How we read and write are a product of the experiences we have had over our lifetime, and will continue till we die. As people grow they continue to learn and in turn continue to change as a result. Anything can influence a person enough to impact their life even if it seems inconsequential to us at the moment. Everyone’s impactful life treats may even stem from a single event. Meaning that you never know what that what you do may mean a lot more then you think.
However, even my writing habits stem from my childhood. Which now looking back on it was my most influential time in my life as it still holds some of the fundamental memories for who I am. Such as how i was treated by my pears and that being not very well. It’s no secret the children are “assholes” for a lack of a better word. Not to make a huge sob story about it but when I socially bombed with them I associated them with a negative connotation. More to the point my vocabulary was changed but my world had even become more cynical, altering how I would write about most content portraying those around me.
Speaking of cynical at around this time I was being medicated for ADHD(aka Attention, Deficit, Hyperactive, Disorder). This medication was so prevalent in my young life that it and it’s side effects were basically apparat of my personality. “Ridlen” the medication I was on was so potent it caused things like mood swings, aggressive thoughts, antisocial behavior and more. This caused me to be more aggressive toward my peers making my borderline psychotic toward them. My mental state was a mess and was an emotional wreck but there was one thing that helped, science. Science hit that sweet spot of knowledge and power. It was one of the few things I would read and write about at length even going as far as to mimic the language and terms shaping who I am and how I write to this day.
My major disposition on reading is not good to say the least. I tend to only read in cases of necessity. I would even go out of my way to avoid it with few exceptions. It’s not to say i hate reading and writing. I quite enjoy writing(meaning typing) at times and some book bounded literature I do like, just not the reading part. Preferring audiobooks in explanation of the text. This all seems to have seam back to when I was first being taught to read by my father. He was an avid reader himself you see and wanted to teach me how to read. However my fathers patients leave much to be desired. If he becomes frustrated he has a tendency to take the hand over fist approach. That being if you make the same mistake consistently he would yell or knock you on the head. To him I’m sore. It makes sense to teach through pain you will learn to avoid those mistakes that lead to pain but I associate it with whenever I read I feel pain so I don’t like it. This led to me hiding and avoiding reading at all cost. In addition it took me longer to get over bad reading habits because I was less focused on the reading and more focused on evasion. Of course I know now it won’t hurt me but the lingering feeling of embarrassment is there to the point where I would even avoid reading out loud through any means necessary even under thought of punitive measures from teachers or superiors
However beyond the what’s that has influenced me, it’s the who’s that most important. Beyond what you have heard about my father he’s responsible for inspiring me and reinforcing my mindset. As I stated before my father is an intellectual type and I strict one at that. When he saw that I was moving toward the scientific field he did everything to empower that sentiment. However, he wanted it to be through a book as he would with his literature I took to the internet choosing to read Wired articles. My father’s role in this is that he would feed me constant feed of trivia and introducing to shows such as Cosmos by Neil DeGrasse Tyson that furthered my fascination with such topics. Without my father enabling this in me I wonder if I would have stuck with it.
I’m someone who prides myself on the fact that I don’t idols any person. More see people as a goal or standards to live up to. However I would be remiss if I didn’t day people like Michio Kaku, the late Stephen hawking and the aforementioned Neil DeGrasse Tyson. They are much of the reason why I have such a fixation on perspective. This is due to me noticing that often brilliant scientists, even those mentioned, have differing ideas on philosophy and only through debate and listening to the opposing argument to which we learn and grow. Philosophy is heavily dependent on opposition because often we can always get everything right regardless how smart we may be.
To say that my reading/writing habits were shaped by my experiences and peers would be an understatement to say the least. Those around me positively and negatively have shaped the way that I view the world of literacy in my eyes, though it may be to me negatively associated I also find it necessary and somewhat enthralling depending on the topic. And I wouldn’t want it any other way because well I can’t imagine it any other way.