This exhibit is presented by Ayano Morishima. Born and raised in Tokyo, Japan, then moved to New York where she now lives and studies. Tom Phillips, an English artist who set a task himself to find a second-hand book for altering every page by painting, collage, and cut-up techniques to create an new pieces of art, called *Humument. Morishima created a humument called, La Fay-Vaile a new story that shows the viewer the three designs, Gates to Wonder, Book to Wonder, and Dreams to Wonder about how anyone can rewritten the destiny of the book.
Understanding Phillips’ concept behind his creative art work, Morishima combined different techniques she learned from her *Graphic design principle 1100 and English 1101 class to create a humument book. She changed the theme of the book, Wishes to a crazy wonderland theme to show completely different side of wonderland. She also got ideas from the origin of the story, Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland by a English author Charles Lutwidge Dodgson under the pseudonym, Lewis Carroll in 1865.
To create the humument design, she used her technique in using ink brush pen, *x-acto knife, old book and folding to show the viewers, the new kind of story that unfolds. For the first design, Morishima used the ink pen brush to make many repetition of connected diamonds to indicate a chandelier, blocking out most of the text in the book to show how visible text are connected to the picture that is shown as a ground. In addition, using figure and ground technique to show the viewers where exactly to see; in her case, the shapes of the ground shows more vividly since the black ink, the figure blocks out other context. For the second, she used x-acto knife to cut open a block of text at the bottom of the page and glued only in the middle. By doing this, she wants the viewers to show there is a book in a book. Same as the first design, she used the technique of figure and ground, showing the ground to block other context with the figure. In addition, by folding the corner to the right top, it shows the next design that shows the technique of a *chromatic gray that Morishima learned. Down into the rabbit hole, it leads the viewers to go though the door to read a little book that came from the concept of the original. For her last design, she created the after math of Wonderland. The madness in wonderland was finally came to the end; still in the land, the ballerina indicates the beautiful dream that it stabilizes the wonders in the wonderland.
Many would think that the ballerina could be Alice, however it is not necessary that the ballerina indicates Alice, since her being is the character in the original story, which is completely different from Morishima’s humumet art. She also used ink brush pen to create curtains on the right and left sides to show that she is on a stage, and other words that fits with the concept of the page, such as dancer, moment, felt, perfect, and choice.
Morishima, made this humument to attract people who are interested in creating their own story. It conveys though out each pieces of art work and detailed design, where it tells the message in the theme. Single page contains a message where Morishima’s story that she made though out the humument art, she wants the viewers to understand that stories can be can be rewritten to make new ones. Even characters, make them have their own destiny with out following the original story.
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*Humument: Entirely new version of book that is created from the original, such as adding painting, collage and cut-up techniques. Link
*Aka. COMD 1100; college courses that is part of Learning Community: Ways of Seeing. Link
*X-acto: aka. Utility knife; short, sharp blade mounted on a pen-like aluminum body, used for crafting and hobbies, such as model making. Link
*Chromatic Gary: Grays that exhibit a subtle, but discernible hue; created by adding larger amounts the complement and white. (COMD |Chromatic Gray Studies) Class 19 Link
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Your project . Here are a few ways to change it further:
*your introduction addresses Phillips, but it isn’t clear why. Instead, write about your project–you can mention that you were inspired by Tom Phillips’s work of transforming a used book into an art and poetry project. Also, what themes are you using to transform your book? Remember, you don’t need to only discuss the three pieces you wrote about in the didactic panels–this writing should address your project as a whole, with specific examples to support your argument.
* Humument doesn’t mean what you claim it does. It’s the title for Phillips’s work. You can call these pages altered texts, or come up with another name for them. But remember how Phillips got the word Humument from the title, A Human Document? That means it just refers to his project overall, not the technique.
* what do your footnotes do for you in general? Would it be possible to incorporate the ideas into your paragraphs instead?
* Is there a connection between Wishes and Alice in Wonderland? If so, have you transformed the theme? The paragraph in which you identify your use of the idea of wonderland does more to advance your ideas than the introduction does, and I wonder if you need both paragraphs. Is there a way to combine them? That way, you can show how your transformation of the theme (if you have in fact transformed it) shows in your work, inspired by Phillips’s project of transforming a text.
* when you write about the ballerina, it’s not clear how this connects to your theme or your project overall. What is the point of drawing the ballerina, and how does it further your argument?
* are there any instances of the text on the page relating to your theme or artwork? It was one of the goals of the project.
* you might think about how the final paragraph can be more specific about your artwork rather than a more general conclusion that could fit with any Humument-inspired project.
* As you make these changes, you can also proofread your writing more, making your sentences clearer and stronger to better support the professional voice you have created for this project.
I understand the changes for the first three stars, however I quite do not understand what you mean for the others.
>I did not mentioned between the original theme of the book, “Wishes” because there is not connection between the original Alice in Wonderland. (If you want me to make things up or mention it doesn’t relate; I am happy to add it) I changed it to more crazy wonderland getting ideas from the original Alice in Wonderland. I think I mentioned that.
>When you said that its not clear about the ballerina connecting to my theme or project over all. However if you read it, it says that how ballerina connecting to my theme. Or do you want me to add more? However I do not think I need to go further down. Since there is not much to talk about. I went straight to the point f what I wanted to say.
>I will include the meaning behind the text, however I believe that design is much important since it is eye catching than the text it self.
>Again, with the humument I will change it to my tittle. Other than that I think it wraps around the whole exhibit catalogue.
>I will work on my changes, however it sounds professional to me, and I even ask someone to peer edit/annotate for me. I do not really know how other people interpenetrate my writing since there is different people reading it. Since you are english professor, you caught my writing as unprofessional way.
Let me see if I can answer all of these questions for you:
* to start with the final point, you have established a professional voice for your project. Any chance you get to proofread lets you improve your writing and make it even more professional. We could address the kinds of changes you would make if we met in person, but to highlight one example to help you see what I mean: your second sentence is actually a sentence fragment because it doesn’t have a subject and verb that the rest of the sentence refers to: “Born and raised in Tokyo, Japan, then moved to New York where she now lives and studies.” To fix this, you could add “She was” to the start of this sentence, or combine it with the previous one: “This exhibit is presented by Ayano Morishima, who was born and raised in Tokyo, Japan, then moved to New York, where she now lives and studies.” Now that you have extra time, you might read through the whole project carefully to make the kinds of changes I pointed out above, which will further enhance the work you’ve done in COMD and ENG to get to this point in the book project and this gallery project.
* about Wishes: when I read this sentence: “She changed the theme of the book, Wishes to a crazy wonderland theme to show completely different side of wonderland” I thought you meant that you transformed the kind of wonderland it represents from one that was more straightforward to one that was more crazy, as Lewis Carroll’s is. Instead, you might just mention what the theme of the original book is–you can include that in just a few words, but for me it would clarify the difference. About Alice in Wonderland, though–how did you decide to use that as inspiration, since it has no connection to the text you are using?
* You claim that the ballerina represents a character from the original novel. Why have you chosen to preserve this character when you have changed so much of the meaning of the text through your drawing and word choices? How does she represent the wonderland theme? I’ve re-read your paragraph and I see that you make a connection between the ballerina and some words on the page, but I do not see how it connects to the wonderland theme. Maybe you can talk it through with someone, and have them take notes about what you say. Then you can use the notes to make your paragraph more explicit about the connection between the ballerina and wonderland. It doesn’t necessarily need to connect to the words on the page, but as a viewer, I should have a better idea of what the ballerina has to do with the page, the book, the theme, some aspect of your work.
If you have any other questions, let’s make sure we talk before you submit the final version, or ask them here and I’ll try to reply with enough detail.
Thanks you for the feed back! I also have to focus on the ENG annotating, and re-revise project #3 which I got a really lower grade where I am trying to fix, and Math finals. I think it is between for me to communicate though like this. It really helps me.
*I understand what you mean, it was probably a bad idea to get a reference from my peer’s post.
*About Wishes I will add the meaning of the text for the first two of the design, however I did mentioned the third one about the ballerina. “she also used ink brush pen to create curtains on the right and left sides to show that she is on a stage, and other words that fits with the concept of the page, such as dancer, moment, felt, perfect, and choice.” but I will change the “other words” to “other text” since I think it sounds more clear. Also, with the confusion between mentioning Lewis Carol’s original work, I’ll clarify that. When you said that, “About Alice in Wonderland, though–how did you decide to use that as inspiration, since it has no connection to the text you are using?” I will explain in the catalogue when I re-revise this that how the only design wise was inspired by the design and the text only relates to the design. As you think that Carrols’ work should relates to the text itself, however I made it this way and how text also relates to the each tittle for the design. Will mentioned that also.
*About ballerina: I mentioned that, “Many would think that the ballerina could be Alice, however it is not necessary that the ballerina indicates Alice, since her being is the character in the original story, which is completely different from Morishima’s humumet art.” This answers is from your sentence, “You claim that the ballerina represents a character from the original novel.” I mentioned that it is “not”, or should I say that it does “not relate”, because my friends suggested for me, for the use of “not necessary”. In addition about the words, it does not relate to the theme since it relates to the story behind the ballerina, which I mentioned in the catalogue. I will change it like I just explained it to you, for the catalogue.