, explain what you think the author needs to do to get into a higher pile.
Suggestion #1: Although it is understandable, I think it would be better to mention in words that the research you did on 2nd paragraph will help you succeed in new company.
Suggestion #2: Since you do not have any work experience, it would be better to mention that you loved one or two courses related to that job.
• Is the letter free of spelling, mechanical, and grammar errors? Let the author know about the errors you see.
No. Errors are pointed out to author.
BEFORE READING THE JOB AD:
This job is seeking an applicant for EBRE trainee position. They also want someone who has great communication skills and can have excellent time-management skills. I also believe they are looking for someone who can research to find a solution.
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AFTER READING THE JOB AD:
Reading this ad, I learn there is a lot of history in this company. I would incorporate that also mention what you are majoring in and your ability to quickly identify risks and will develop improvements in their customer base. You should also include things you have learn and accomplished in school. Like projects, they do mention the responsibilities like inspections, service plans audits, and control evaluations. You should include this. A lot of what you wrote is very basic that you can use for any job, get more detail with what this job requires and integrate that in your cover letter. Not only can you mention that you have great communication skills, talk about you build great professional relationships and help others with any of their building and maintaining problems that you can quickly and carefully solve. Also discuss the soft wares you know and your passion in this field.
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WHAT KIND OF APPLICANT ARE YOU?
This letter makes you a good applicant. I feel like you are almost there, but you should be more detail in what your specified goal is in this job, like mention what your major is at city tech, which im guessing you are an engineer. So mention that you are an engineer who can quickly solve problems and has great communication skills. Also mention more specifically what actual abilities you have that can help this company.