Writing about your relationship and history with money can be a powerful way to learn about yourself and what is important to you. Our relationship with money shapes how we feel about ourselves, our relatives, our relationship with power, our understanding of generosity, ….and a lot more. Below are some of the questions that can help you think about how to write about money. (Many of these questions were inspired by questions posed on this thoughtful resource: Writing Your Money Autobiography.)
- What is the role of money in your childhood? What is your happiest memory in connection with money?What is your unhappiest memory? What attitude about money did your parent, parents, or caregivers have? What was your attitude toward money as a child? Did you perceive yourself as poor or rich? Was your perception accurate? How did you form that perception? Did you worry about money?
- What was your attitude about money as a young adult? Did you your understanding of generosity in relationship to money change? Did you have responsibilities about how to handle money at this time? Who influenced your understanding about money at this time? (This might be a relative who did or did not handle money well.)
- Are you generous or conservative with your money? Do you spend money on yourself? If so, on what?
- Do you feel guilty about money you have? Do you count your money? Do you not count or keep track of you money? Why? Has this always been true?Â
- What is the best choice you have made regarding money? What is your worst choice you have made regarding money?
- Do you gamble with your money? Do you know someone who does? What is your story about gambling with money?Â
- Socializing: When you eat with friends and there is a group check, are you the one to pick it up? Do you make sure that you pay your share and that it includes tax and tip? Do you not do this or know someone who does this? What story could you tell about picking or not picking up a group check?
- Do you tend to be more on the giving end of offering money or presents, or are you more often on the receiving end? Why?
- If you lacked money, how would you feel about others helping you pay your rent, or treating when you went out and were not in the position to reciprocate?
- If you have money, how would you feel about subsidizing a friend’s rent, or paying more than your share of things? What would you want in return? How would you feel if that friend spent money on something that in your value system seemed “extravagant?”
- How have your thoughts about money and your behavior been shaped by religious or philosophical beliefs?Â
- Do you donate money to causes? Which ones? If so, what are your reasons for giving?
More questions about money:
- Culture and religion often teach different roles and behaviors toward money for men and women. How has your approach to money and its use been shaped by your gender?
- How do you deal with the fact that two-thirds of the people of our world are poor? If you have personal relationships with people who are poor and /or work for social justice, how has that affected your attitude toward money?
- What experiences have you had of rich and poor living happily together? What did it require of each?
- How do you feel about asking other people for money…for yourself, a worthy cause, your congregations, etc?
- How does having or not having money affect your self-esteem?
- How does having more/less money than your spouse, partner, or friend impact your relationship with that person?
- Do you ever use money to control events and/or people? Do you ever use money to give others freedom and opportunity?
- Do you feel that dealing with money is a bothersome intrusion into the real purpose of your life?
- In what ways is your relationship to money a training ground for your spiritual journey, or an expression of your deepest values?
- How would you feel if you discovered that your income was derived from questionable enterprises?
- How do you feel when beggars approach you asking for money?