A friendship that has been significant to me is with my friend Debbie. We met in the 6th grade because we were in the same school but we didn’t start to actually become friends until the 8th grade. In the 6th grade we didn’t have any classes together and weren’t in the same friend group so we never spoke to each other and didn’t know anything about one another. I would say we really became inseparable starting in the 9th grade and all throughout high school. I remember one day in the summer of 2016 I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies together and I think we were both surprised by me asking this because it had kind of came out of nowhere. I’m not really sure why I asked her to go, I just knew that she lived close to me and thought why not invite her.

When I think back on high school all my memories involve her and she’s the first person that comes to mind. Debbie wasn’t just my friend or even my best friend, she was my sister. We were inseparable and even though we rarely ever had any classes together we managed to have such a strong friendship. As we got older we were in the same friend group so aside from hanging out alone with each other, we would also hangout with our group of friends. We’re so different from each other and somehow we were always so in sync. In the 10th grade I asked her if she would like to come to my house in the morning and get a ride to school with me and my mom so that she wouldn’t have to take the bus. From that point on my mom drove us to school everyday. We were together starting from 7:15AM until 6 or 7PM because she would come over my house almost everyday after school.

I’m an only child and I always wanted a sister because I felt lonely growing up. With Debbie it felt like she was my sister and I never had to feel lonely again. We enjoyed each other’s company whether it be while we were out doing something fun, doing homework or even going over each other’s houses just to take naps. Debbie was there for me through all the happy moments in my life and she was also there for me during my worst moments. The most significant moment of our friendship for me was when I was going through my first heartbreak. She was there when I needed her and I don’t think I would have been able to get through that without her. In our freshman year of college we went to different schools but would still talk to each other all the time. She came with me and my family on a 7 hour drive to my school upstate and later on in the semester she endured that long drive 2 more times to come see me. 

We thought we would be close friends forever because it had been that way all throughout high school but not only did we grow up as time went on, we grew apart. We each started to form separate lives because of jobs, boys and school and soon our facetime calls stopped happening, we weren’t texting each other as much and we weren’t hanging out with each other. At first this change was hard for me because I didn’t want to accept losing my best friend so I kept trying to hold onto our friendship but it became exhausting when it felt one sided.

Right now her and I don’t really speak to each other and when we do it’s just quick responses in a group chat. I think there are a lot of unsaid things between us and there are feelings that are hurt by situations in the past. When I was finally able to accept the changes in our friendship I felt relieved because I was constantly stressed about it and would think about it all the time. I stopped looking at it as a negative and honestly just stopped thinking of where it started to go downhill. The way I see it is that a lot of people aren’t able to say they had a best friend that they were close to for so many years and I’m grateful that I’m able to say I did. We’re not the same people we were in high school because we’ve grown up so I don’t think we will get back that friendship we had. I’m ok with that because I would rather leave things as they are then keep trying to force something and then potentially ruin it. Even though we’re not close anymore I still love her and would be there for her if she ever needed me. I should probably tell her that but sometimes I would rather not say anything at all because I don’t want to rehash things.

Writing this was difficult for me and I had to stop a couple times because I felt overwhelmed with my emotions. I wish I could go back to high school when everything was simple and I had my best friend with me at all times. I think about my friendship with Debbie a lot, especially when I see her because there’s so many things I want to say to her but I don’t know how. After writing this I kind of regret it a little because I had to read several questions about our friendship and some of them I didn’t feel comfortable talking about because it makes me sad. Now that I have revised this piece and won’t have to go over it for a while I feel a sense of relief because I don’t want to keep living in the past and I felt like that’s what has happened ever since writing this.