Caring or Hurting ?

In the short story of ” A Rose for Emily”, The main character that is being read about goes through her life being told how to live it. I can compare this stories with the other short stories that we have read. Emily could not marry any man she pleased with out the approval of her father. Of course that is a natural process for one’s parents to give an opinion. But in this situation, her father disapproved all of the male suiters as a candidate. “ We remembered all the young men her father had driven away….” (Section 2)  As any parent would do, he was probably keeping her safe.

In my opinion he probably thought that no one was best for his daughter. In the story of ” The Yellow Wallpaper”, we also see about a women that is claimed to be sick by her husband who is a doctor. Her husband controls what his wife does in order to get “better” from her “sick conditions”. “John is a physician…If a physician of high standing and one’s own husband, assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous depression. (Page1)

          I can say that both these men probably had a good intention of keeping their women safe, but in reality they were both hurting them. Emily’s father hurt her psychologically, in a way that she probably didn’t notice at first. She kept her fathers body after he died and lied that he had died until she was being questioned about it. She also poisoned the last man she fancied and kept his body at her bed in the room. She felt the need to be accompanied because she probably  felt lonely. And in the Yellow Wallpaper, her husband took away her sanity, he did not let her do absolutely anything that would harm her. He took away the liberty of having friends and even from writing. The women felt that if she wrote with freedom she would feel better , but she was prohibited from it. In the end of the story, we find that she had gone crazy and probably developed into a serious psychological problem, which made her obsess over a yellow wallpaper in the room where she slept.

In conclusion, both of these short stories we see women being cared and hurt for by men, with “good intentions” but in reality end up having bad results in the end.

9 thoughts on “Caring or Hurting ?

  1. In “A Rose for Emily,” I don’t agree with the fact that Emily’s father had any good intentions as to keeping away all the men that tried to seek more than a friendship with her. Overall, he was a very stubborn man who believed that his daughter was too good for any of those men and that’s why he never let any of them get near her. This affected Emily greatly, and it is the main reason why I believe she murdered Mr. Barron.
    In “The Yellow Wallpaper,” by reading the few facts that we get about the husband John, we can interpret that he was dominant, and that is the reason why he didn’t want to let her write to “cure herself” from her nervous disease. I believe that what really made her crazy was the fact that she could no longer write freely, as you mentioned.
    Thus far, I don’t think that neither Emily’s father nor John had any good intentions as to the decisions that they imposed onto the women in the stories, respectively. They did these things as a means to exert their dominance over the women, as men that they were.

  2. I heard about people who are under the control of their parents.They are not allowed to choose anything they want and who they want to be with. I think it is an unhealthy relationship and that it is unfair for these kinds of individuals. I believe every person should have the right to marry who they want and live the life they long for. Yes, they should respect their parents and take their opinions into consideration but that does not mean they should be able to dictate their lives. A person should live a good life and marry a significant other who cares for them and does not hurt them. It is vital for a relationship to consist of loyalty, trust and care.

  3. I agree with you that saying the men in both stories are hurting their love ones, I think the men kind of did the wrong way in order to keep their woman or daughter safe. For example, in “A Rose for Emily”, her father keep the men away from her daughter so she won’t get hurt but at the same time she gets less experience communicating with men. So in that case, she doesn’t know how to see or get to know better of a man that’s is why she was mistaken that she thought she could marry Homer. If she has more male friends to talk with, the solution might not bee chosen that wrong man. Also in “The Yellow Wallpaper”, John took away her diary in order to stop her from thinking and writing about things. Instead of taking things away from her, he should spend a little more time to talk to his wife or bring her out to environment which give more fresh air. This way might not be the best way to treat her but at least it’s better than put her in a room with no one can talk with her. Keeping her in a room with no one will make even worst because when someone is really bored, they might start the hallucination in their head.

  4. I happen to agree with you as well when it pertains to the love and care shown to the women in both these pieces when it pertains to the men who play a major role in their life. In the case of Emily she was kept in a sort of gilded cage that broke her psyche and led her to commit some outrageous acts including murder. She was led down this road because she was not allowed to explore life on her own and was brainwashed into thinking like her father wanted her too. In reference to the narrator in the yellow wallpaper she is cared for and doted upon by her husband so much that it leads to a psychotic break in her mind due to not being allowed to make her own choices. This was her way of attaining freedom even if it was by losing her sanity. So in my opinion they were hurt by the predominant male in their life and it led to some very insane decisions that shaped the way that they lived their lives.

  5. I certainly agreed with heyheihey123’s point of view. In the story “A Rose for Emily,” if Emily has more male friends then she would understand better and communicate with them well. And in the story “The Yellow wallpaper,” if John spend more time talking to his wife and comfort her instead of leave her alone and control her, then her mental illness will get better because a sick person really need the love one’s attention and care about her by chatting with her and find out how to help her instead of controlling her.

  6. I agree with you that both men had a good intention of trying to keep their women safe. But in the end it only hurt them. Emily’s father hurt her psychologically, even though she wasnt aware of it at first. In the yellow wallpaper her husband took away here freedom and free will. She wasnt aloud to do anything that could harm her and in my opinion thats the only way you can learn from your mistakes.

    • I think when you truly care for someone you’d respect their wishes and wants. Even if you may disagree or not like it in the moment, you would at least give them a chance to fulfill their desires. There was proof that Emily had love and respect for her father, and it is evident in her demeanor after his death. However, there’s no proof that her father actually meant well by disapproving all her potential male partners. We can speculate this, because we can imagine the relationship between a protective father and his prize daughter, and we can picture that he’d want the very best for her. However he didn’t give anyone his approval, which can also be speculated that it had more to do with his own stubbornness than with his protection for Emily. The same happens in “The Yellow Wallpaper” where free will is taken by a man. I’m sure John loved his wife and wanted to see her better but I think he should have allowed her to freely express herself how she wanted. I agree that it hurt both of these women to be treated this way but I think good intentions are followed by good, and yet sometimes difficult actions.

  7. I agree that both Emily Grierson’s father and John the main characters husband had good intentions towards their decisions. Grierson’s father must of felt that no man was up to his daughter’s standards so he pushed them all away. As for John he wanted his wife to “not be ill”. Not realizing that she wasn’t ill at all, she was just temporarily going through a depression and by writing made her cope with it. I believe the ending of each stories had to do with the man decisions, by Miss Emily not ever having a man, made her very controlling and wanted to keep everything she ever cared for close to her. Which is most likely why she had to kill Homer Barron was to keep him close to her, so she doesn’t feel lonely. As for John, his wife was lonely all the time that a small thing as the wallpaper drove her crazy and why she went into the wallpaper.

  8. Some of you have raised the idea that Mr. Grierson didn’t let Emily date the men she wanted to so he could protect her. But there’s something else also at play here. Do you remember her cousin who visits? She doesn’t approve of Homer Barron either. What drives both of them?

    We aren’t so surprised when a parent controls a child, but John’s control over his wife’s actions is surprising. We might say that he acts paternalistically, especially in light of our comparison to Emily and her father. What does that term mean, and in which relationships would we say it applies?

    I should point out that the narrator in “The Yellow Wall-Paper” is already ill when they arrive at the house–it’s their main reason for their extended visit. What insights do you get from Gilman’s claims in “Why I Wrote ‘The Yellow Wall-Paper'”?

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