A Humument is an altered book has unique combinations of literary and art, the author merged art with the connotation of specific words to exhibit two different genres into one. This book created by Tom Phillips, released in 20th century. Now in 21th century’s today, an artist whose name is Jingyi Jiao, she inspired by A Humument, as reference to that she created her own humument and named as “The Stage of Value”, “Box of dimension”, and “Music Party DO-RE-MI”. Jiao born and raised in Tianjin, China. She now lives in New York as a college student, majors in Communication Design and continuing her art design studies. Jiao chose Macbeth to be her humument, by using the techniques learned from her english and graphic design classes helped to create art works on Macbeth, such as collage, placement, overlap, etc. “The Stage of Value” is her best piece of work. It looks easy and simple, but the meaning behind is significant. For “The Stage of Value” the artist chose to articulate value, which is the lightness and darkness of a color, used materials of Inking brush pens (black, dark gray, and light gray). Using inking brush pens to block out specific words, Jiao chose the word “stage” to incorporate the fact that Macbeth is a famous play itself. Using the skill of placement, the page shows value from the darkest blacks to no color at all. The black and grays color choices refers to the evilness, hopeless, and the bunch of negative messages convey from Macbeth. More than half areas were low-key, only a small part left as white, because there still a little positive messages left in Macbeth, which are former King’s kindness and soldiers’ loyalty. Her second work is the “Box of dimension”. In Box of dimension, Jiao shows technique of overlap. Using inking brush pens to color boxes into different values, the transparent gray colors merged up, and becomes overlapped. By overlapping the boxes with different ranges of value together, it tricks your eyes and gives a 3D feeling. The last one is the “Music Party DO-RE-MI”. In Music Party Do-Re-Mi, it shows Jiao’s learning of rhythmic pattern that she connects with her interest in music. This composition shows the two different rhythms of staccato and legato. Staccato represents sharp patterns while legato represents round patterns. Jiao combines them up by using the creativity to turn music into art. So when people read this Macbeth, they can get a feeling of happy and relax, an opposite feeling as Macbeth’s tragedy. Jiao conveys a lot messages in her humument arts, and it also gives an effect to Macbeth. She exhibits her works at same time tells a short story plot about Macbeth, and also add a new feeling to it, other than the tragedy it brings a new kind of fresh mood for readers.
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While I do get a sense of the organization and concept of the project in general from the introductory and closing sentences, the second and third works that you’ve written about don’t seem to be given the same amount of attention as the first one, so maybe one suggestion of mine would be to try and make connections between those pages on their own if possible, which could get you to the minimum word count. You might also want to make separate paragraphs for the introductory paragraph and for all three of the Humument pages you’re describing, and try to get them all to match up in content.
I agree with Romie, also you should name the person who wrote Macbeth since you already mentioned the book. I like your introduction and how that flow went right though into your little bio and your work. If this was 600 words, I wouldn’t bother changing it, however if you have more thank 600, I do not think you need to mention what major you are taking as a college student.
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I agree with Romie on organizing your catalogue into paragraphs because I don’t really know if there is a thesis statement that’s present here. I like how you included graphic design terms such as low key when describing the images. I also like the transition from introducing Tom Phillips to introducing yourself.
Your classmates have given you some good advice. Since your draft is shorter than the required length, you have the space to make their suggested changes and others:
* you discuss the themes in your last few lines, but you should much earlier, in an introduction.
* the project overall needs to be divided into paragraphs. Romie offers a good suggestion for organizing this. That’s a good place to start, although you might make further changes after that revision.
* you only write about the three pages you have written didactic panels for–but your project should focus on your book overall as well as a few pieces specifically. Do you see how you can incorporate the work you’ve done throughout the book to enhance your project? Doing this might make the organization Romie suggested a little difficulty, but it’s still a good starting place.
* The catalog will have an introductory piece about the joint project–just as our poster did, but longer. That means that you don’t need to explain Tom Phillips’s work as much as you do. Instead, you can write about the kind of inspiration he offered you in developing your art/text project. Remember also that what Phillips did was call A Humument, but yours are not called that. You can call these pages altered texts, or come up with another name for them. But remember how Phillips got the word Humument from the original title, A Human Document? That means it just refers to his project overall, not the technique.
* In light of that inspiration, where does the text come into your project?
* As you make these changes, be sure to proofread your writing more, making your sentences clearer and stronger to better support the knowledgeable voice you have created for this project.